Everything

Jessica sat down at the side of you in the other chair available at the desk. It felt like the conversation that had started earlier was now a lot harder to pick back up now that some time had passed but you had promised Sarah you would try your best and at this point, you were determined to follow through with talking with her.

“Is there anything specific you want to know before I just start rambling stuff off from the beginning?” you asked, knowing that you were likely to just keep on talking once you started.

Jessica actually looked in your direction for the first time since she had been here and her eyes seemed to be trained on yours, as if trying to figure out how genuine of a question that had been.

“Does Sarah still…” she went to ask, her voice getting caught in her throat and her eyes darting away to not look at you anymore.

It looked like she was just going to give up right then and there instead of continuing so you did your best at filling in the blanks.

“Sarah doesn’t hate you or anything like that. I don’t know the full details as that’s between the two of you but she wouldn’t be asking me to try and get along with you if she didn’t want you to keep talking with you” you replied, hoping that that was where Jessica had been going.

At first she clenched her fists as she heard your voice but you could see the strain in her muscles loosen as she took in what you had said. She still didn’t fully relax around you but it looked as if the concern she had about her relationship with Sarah had passed for now and she was returning back to her default state. One half between wanting to hate and ignore you while the other half wanted to hear you out based on both Sarah and Grace putting in a good word for you.

“You can say what you wanted to” she eventually said after a few seconds of calming down.

You knew you would ramble if you didn’t have some sort of order to what you wanted to say so you just went chronologically. You started with how you hadn’t exactly been the best brother to Sarah in the past and how you wanting to get closer to Emma had done more damage than you had first considered when it came to your relationship with her and also the one she had with Emma.

It looked like Jessica was about to interject and defend Sarah at that point but you made it clear that you were the one solely in the wrong at that point and it hadn’t been until recently that Sarah had mentioned her feelings from back there and you got to see things from a perspective of your own.

You talked about talking to Sarah again and trying to repair your relationship and how she had also been the one to accept that you were willing to make an effort when she could have clearly just ignored you.

From this point, you had a bit more trouble freely speaking as the influence of the KDK had been a major part in your and Sarah’s relationship going forward and if you wanted to talk more about you having multiple partners, it was going to require registering Jessica with the KDK so she had some influence over her.

Doing that now though felt like the purpose of the talk was going to be tainted so you held off even attempting a registration, letting her come to a conclusion without her judgement being compromised.

It would definitely change how she felt about your partners, let alone the fact that you and Sarah were brother and sister, so you didn’t say anything about you and Sarah being romantically involved while Emma was also your girlfriend. Just that you had gotten a lot closer and had now become friends again.

You mentioned how her friendship with Emma had been repaired and that you didn’t want to be the person getting in the way of anything that Jessica and Sarah might do in the future but you were also planning on sticking by her for the foreseeable future and not fucking up like you did last time.

All of that came out of your mouth with a few side-tracks and times where you had to stop yourself to get back on topic but you got to a conclusion eventually, realising you had nothing else left to say as Jessica had listened to you the entire time.

Not a single customer had asked either of you for help during that time so you stayed grateful that Monday was apparently one of the less busy days, probably giving Grace a good reason to actually get all the work she needed done without you distracting her.

Your thoughts nearly got sidetracked again as you waited for Jessica to… well do anything but eventually she brought you out of your thoughts.

Her stance remained just as stoic as before with her arms crossed and expression neutral, staying seated without moving an inch from where she sat in her chair. Neutral for her, that is, you had only ever seen her looking angry so what you assumed was her default was clearly looking like anger when it came to being involved with you.

“Right, so you think all of this so far is your fault? And that Sarah didn’t do anything?” she asked, looking back at your eyes as if telling you that she was watching your reactions like a hawk.

From what you had said to her so far, you could say that that was the conclusion you had come to. However your actual feelings on the matter were slightly different. With the help of the KDK, you had regained an interest in Sarah and basically all the women in your life but if you had never come across it, would you have rekindled any relationship with your sister?

You hadn’t exactly been the only one who could have reached out and while you didn’t blame Sarah given how you had treated her, there had been plenty of opportunities for either of you to try and build bridges. That meant both you and her could have tried more in recent years.

“While I’m being honest with you, I’d say it’s like 99% my fault. I started this by pushing her away and yes there were a lot of times where I could have reached out to try and fix things but… I didn’t know I was fully the problem until it was pointed out to me. Should I have figured it out sooner? Yes I should have. Would it have been easier if Sarah had spoken up?... I think it would have. It feels like I’m victim blaming when I say that and that's not what I’m trying to say, so…” you answered, getting stopped from speaking any further when Jessica pushed her chair back and moved for the first time since she had sat down, pulling your attention back to her and how she had been reacting to what you had said.