Cassidy's Notes on the AMA

App Title: Affection Multiplier App

The icon for the app is a heart with a green plus on the right side, and then a couple of like shadowy plusses behind it like a trail or something. The heart also has a little jagged line running through the middle of it from left to right that sort of looks like a heart monitor.

When I open it my phone screen goes white for a moment, completely blank, and then it shows the Icon again but this time it’s animated for a second with the plusses drifting away and replacing themselves and the heartbeat line running. That only lasts a second though, and it fades away and is replaced by the main page.

The whole app has a Light and Dark mode, and I have it set on Dark mode so it has a black background and white text. I don’t know what the font for the text is, but it looks standard I guess?

THE MAIN PAGE

The first big thing on the Main Page is right in the upper middle of the phone screen, it says “Hello Cassidy, I Hope You’re Having A Lovely Day…”

It’s always said that, and now that I’m writing that out I feel like it’s kinda weird. I know when I first opened the App years ago I was like ‘Oh Great, I downloaded spyware’ because it never asked me for my name but it already knew who I was. Obviously I figured out it wasn’t spyware, it was magic, but still.

Anyways, that’s the main thing. Above that message in the top left is the App icon, and that’s on every page from now on. It’s a ‘back to Main’ button on any other page, but it doesn’t do anything here. On the left hand top of the page is a little Gear icon (leads to Settings page), a little Speech Bubble (leads to a Help page), and a little circle with an ‘i’ in it (leads to Info page).

Below the main message as the three primary navigation buttons. The top one is ‘Personal Statistics,’ the middle one is ‘Relationships,’ and the bottom one is ‘Perk Shop.’ Then, right at the bottom of the page, there’s a little scrolling ‘News of the Day’ text line that tells me the biggest Relationship changes that have happened in the last 24 hours. Right now while I’m writing it’s ‘Dayana Aguilar Love +3, Catherine Worndorf Lust +23.’

Now, please remember first that Lust is the stat that goes up and down the most, Tiger. Your lust for me goes down after we have satisfying sex, then builds back up again, so seeing big Lust changes isn’t that big a deal really. The three of us had sex last night, so Cattie’s lust is just rebuilding from there - and let’s be real, we’re kinda all acting extra horny right now. I’m sure if I could see a Lust score for between you and her it would be even faster. She’s so disgustingly in love with you, and you treat her so good.

And the Love score increase happened after Dayana and I had our big talk. She’s mad at me and made it pretty clear, but we’re not on, like, ‘I hate you’ terms so it was also a big talk that brought us closer together. That’s why Love would go up there. I assume. I dunno, this is just why I think it would happen.

SETTINGS PAGE

This page has all the same stuff at the very top of the screen (App Icon on left, Gear Icon, Speech Bubble and Info thingy)

A title just says ‘Settings’

There aren’t many settings to do anything with. There’s one that changes the Font size for the whole app, another one that changes to colour-blind mode (there are colours in the Stats pages), and the last one is the Dark Mode toggle. That’s the entire page.

And like - if the App is magical, why does it need Font Size and Colour-Blind Mode stuff? Shouldn’t it just be able to know I would need that? I dunno, it’s weird.

HELP PAGE

This one isn’t actually a page. When you press it, a little pop-up shows up in the middle of the screen and gives a tutorial for the page, explaining what everything is. The actual information is super basic and would just be a repeat of what I’m writing here for you, but I’m checking each page to make sure I’m not missing anything.

One weird thing is that it’s not just like a video game, ‘this is this, if you do X, Y happens’ kind of tutorial. It’s talking TO me, and is kinda snarky. The text doesn’t change if I open it multiple times, so it’s not CHANGING, it’s just generally got this tone of ‘You should probably already know this’ and occasionally is almost making a joke, but not quite. This comes back in the Perks, where it can be snarky in the descriptions sometimes.

INFORMATION PAGE

OK, so this page might actually have something useful, except it’s also like, WTF.

The top half of this page is a paragraph written directly to me (or I guess anyone who has the app? I always felt like it was TO me, but I also didn’t think anyone else had it until I found that boat cop lady had a perk already purchased on her.) It says:

“We’re sorry things haven’t been going well for you. No one deserves what you’ve been going through, but we’ve decided that you especially deserve more. Welcome to the Affection Multiplier App, where we help you navigate through the relationships in your life, helping you make a positive impact on the people around you and reshaping your reality for the better. Congratulations, have fun, and remember… You deserve to get back everything you give.”

I got the App in the week after my Mom died, so I always sort of assumed the message and the whole thing had to do with that, but maybe not? I was also dealing with not really having any friends other than you, and it’s not like I have any family other than my Dad, so I felt really alone going into our senior year. Especially because you had so MANY friends, but they always sort of kept me on the outside even though you tried to include me. I dunno. Maybe other people who have the App also got it because they were super lonely and downbad or whatever? Which is like, nice for them I guess, but also you’ll see that some of the stuff the App says it can do is SCARY, and hurt people hurt people. Y’know?

