Butt of the Joke

"You know what? I'm really not a very good comedian, that's why I have to make cheap digs about people's appearance. I mean, Wednesday Addams? Come on, she's obviously heard that one a thousand times already. Is that really the best I can do? Well, luckily I do have some actual talents, like ventriloquism. For you to get the full effect of this next trick I'm going to have to completely undress though!"

It was at this point that Laura discovered that it was not just her voice she had lost control of but, temporarily at least, her actions as she stripped naked. Naturally there was a lot of cheering and whooping from the crowd that drowned out the murmurs of disapproval.

"Wow, that was the biggest reaction I got all night. I guess if I want to perform for a living I'd be much better off as a stripper than a comedian! Anyway, it's time to show you my ventriloquism trick!"

Laura bent over and placed the microphone close to her butt. Then to her complete astonishment, she found her voice was now coming out of her butthole.

"There, seeing as I talk out of my ass anyway this seems pretty appropriate!"

There was a mixed response in the audience. A few people found it funny, but others were confused by this increasingly bizarre and inappropriate act. Laura's voice continued to come out past her butt-cheeks as she carried on.

"Well, I guess now I've demonstrated my one talent there is no need for me to stay naked up here like a cheap slut. And since I'm such a fucking fashion expert I'm sure I'll have something really awesome to wear for the rest of my act. Oh, in fact I can see it now!"

Laura turned round to see a bag had mysteriously appeared at the back of the stage with "Laura's Funny Costume" written on it. She dreaded to think what she was about to be putting on.