Composed and Righteous

With profusely sweating hands I slowly shoved my phone back into my pocket, but not after shutting off all notifications, the furious glares from my classmates and professor enough to convince me of my own annoyance.

However the previous questions still baffled me, a stinging dread aching in the back of my mind, an image filling my horny mind of the big-chested, dark-skinned and totally ripped Yoruichi rapidly rubbing my girlfriend's clit while Orihime grabs bottle after bottle of artificial jizz.

Exactly that explained why I could no longer focus and thus basically missed the whole content of the lesson, idly daydreaming, mindlessly staring at the tiled ceiling, happily swinging my legs beneath the wooden desk.

Jolting from my seat, running through the hallways and spiraling down the stairs in a haze, I quickly approached my bike, my fingers quivering in ecstacy at the prospect of my horny, wet girlfriend awaiting me at home in a seductive naked outfit, my phone's scores of unread messages no longer present in my mesmerized mind.

Straddling my pedals in unprecedented vigor and speed, I whizzed past the parked cars, slumbering cats and trimmed trees, my face contorted in primal joy as my tongue dangled in the refreshing air.

After about 4 minutes, record time I must remark, I approached Orihime’s house, turning around the corner, entering her front yard, hurriedly throwing my bike into the grass, a distant barking dog the last thing my blood-pulsating ears conceived.

Beads of sweat streamed down my arm into my beige pullover's sleeve, an uncomfortable feeling settling in as I froze, hand ready at the doorknob, just about to twist it open.

But there was something odd, very odd.

Something as unusual as a politician actually accomplishing something, as uncommon as finding a 5-leaved clover, as bizarre as an anime slice-of-life moment actually happening in life.

Little tremors went through the typical American wall, quiet thumps coursing through the dimmed material, my eyes widening in shock and irritation.

If only I had seen the red van in front of the house earlier, maybe this whole tragedy could have been evaded.