Anyways, there’s another paragraph below the main message.

“So how does this work?
The AMA is a tool that will help you understand your relationships and judge how close you really are with the people you interact with through statistics measuring Like (platonic affection), Love (intimacy and romantic affection), and Lust (sexual desire). These statistics can change based on your interactions with people, and the AMA will help you build positive relationships - it’s complicated, but think of it like a ‘x3’ multiplier to anything you do. If you bake someone a birthday cake and they would normally raise their Like score by 5 thanks to your caring, generous action, they will instead raise their Like score by 15.

We want you to have a full and wonderful life, so we want to give you rewards and tools to achieve your goals. As you raise the statistics of your relationships to certain thresholds, you will be awarded Points. These points can be accessed in the Perks Shop and used to purchase effects that will help achieve your ideal reality - changing things about yourself, the people you know, and even the world around you. Just remember, you can always turn a perk on and off, but you can’t refund them! Have fun :)”

So yeah, lots of stuff in there, though I think I already told you most of it in bits and pieces? I don’t think anything would be a big surprise. One thing I want to add that it doesn’t say here though - that example it gave with the birthday cake? It’s not as simple as that. Or I guess the amount of gain wouldn’t be simple. It’s not ‘Do X, Gain Y stats.’ It’s all relative to who the person is and where your relationship is at already. Like, if I just randomly make some vague, mild acquaintance a cake, it’s only a small gain because we don’t really know each other and that’s kind of a more personal, bigger gesture that might weird them out more than make them feel good. But a strong acquaintance or decent friend might REALLY appreciate a birthday cake gift because it’s not an everyday thing and they appreciate the time and effort and stuff. But then if I make my DAD a birthday cake, we’re already so high on the Like scale that it’s kind of expected, so doing that isn’t really a big deal. I know he still appreciates the cake, it just doesn’t generate any points because it’s harder to go from 85 to 86 than it is from 45 to 46.

Does that make sense? I think it makes sense.

Anyways, under that the only thing is like a copyright line where you would usually see who created or owns the app or whatever, right? Well instead of that it’s a little phrase in Latin - “Merere. Adapta. Muta.” I translated it and it’s something like Deserve, Earn or Merit -> Adapt, Modify, Change or Adjust -> Either the adjective Silent/Mute, a Roman Goddess of Silence, or a noun for Change or Moulting.

After that, in the same line of text, is some sort of weird little squiggly symbol that definitely isn’t something I can type from a keyboard, but it LOOKS like it’s the same font as everything else, and then ‘Magus, Myrddin and Morguein.’ I tried looking that stuff up but realised it was gonna be a rabbit hole and I wanted to keep making these notes, so we can cycle back to that. I can say that ‘Magus’ means like Sorcerer/Wizard/Magician and stuff. But I couldn’t find anything about the other two words that made sense to me on a quick check.

PERSONAL STATISTICS PAGE

OK, so the top of this page is the same as the last ones with the Icon, the settings button, etc.

Then, right below that is like a Character Profile box from a video game, and it’s me. With a picture and everything, except it’s not a picture that I ever took or anything, or even really looks like a Picture. It’s almost Uncanny Valley-ish and looks like a super-super-good 3d rendering of me that is almost too real to look real. Does that make sense? Anyways, it changes if I change - like, it’s aged to look the same as me since I first got the App, and if I get a haircut or something it changes to match the haircut. Oh, and it’s from the shoulders up normally, but if I do like a pinch-spread motion with my fingers on it (you know what I mean, right?) it zooms out and shows my whole body. Naked. Which is kinda creepy? I’ve kinda avoided doing that since forever ago.

Anyways, beside the profile rendering thing it’s got some basic info stuff. Height, weight, eye colour, etc. If it had dropdown menus it would almost be like a character creator, except it doesn’t and it isn’t. It’s like the END of a character creator screen when you’ve locked everything in. Anyways, if I tap on my profile it expands downward, showing off a list of the perks that I have. They show up in a list of the titles, and then for the ones that have a toggle it shows that, and I can tap on the title to expand for the full description. (I’ll get back to these in a second, I promise, but I’m trying to do this kinda organised so stay with me as I get the rest of the page done.)

Below the list of Perks I have it’s got a section called ‘Suggested Perks’ and then it shows little icons like video game utility bar buttons, and they only make sense like ¼ of the time to me, and it shows the titles of the suggestions. (I’ll tell you what it’s suggesting on the Shop page when I’m talking about Perks in general, I think it’ll make more sense that way.)

Below the suggested Perks is that same little weird squiggly symbol from the Information Page, but a little bigger, and no names or anything.

RELATIONSHIPS PAGE

So this is kinda the big meat and potatoes page of the App, but it’s also not really that complicated since it repeats the same stuff for everyone.

