Even Bandits have Rules

“So what you’re saying is that I shouldn’t have defended myself?” Olivia asked in a deadpan voice as she stared across the table.

Torra, who hadn’t offered a family name, glared back across the table at the Paladin of Revelry.

Olivia and the other adventurers had seen her twice, once accompanying Alexander Houndsfang. She was one of his lieutenants and seemed to be a respected and feared member of the gathered bandits, and this was the second time in one day that she was making a ruling over Olivia causing shit in the alehouse.

“I’m saying that you might be more trouble than you’re worth,” Torra grunted. “I’m saying that a pretty face like yours, surrounded by men like this, makes people do and say stupid things. I’m saying-”

“So you think I’m pretty,” Olivia interrupted with a teasing smirk.

Torra grunted.

“Stop getting people injured or killed. Especially out in the fuckin’ open,” Torra said. “Or you’ll get done for being too much of a hassle, no matter whether you’re good with that sword or not.”

“Please,” Olivia said. “You can’t tell me you weren’t at least a little impressed by me and my friends.”

The chaos in the alehouse had been rough. Jade had been **** to contend with four bandits as she held them off from flanking Renee or Olivia, while Olivia wrestled with the snarky woman from the Tentacles who had started making remarks about how ‘someone’ stank of holy piss water. Renee, who had found out from the Coalblacks that the leader of the Tentacles had an apprentice, had been ready to head off the magical attack that had been coming.

No one had died, though Jade was a little bruised up and both Renee and the Tentacles apprentice were a little scorched by the flying magic. For her part, Olivia had been hauled off of the bandit from the Tentacles before she could do any real damage; Torra had pulled the two of them apart, shaken them, and then **** the bar fight to end with a wordless bark of her voice.

“Doesn’t matter how impressive or pretty you are,” Torra told Olivia. “You cause too many problems, you’re either out on your ass or dead.”

Olivia gave Torra a considering look.

“Do I get the sense that she’s maybe attracted to me?” Rhia asked me.

“Let’s see,” I said and rolled behind my DM screen. The roll itself didn’t matter - when playing a game that was open to sexual activity, the answer to ‘is this person attracted to me’ was almost always going to be yes. I wanted to at least keep up the appearance of these things being random though. “You get a sense that, even if she wasn’t meaning the ‘pretty’ comments the way you made them sound, her eyes do tend to travel across your face and body a lot. And she’s been looking down at your lips occasionally.

“You know,” Olivia said. “There is one way that I could stay out of trouble.”

“Acting like a reasonable person?” Torra suggested.

“Spend some time with me tonight,” Olivia said. “Keep an eye on me. Get to know my friends. Share a drink or three with me. I promise that I’m a lot of fun.”

Torra hesitated for a long moment before grunting noncommittally. “Maybe,” she said. “For the good of the camp.”

“I’m looking forward to it,” Olivia grinned lopsidedly. “Oh, but, ah, even if I’m trying not to cause any problems, what happens if I get attacked in camp? Am I seriously going to be at risk of getting murdered for stopping myself from getting murdered by a bigoted cult?”

“As long as you’re not the one to attack someone first, then you can defend yourself all that you need,” Torra sighed, then waved her off. “Now go, before I regret this whole conversation.”

“See you later,” Olivia said, that smirk coming back again.

“Dude, you are totally going to bang her,” Elyse laughed as the scene ended.

“I thought you were gonna put your foot in your mouth and get us imprisoned or something,” Tori chuckled.

“Wow, thanks for the vote of confidence,” Rhia rolled her eyes as she grinned.

Of course, a good bar fight deserves a back alley ambush, and even though it was the middle of the afternoon for the adventurers when they left the alehouse they were in a camp full of treacherous bandits.

“Oi!” called a man who was following them down around one of the rises in the lightly forested area around the two stone ruins. He was dressed much like most of the other men and women who had gathered - worn linens and dirty leathers under a cloak that could disappear in the green and browns of the forest. He was bearded and relatively large, though not so much that he loomed over any of the ladies. The only thing that really stood out about him, other than his ugly mug, was that dried and withered rose pinned to the front of the studded leather vest he wore. “I hear you sluts are open for business,” he said, leering at them with a nasty smirk. “How much is it then for a toss?”

“He’s part of the… Eastwood Shackles,” Tori said as she quickly scanned through her notes about the different groups in the camp. “Ah, shit. They have close ties to the Tentacles.”

“I-” Elyse started, but Rhia interrupted with a hand out towards her friend.

“Before anyone responds to the asshole, I want to check around to see if anyone else is sneaking around,” Rhia said.

“Roll Perception,” I said. “And Elyse, please go ahead.”

Renee turned back and sneered at the man. “You must have us confused with your mother,” she said. “And from what I hear, she doesn’t cost more than a couple of coppers.”

“Oooh,” Tori cackled.

Rhia was snorting as she tried to do the math for her role. “Seventeen perception,” she finally blurted out.

“Alright,” I said. “As the man calling to you starts to turn red in anger, because how dare you besmirch the memory of his dear sweet mother, Olivia glances around quickly and notices there are a couple more nondescript bandits up the path that you were taking and heading towards you, and there are another three that are emerging from the underbrush at the top of the rise.”

“Two-to-one odds,” Olivia murmured to her companions. I’ll take the two coming up if you can handle the ones up top for a moment or two, Renee.”

“I’ll gut yer, slatterns!” The insulted man said, pulling a hatchet from under his cloak.

“Guess we don’t have time for another plan,” Jade sighed.

“Roll for initiative,” I said with a smile.

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