Eddie, from a complete failure to sex mage

You just masturbated so hard you injured your dick. Again. Congratulations.

I guess it's time for bed.

You reach for the light switch and it turns off.

What? It's not a fuse or the hall would be out. Did I do that somehow? With magic?

You're irrationally certain that it's magic.

How the hell did I get magic? Did I just jerk off too much and broke my brain? I think I must have. Can I do more?

You suddenly get a feeling in your balls that feels like slight pressure. It's quickly fading and you're completely sure for no reason (again) that it's your magic energy. These overpowered gut reactions are weird, but you can only freak out about one thing at a time right now.

Cool, I got mana. Can I stop it from leaking or whatever? Maybe if I... yup. That visualization worked perfectly. I'm pretty good at this! How much did flicking a light switch cost I wonder? Is it worth using some up to test? I think I have to. Hmm, that feels like almost half of what I have left. Pretty costly but it doesn't feel like I have much to begin with. I bet I get more from jerking off some more. Oh, ow. That hurts right now, but I did get an absolutely minuscule amount so it does work in theory. I bet I get more if it's real sex or something. Can I heal this dick?

You visualize your dick healing, but immediately get absolutely demolished by overwhelming, mind-blanking pain. Not from your dick. That seems at least halfway better. But your entire lower torso feels like that scene from a space movie where the guy got sucked out a really small hole in the ship. Life is made of pain and there is nothing else in the universe and dear Jeebus do you think if I died it would stop? You're the manliest man in the history of the world, so obviously you let out probably the loudest scream anyone has ever made ever which somehow sounds both terrifying and pitiful. Like a billion dying cats.

Time passes, probably. You're not sure. Time isn't real, just pain. Pain exists, and a throat alternating sobbing with silent screams. There might be a voice too, maybe something about a locked door. For some reason, you say "Key in vent". You have to say it more than once.
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