It obviously starts with that top bar; Icon, Settings, etc.

Then it has a ‘Most Recent’ section, which shows the profiles for the three most recent people I’ve interacted with in some way that the App would have influenced, and then below that is just a mega list of basically everyone I’ve met in person for an amount of time long enough to make eye contact or say hello or something. Like, it’s not every person I pass on the street or drive by or whatever, but if I were standing on a street corner and someone drove up and was waiting to make a turn and we made eye contact and I nodded hello, or they waved me to cross before they go, they would show up on the list.

I mentioned this before, but INTERNET interactions also don’t seem to trigger the App. Anything I do online is offline for it. Is that irony?

Anyways, that includes all social media. And we talked about why I got into modelling and doing stuff online, and we can talk about it again.

OK, so. The big mega list has a little Filter dropdown menu right at the top so that I can sort it by various tags (stuff like Gender, Physical distance from me, Alphabetical, Family, Sexual Partners, Sexual Orientation, etc.). Actually, now that I write that out, maybe that’s more significant than I thought - this thing knows the sexual orientation of people better than they know themselves, sometimes. And it also knows the distance between me and everyone on the list in real time? That’s, um… I’d say creepy, but also maybe just like… Government-level of creepy because I bet Facebook can do that too. Anyways, there’s also a Search bar, though it’s only for Names so I don’t need to scroll through the massive list to find someone specific.

If I scroll all the way to the bottom of the list it ends in another of those weird squiggle marks.

That’s the main breakdown of the page, so the main content of it are the Profiles. Each profile has a person’s full Name, including a nickname I might commonly think of them as, and a creepy-ish profile picture just like the one with the stats of me, except I can only do the zoom-out-naked thing on people I’ve actually seen naked. So like you are “Robert ‘Robbie, Tiger’ Blane”, I can do the zoom out thing on you, and then there are a few super basic statistics - gender, sexuality, relationship status with me. Gender does account for non-binary and trans and stuff, and I think the App must have gotten a software update or something because it seems to keep up with new terminology over the years as they become relevant. Like, I’ve seen ‘Asexual’ and ‘Demisexual’ right alongside Bi, Straight, etc. The relationship status part is always phrased how the other person thinks of our relationship, not how I do, though - so you show up as ‘Fiancee’, Cattie shows up as ‘Best Friend,’ but your sister shows up as ‘Sister-in-Law,’ because she’s always joked about that since we graduated high school. There are a lot of ‘Friends’ and ‘Friendly Face’ or ‘Friendly Acquaintance’ for people I don’t really know. ‘Stranger’ shows up a lot too if it’s just someone I made eye contact with, said a limited friendly hello to or interacted with in a super standard way (like, say, the secretaries at the Therapy place.)

Then below those points of information are the scores shown as horizontal graphs. The top one is Like and shows up in blue, the middle one is Love and shows up in white (green in Light Mode), and the bottom one is Lust in Red. They show the actual number at the end of the bar, and for a little while after a change they’ll show like an opaque area where an addition has happened. Usually they go from 0 to 100, but sometimes there’s someone who starts out REALLY disliking me or something, and then the starting bar kinda moves to the right and their space to track Negative amounts as well. I’ve only seen that a few times though, and almost all of them were in high school and college and we Mean Girl types.

If I tap a profile it expands a bit more, and the statistic bars give a bit more info about recent changes (previous amount, the amount changed, and the new amount.) They don’t say WHY it changed though. Then below the expanded stats bars is a list of Perks with the toggles that work the same way as on the Personal Statistics page, and under that is a similar Suggest Perks area with the icons and the titles, and I can tap those for a little more info, and it has tappable links over to the Perk Shop.

I’ll go over the perks when I talk about the Perk Shop like I said earlier, but this is a good time to give you some of the Relationship Info that I can see since you said you wanted to understand it more and stuff. So… yeah, here we go. Starting with everyone on the trip:

Robert ‘Robbie, Tiger’ Blane - Straight, Fiancee - 98% Like, 100% Love, 89% Lust (Before the trip you were at 100% Like, and that went to ???s after I told you everything, and then when it showed back up you were at 95% and it’s slowly been climbing. I’m still SO sorry! Also, DAMN Tiger, you’re horny. I’m gonna suck your cock SO good when you get home.)

Catherine ‘Cattie, Bestie’ Worndorf - Bisexual, Best Friend - 89% Like, 63% Love, 70% Lust (Like I said when I started these notes yesterday, Lust can go up and down a lot and since we’ve all been fucking together it makes sense her Lust is going up and down with me even if her focus is totally you.)

Lou-Anne ‘Terra, Terra-belle’ White - Straight, New Best Friend - 83% Like, 23% Love, 13% Lust (Just an FYI from what I’ve seen over the years, Terra’s Like with me went up way faster than normal during the trip and I think she was in a place/time in her life where she really needed some new friends, which is why she’s so close to Cattie already. Almost everyone else went up a little more close to normal, so aren’t as high.)

