Distraction Time

"A-Admiral Shepard! Matriarch Aethyta!" Miranda stammered looking over her shoulder to Jack, the tattooed woman having just closed the kitchen door with a look of surprise on her face. Turning back to their new guests, Miranda **** a smile and cleared her throat before saying, "What a pleasant surprise! What can we do for you today?"

"Sorry to drop by unannounced." Hannah apologized as Miranda allowed the two in, "We aren't interrupting anything, are we?"

"Oh, no. Jack and I just got up, actually." Miranda said as she closed the door, following them into the living room. "Is there something we can help you with?"

"Yeah, so funny story." Aethyta said, "The Vice Admiral and I were over at Jane and Liara's, but they're not home. There's signs that they were home, and their skycar is out front, but they're not there."

"You don't say..." Miranda said with a nervous chuckle as she and Jack gave each other a look.

"We were just wondering if they stopped by here, by any chance." Hannah continued, "You two are the closest members, living only a mile away from them and all."

"Nope! Haven't seen them!" Jack stated as she walked up to the two older women, wrapping an arm around each of their respective shoulders and turned them away from the kitchen door. "But if they stop by, we'll be sure to let you -"

"Good Lord!" Hannah cried out as she pointed to the broken window of the back door, as well as the glass on the floor. "What the hell happened there?!"

"Oh, that?" Jack asked nervously, trying to think of a lie. Looking down at Eezo, the tattooed woman quickly replied, "Well, Eezo was playing a little too roughly and... Well, you can figure out the rest."

The Varren looked up and tilted his head at Jack, the tattooed woman mouthing out "Momma's sorry" to the creature.

"Yes. Well." Miranda said as she slowly backed towards the kitchen, "I'm going to go make some tea. Please sit and make yourselves comfortable. Just not on the couch."

And with that, Miranda slunk into the kitchen, closing the door behind her. Once inside, she saw Jane and Liara standing in front of her.

"What's going on?" Liara asked.

"Well, the good news is that Jack and I can handle our uninvited guests long enough for you to either sneak up to our room and get dressed, or sneak out the front and get back home."

"Why would we need to sneak back home?" Jane asked quizzically.

"Well, that's the bad -"

"Ooh! They have a pool!"

"Keep your clothes on, Missy! Just because you're royalty doesn't mean you can turn any house we step inside of into a nudist resort!"

"Oh no..." Liara squeaked, her face turning light blue.

"Our parents were at the door?" Jane hissed as she grabbed Miranda by the collar of her robe, glaring into her eyes, "And you let them in?!"

"The Vice Admiral of The Alliance Marines and The Matriarch of The Asari were at my door." Miranda replied, "What was I supposed to do?"

"Anything else!" Jane quietly snapped as she let Miranda go. "Get them out of here!"

"Look, Jack and I can keep them busy." Miranda said as she put the kettle on to make tea. "You two can - "

"Yeah, yeah! I heard you the first time!" Jane groaned. The woman eyed one of the windows for a second, not seeing a way to open -

"You are not breaking another one of my windows, Commander." Miranda said icily, giving a stern frown. "And even if I did let you break that one, Jack and I had all the other windows in this house made with the same glass that was found on the windows of The Normandy. You just got lucky that the one you broke the contractors ran out of that glass."

"Ugh! Fine." Jane groaned as Miranda pulled the steaming kettle off the stove and placed the tea bags inside, sitting it on the tray with four mugs.

Miranda put on another **** smile as she left the kitchen with the tray in hand. "Okay, now where were we?"

Miranda left the door slightly open so Liara and Jane could peek out, seeing both their parents having their backs to them as they spoke with Jack and Miranda.

"Okay, so where do we go?" Liara whispered, "If we sneak out the front door now, we might run the risk of being seen again."

"But if we sneak up to their bedroom, we'll need to find a way to climb down before we can run back home." Jane added.

"True." Liara said with a nod, "And I'd much rather run around bare foot than bare bodied."

"Understatement of The Eon." Jane commented, smirking a bit. "In that case, upstairs it is."

With that said, Jane and Liara opened the door the rest of the way, the two love birds sneaking out quietly before closing the door. The human and Asari tiptoed past a small table, under the watchful eye of their friends; Jack simply nodding along to whatever Aethyta was talking about.

One small factor that neither couple took into account, however, of Eezo. The varren continued to chew on the skillet when he looked up and saw the naked couple. Getting up, the varren walked over to the two with the skillet in his mouth, wagging his tail as he caused the lovers to stop in his tracks.

"Oh, so now he's playful?" Liara hissed.

"Eezo... We can't play now, boy." Jane whispered as she and Liara tried to sneak past. "Once we're out of this, I'll throw that skillet for you until I develop carpal tunnel syndrome. But right now, we -"

As Jane had her eyes on the varren, she didn't notice the vase behind her until her butt pushed it off the table it was on, causing it to fall and shatter on the ground as Jane and Liara went wide eyed in horror and surprise. As did Jack and Miranda as they realized what had happened.

Hannah and Aethyta also went wide eyed, albeit without the horror as they both slowly turned to look over their shoulders...

"Jacqueline Naught! Will you marry me?!"

Only to have their heads snap back right around to see Miranda on her knees, staring up into Jack's eyes as she held the surprised and dumbfounded tattooed woman's hands. Even Jane and Liara were momentarily stunned.