Wanda ‘Robbie’s Toy’ Berenson - Bisexual, Very Close Friend - 79% Like, 34% Love, 34% Lust (Wanda’s Lust has been way higher before, I assume she’s not exactly feeling horny in general right now though for obvious reasons. She’s also the other girl who shot up faster than normal on Like)

Rebecca ‘Becca, ReBelle’ Jones - Bisexual, Co-Girlfriend - 61% Like, 32% Love, 70% Lust

Ami ‘NickleSlip’ Xu - Bisexual, Friend - 57% Like, 13% Love, 24% Lust

Zenya ‘Zee’ Harrows - Bisexual, Trusted Sexual Partner - 53% Like, 25% Love, 88% Lust (HAH, Zenya is so horny :P I guess she did warn us.)

Leia ‘LeiaLandwalker’ Luci - Bisexual, Friend - 55% Like, 24% Love, 52% Lust

Heather ‘H34VEN’ Adams - Bisexual, Hated Rival - -13% Like, 0 Love, 63% Lust (LOL she wants to hatefuck me. NO SHOT, bitch! ALSO, the App says she’s Bi, not Lesbian! I wonder if that means if she wasn’t such a cunt she would have fucked you on the trip? Or maybe she’s only into like FemDom stuff with guys? OOH. What if she secretly has super dark fantasies about men? Like it’s the nasty stuff that really gets her off?)

Genine ‘Ginnie’ Persimmons - Bisexual, Friendly Acquaintance - 24% Like, 0 Love, 45% Lust

Baheela ‘Heels’ Malik - Straight, Friend-of-Friend - 22% Like, 0 Love, 4% Lust

Juan Carlos ‘JC’ Estabon - Straight, Friend-of-Friend - 34% Like, 2% Love, 51% Lust (I think this is kind of Golden Retriever energy, right? But WTF how am I ‘Friend-of-Friend’ with him? Like, does he see Terra as his friend more than his Ex? Or does he think you’re a friend, so I’m a- I don’t know. What a guy.)

Sherry ‘Cattie’s Little Sister’ Worndrof - Lesbian, Awkward Acquaintance - 12% Like, 0 Love, 28% Lust (Oof. Sherry is actually a full Lesbian. Maybe she just can’t admit that to herself, so she was going along with Ginnie when they were flirting and hooking up with those guys? Yikes.)

And here are some other people from here in Vegas and back home, just to help give some broader context and stuff. Obviously if you want to know about anyone else you just need to ask me.

Dayana Aguilar - Bisexual, Close Friend - 79% Like, 43% Love, 55% Lust (So we’ve been friends with Dayana for years, remember, and interact with her frequently. And she’s pretty much been my best friend outside of Cattie since we moved here to Vegas even if she’s your best friend too. I promise nothing has ever happened between us, OK?)

Vanessa St Claire - Demisexual, Casual Friend - 56% Like, 12% Love, 32% Lust

*Thomas ‘Tommy’ Baker - Gay, Good Friend - 71% Like, 20% Love, 0% Lust

*Theodore ‘Teddy’ McMasters - Gay, Good Friend - 65% Like, 17% Love, 2% Lust

Marie Blane - Straight, My Other Daughter - 32% Like, 68% Love, 5% Lust (So… your Mom loves me and that’s grown over time because of Us, but kinda doesn’t like me, which sort of makes sense considering I’ve always felt weird about trying to get close to her. Especially during my asshole cheater phase stuff.)

Eric Blane - Straight, Daughter-in-Law - 44% Like, 34% Love, 41% Lust (I guess like Father, like Son on appreciating my particular hotness? He’s never said anything or done anything, FYI.)

Antoinette ‘Toni’ Blane - Bisexual, Sister-in-Law - 78% Like, 49% Love, 88% Lust (Look, I swear nothing has ever happened between us. Not a single fucking sexual word, OK? But I think I might have accidentally become your sister's secret lesbian crush when we were all younger and that’s still kinda lying dormant in her.)

Joshua ‘Dad’ Pines - Asexual, Beloved Daughter - 86% Like, 87% Love, 0% Lust

So yeah - if you want to know about anyone else in particular, just ask me who and I’ll give you all the stats for them and stuff. I figured you didn’t really WANT to know everyone from our high school class or whatever right now, so I tried to keep the list relevant.

PERK SHOP PAGE

Alright, so up until this point everything has been weird, right? And I mean weird in an understandable-ish way. Like, the weird high definition render pictures are kinda strange, and all the information, but it’s not MIND BENDING. Even the whole main thing of the App ‘multiplying’ affection is kind of not that complicated.

Some of this stuff is going to be complicated, and twisted, and if you think too hard about them they might be scary.

So the breakdown of the page is pretty simple - if I enter it from the main page, it’s got that header bar with the icon, settings, etc., and then a ‘Perks Shop’ title, followed by a ‘Suggested Perks’ section that mirrors the ones from my Personal Statistics page. Then there’s a section right under it that’s ‘Daily Sale’ that refreshes every 24 hours - I don’t know how random it actually is because I don’t remember seeing any of the really big, weird ones in there, but I also haven’t been checking it every day for the past few years. Also, while I’m thinking of it, it refreshes at midnight no matter what Timezone I’m in, so could we game the system and fly ahead of the timezones, see multiple Midnights in a row and get a bunch of discounted perks? I don’t know, and that’s probably not actually worth testing.

Anyways. Below the Daily Sale is a dropdown menu with categories of Perks that kind of give a general ballpark of what they change. They are:

*- General

• Physical
• Psychological
• Societal*

So here’s the thing. When I open any of the categories, there’s like 100+ options in each one. And the only filtering or search functions is just to see them in Alphabetical by Title (and like you already know, the Titles can be a little silly so they don’t all just say what they do), and by Points Cost.

Which opens up the can of worms of how the shop actually works. So the App keeps track of all my relationships, right? Well, every time any of the stats hits a certain threshold, it gives me Points for the shop, and each Stat is worth a different amount. Lust is the easiest to get, so the first time I raise someone to 25 (or they start higher than it if they see me and immediately feel some kinda way) I get 1 point. Hitting 50 is 2 points, 75 is 3 points, 100 is 4 points. Like is the middle one - 25 for 2 points, 50 for 4 points, 75 for 6 points, 100 for 12 points. Love gives the most because it’s also generally the slowest to grow, because intimacy and stuff, right? So 25 for 4, 50 for 8, 75 for 12, and I’ve only hit it once (with you) but 100 gave me like a big bonus of 50.

So I have these points, and they show up on each Perk listing as part of the cost. Right now I’m sitting at 113 points after meeting all the girls on the boat weekend and everything, the leftovers after I bought you all those perks beforehand, and buying those perks for Wanda and the Cop lady. So a perk that costs 15 points is listed as ‘15 / 113’. Sometimes I feel like it’s daring me to buy some of them by doing it like that. Like it’s saying ‘Look it’s only this much of what you have!’

Just to finish off the process - if I select a Perk in the shop, it expands to show me the full Title, the Category, the full explanation of what it does (not that ‘full’ is always clear, like I said earlier some of it’s commentary is a little snarky and cryptic, and sometimes it talks in innuendo like different people are writing the descriptions) and then it shows if there is an Upgrade that can be bought for it, but it doesn’t say what the upgrade does or how much it costs until you buy the first one.

I’m not buying anything right now, but when I’ve bought something in the past I tap a ‘Buy Now’ button under the cost. Most perks are for a specific person so if I’ve accessed it through the Shop it gives me a pop-up with a search function to go through my Relationships to pick who to assign it to, with a trio of it’s best-guess suggestions - often times I’m at the top of the suggestion list if it’s something that would be considered ‘positive,’ but after that I assume it’s got some sort of algorithm or something. If I’ve accessed the perk directly from a ‘Suggested Perks’ list on my Stats page or someone’s Relationship profile it doesn’t ask who it’s for, and then gives an ‘Are you sure?’ confirmation before it spends the points and the Perk shows up in whoever’s profile.

OK, so that’s how it all works, now I’m just going to try and get through a bunch of these Perks while I’m still at home and have time. I might try to do more while I’m on the airplane to show you more when I’m back, but once I’m with Terra it might be weird to try and copy them out and not let her see them.

I’ll start with the ones that are already in our lives, and I’m going to skip some of the sassy stuff it says for the sake of getting more done before I leave. If you want to see the actual wording, I’ll go back and redo them when I’m home.

Perks I Have
*- Immuno Extremis (G for General) - Cost: 20 Points - Much lower chance to become sick, and immune to STDs

• Who Needs Breath Mints? (G) - Cost: 5 Points - Never have morning breath or bad breath from eating something.
• Maybe It’s Maybelline (G) - Cost: 12 Points - Never have a bad hair day.
• What day is it? (G) - Cost: 7 Points - Have a great memory for important dates.
• What’s a cup of Sugar between Friends? - Cost: 13 Points - Neighbours are more likely to see you in a positive light, forgive minor annoyances, and are willing to help you out with small accommodations. (Got this 1st year of college because of that super-bitch who lived next to me in the dorm, and the Floor RA on my other side. I’m pretty sure this is why I was able to get our neighbours NOW to go along with the parking spots agreement out front of our place though.)
• The Whole Banana (P for Physical) - Cost: 15 Points - No gag reflex
• Do Not Pass Go, Do Not Collect $200 (P) - Cost: 20 Points - I cannot get pregnant (Remember I can toggle this off though, Tiger! I can, just not with this on. And FYI, that birth control I’ve been carrying around with me in my purse? It’s been the same package for like 6 years. I love you, you pay so much attention to all the little things, but somehow you never noticed that?)
• Nice Package (P) - Cost: 8 Points - My cleavage and ass always look good in what I’m wearing. (I think if I got this for you it would make your bulge look good in everything - which it already does in all your swimsuits, but I figured you didn’t want your bulge being ‘attractively noticeable’ at work.)
• Natural Wingman (Psy) - Cost: 12 Points - You are a natural wingman, setting up your friends with other people, whether you’ve known them forever or you just met. (I actually got this one all the way back during our senior year in high school when I realised the App could make some girls kinda clingy, so I wanted to hook them up with other people instead of them trying to get with me more than I was comfortable with (which I shouldn’t have been doing, I’m sorry and I always will be) I’d kinda forgot about it for a while, but going through the list now I’m realising this was probably part of how everything got a little more wild on the trip than even I expected. I mean, you’re super hot and super lovable, Tiger, but not even I was expecting THAT many girls to end up begging for your cock).
• (I never bought any of the Social ones for myself or you because they are FUCKING SCARY. You’ll see.)*

Perks You Have
*- Immuno Extremis (same)

• Perfect Vision (G) - Cost: 20 Points - 20/20 vision, and much less likely to be irritated by mild chemical effects or allergens.
• Lucky in Love (G) - Cost: 57 Points - If you’re dealing with a randomised event (games of chance) you’ll never be the ‘big loser.’ If it could lead to a positive relationship encounter you’re the House, and the House always wins.
• Betcha Can’t Eat Just One (P) - Cost: 45 Points - Your cum is always delicious and creates an endorphin effect like junk food
• Midas Hands (P) - Cost: 15 + 15 + 25 Points - Original was your hands always feel good when you touch someone, then upgrades for even more warm feelings, and then always finding the best spots to touch on any person, and they definitely feel it.
• Satisfaction Guaranteed (P) - Cost: 69 Points (yes, really) - Your sexual stamina rises based on the number of partners you’re having sex with
• Shootin’ Blanks (P) - Cost: 20 Points - You cannot get someone pregnant. (This one is just like mine! Just toggle it off and you can knock up me, Zenya, Cattie, whoever… Is it weird I kinda get tingly thinking about your girls walking around the house preggers? Yeah, it’s kinda weird. Now I regret writing in pen. Also now I’m realising I may have not explicitly mentioned this one to you and I feel bad. I got it with the other ones before the trip when I was like ‘Robbie deserves to fuck hotties.’ Cause, I mean I wasn’t expecting RELATIONSHIPS, right, so I figured- oh, you get it.)
• Soul Sucker (P) - Cost: 10 + 15 + 20 Points - Original was Really Good Kisser (you already were, btw), then upgrades for kissing you makes people horny, and then memories of kissing you last longer in people.
• Tastes like Pineapple (P) - Cost: 12 - Your cum tastes fruity. (OK, so I might have doubled-up on this with the other Cum one and this was a waste of points.)
• Shootin’ Blanks (P) - Cost: 20 - You cannot impregnate someone.*

Perks I Bought On The Trip

• For Wanda - Glass Pussy (P) - Cost: 18 Points - Her orifices are perfectly sized for the person she’s having sex with
• For Sandra, the Cop Lady - But Make It Sexy (Psy for Psychological) - Cost: 37 Points - You are more likely to make sexual jokes and innuendo, and suggest sexual activities when appropriate.
• The Sandra one I didn’t buy but discovered on her - True Justice (G) - Cost: 10 + 25 Points - Consider all sides and act on what is right, not just the letter of the law, and upgraded into feeling a drive to take on and fix injustices on your own.

Suggested Perks by Person
*ME

• Normalized Fuck Buddies (S for Society) - Cost: 369 Points - Other people accept that you have sex with your friends. (Upgradable - This is one of the ‘This can’t be real’ scary ones. I mean, if this thing can just make EVERYONE be like ‘Oh, yeah, that’s Cassidy. She has sex with her friends and it’s totally normal’ then we’re talking mass hypnosis? Enchantment? And also now you can see what a bad fucking influence this fucking thing can be - it’s like it KNOWS that I want to be faithful to you and only you, and only have sex with the girls when you’re there too and say so, but then it dangles this in front of me like it thinks it knows better or something!)
• Supportive Family (Psy) - Cost: 25 Points - Your extended family is much more likely to back your decisions, especially relating to your love life.
• Normalised Polyamory (S) - Cost: 269 Points - Other people easily accept your polyamorous relationship. (Upgradable - This one is kind of more something we should think about, I guess. It could fix a LOT of issues for everyone if the world just accepts the Orgylationship. Also - notice it costs less than the Fuck Buddies one? Like, I do not get the pricing scheme at all.)*

*YOU

• Franchise Player (G) - Cost: 100 Points - You cannot be affected by the AMA for any User other than the User who purchased this Perk. (Um, so THIS is a new one to me - I’ve never seen it before. Maybe it’s only showing up now that we know there’s someone else out there? 100 is a LOT of points, usually that high a price or more are the really weird things. I’m tempted to get it right now for you, but I’m waiting so we can talk.)
• Supportive Family
• Lover’s Intuition (Psych) - Cost: 35 Points - You are hyper aware of your romantic partners’ moods. (Upgradable)*

*CATTIE

• Sister-Wife (Psy) - Cost: 30 Points - Enthusiastic about sharing romantic partner with the user.
• Supportive Family (Psy)
• It’s All Fun and Games (P) - Cost: 10 Points - Sex-related injuries like bruising, welts or rug burns fade away faster.*

*TERRA

• Sister-Wife (Psy)
• How do you KNOW if you haven’t tried? (Psy) - Cost: 88 Points - You become Bi-curious until you try out a same-sex encounter. It might change your mind… (SEE? This one is SO the App being an asshole. Like, I totally respect that Terra doesn’t want to fuck me or the other girls, and I’m happy for you two to be your own thing. But I also know that Terra is super hot and WOULD totally want to bang her if you were to say go and she wanted to. So this is like the App suggesting I give in to my evil side or something. UGH.)
• Glass Pussy (like Wanda - was she really THAT tight?)*

*WANDA

• Sister-Wife
• Supportive Family
• Fuck and Forget (Psy) - Cost: 42 Points - Effects of past traumas **** faster by having sex with someone you love.*

*BECCA

• Sister-Wife (Psy)
• Quicker Picker Upper (P) - Cost: 24 Points - A sexual quickie can give you a boost of energy as if you drank a strong coffee or energy drink.
• Fuck and Forget*

*AMI

• Sister-Wife (Psy)
• Supportive Family
• It’s Just Sex, No Big Deal (Psy) - Cost: 48 Points - Your sexual partners always take sex as a demonstration of your platonic care for them and the strength of your friendship, increasing the multiplier for Like scores in positive sexual situations. Can not be turned off. (Why does Ami need this, of all things? Everyone loves her already. I don’t get it.)*

*ZENYA

• Sister-Wife (Psy)
• Ready for Breeding (P) - Cost: 31 Points - You are significantly more likely to become pregnant (This one DEFINITELY wasn’t here until after we talked with her about far-future wants and her telling us she wants to be a Mom. I don’t know WHAT the App is telling me by putting it on the list. Is it trying to look out for her, or does it think her getting pregnant helps me somehow?)
• Sext Me One More Time (Psy) - Cost: 28 - Sexting and Phone Sex brings just as much pleasure to you as in-person sex. (Upgradable)*

*LEIA

• Sister-Wife (Psy)
• What What? In the Butt! (P) - Cost: 78 - You particularly enjoy anal sexual encounters (The App being an asshole again. It knows I have a thing for watching you plunder a booty, I think. Also, complete side-note, you should be a Pirate for halloween cause you’ll be plundering LOTS of booty this year :P)
• Air Bags Need Filling (P) - Cost: 46 - Your breast size will slowly increase over time (toggle off to stop growth.) (I love Leia’s boobs! Just because they’re small doesn’t mean they need to change. But also, I’d bet they are one of those things that she feels down about herself on, especially after a week like we had with all the big titty girls around.)*

*HEATHER (As an example of the MEAN things it can do)

• Goldicocks (P) - Cost: 66 - Any phallic object, whether a live penis, sex toy or something vaguely penis-shaped, you attempt to use for pleasure is either too big or too small to satisfy you. (This just sounds MEAN if it can really do this.)
• Air Bags Need Emptying (P) - Cost: 43 - Your breast size will slowly decrease over time (toggle off to stop decreasing). (OMG, can you imagine her wondering how the hell her implants are getting smaller or sprung a leak or something?)
• Open for Business, Always (Psych) - Cost : 369 - You are dedicated to a Free-Use Lifestyle, no matter what. (I think this is literally saying that it makes everyone just OK with using her as a sex toy or something whenever they want which SOUNDS hella deserved by her, but also WTF the App can do this to a person!?! Fucking SCARY!)*

*DAYANA

• Refined Palate (G) - Cost: 15 - Your sense of taste and smell is particularly acute and accurate.
• Do As I Say, Not As I Do (Psych) - Cost: 74 - Your commands, when repeated multiple times to an individual, inspire compliance. (I’m gonna assume this one has more to do with her at work? She’s always talking about how she has to tell people to do the same shit over and over, so maybe it’s that kinda thing where it’ll help her not have to repeat herself constantly.)
• Sister-Wife (See!? This is the shit I’m talking about. Like, I know you and her haven’t done anything, and I promise me and her haven’t. So why the fuck is the App like ‘Hey, winkwink-nudgenudge’? Not that I wouldn’t want her to join us if you wanted that! I mean, it’s Dayana, she’s great, but we haven’t talked about it so… you know what? We can talk about this some other time when it’s not just me writing like a crazy woman.)*

*VANESSA

• You’ve Gotta Try It, I Know You’ll Like It - Cost: Variable - You become interested in a particular kink. (I’ve seen this one before and it’s got an extra dropdown menu where I can pick what kink, but this time it’s grayed out and not showing an actual score, so I don’t know what the deal is.)
• Lubricatious - Cost: 19 - Your natural sexual lubrication is more water resistant than normal. (WHY? Fuck, I wish it would tell me why it suggests things. Is this a joke about you saving her from drowning? Or does she really like shower sex? Pool sex? I don’t knoooow.)
• Sister-Wife (AGAIN. This fucking APP.)*

*TOMMY

• Make Yourself at Home - Cost: 19 - You instinctively and effortlessly act as an excellent host
• They Speak With Their Fans - Cost: 43 - You are very aware of and in tune with all non-verbal communication such as body language, minor facial tics and socio-cultural gestures. (This has got to be a work-based one like Dayana, right? Unless he’s secretly trying to become a mesmerist or something? OMG, Tommy as a stage hypnotist would be hilarious.)
• Teenage Dream (S) - Cost: 82 - You always look the epitome of a fresh faced, youthful, totally fuckable version of yourself, and you remind people of that high school crush they had way back when… (OK, this is TOTALLY something Tommy would kill for, the horny twink that he is.)*

*TEDDY

• I Do Yoga - Cost: 23 - You are particularly flexible. (LOL. I snorted so hard when I saw this.)
• We’re Here To Pump… You Up - Cost: 48 - Physical exercise is 3x more effective for you. (Makes sense. Would make his bodybuilding competition stuff so much easier for him)
• Filling the Trunk - Cost: 44 - Your ass will slowly increase in size over time. Toggle off to stop growing. (I guess he’s self-conscious about his ass? I dunno.)*

So… yeah. That’s a bunch of info and now my hand hurts because this is more handwriting than I’ve done since… college? Maybe high school? Like, Tiger, my fingers are CRAMPING. And Cattie also thinks I’m REALLY into journaling now, hahaha. But for real, I think you can see from that whole list examples of the little stuff all the way up to the big, scary WTF stuff. This barely scratches the surface on the overall list though, honestly. Like there are SO MANY. And some of them are just as scary.

*- A Mind of its Own - “Your primary genitalia tends to have a mind of its own and may encourage you to do things. Don’t worry, it can’t actually talk… probably…”

• Charm Person - With a smile and a wink you can convince someone, briefly, that you’re a trustworthy friend. They might become suspicious of you later.
• Have parts, Will travel - “Your genitals become removable, while remaining functional and still being metaphysically connected to you. Ship that penis across the country, send your man on his business trip with your pussy.” (U WUT MATE?!)
• It’s Not Cheating If… - Romantic partners don’t see your sex with others as threatening to their own relationship with you. (I hope this is some proof that I’m being truthful about not trying to influence you to forgive me! But also this is just like Mind Control, right?)
• That’s Not How I Remember It - “Someone who has had an awkward or regrettable sexual encounter with the User is now convinced that it was mildly positive or comedic.”
• Do Not Disturb - “When you lock a door in any way, you can decide that it's 'Staff Only' and you decide who's staff. Everyone other than people within your eyeline when you lock the door ignore it and any sounds coming from behind it.”
• Double Dog Dare - People are compelled to complete dares you give them. You are compelled to complete the dares you are given. (Like, this is SO DANGEROUS!?!)
• Emperor’s Clothes - People treat you as if you’re dressed perfectly for every occasion no matter what you are wearing. Or not wearing.
• I’m Accepting Oral Arguments at this Time - When people want to argue with you, they ask you if you want to debate, or if they should use oral sex to convince you. (UM.)
• Normalized Exhibitionism - When you are around, everyone accepts that nudity and sexual activity is part of everyday life. (OK, this one sounds kinda fun, but also could be YIKES.)*

There’s SO much more, but Cattie and I are packing and leaving in like 30min and I might legit need to ice my hand.

I love you, Robbie. SosososoSOSOSOSO fucking much. I’m so sorry I kept all this from you for so long, and that I did everything I did. God, I need to try not to cry or Cattie will ask what’s going on. OK. I love you, I can’t wait to see you soon. It’s gonna kill me not to call you and hear your voice.

I LOVE YOU, ROBBIE BLANE.

XOXOXOXOXO
Your Mary Jane
Cassidy.

“Holy fuck,” I muttered to myself.