Bittersweet

Were it not for the restoration of his interface after leaving the barrier – and with it, Evellyn's recently added time and date function – John would have had no perception of the passage of time as he sat across from Katricia in that van. No words were spoken, little movement was made, and were it not for his anger making such feelings of social awkwardness less important, John would have had a difficult time occupying himself well enough to avoid Katricia's unwavering eyes.

Well, it might have been difficult to occupy his conscious mind. His subconscious was more than happy to keep playing both of John's prior encounters with Himiko over and over in his head. John had only encountered her twice in the flesh... yet she had left deeper marks on him than most of the people he called his friends within the Abyss. Harsher, more ragged marks, to be sure... but ones he could not escape all the same.

The feeling of her embedding her hand within his chest as she implanted the Shard of Bishamonten. The sight of her effortlessly defending herself from Seras' weapon, only to impale Seras on a spear of ice a few moments later. The nauseating sight of Willow's frozen corpse rearranging itself to form a harrowing message inserted itself occasionally, breaking the monotony of rage and wrath with a nice burst of nausea that sank into his bones.

A part of his more conscious mind always wondered if that was the fate that awaited him... but that was a thought he could not afford the mental energy to sustain long. When he could focus his thoughts long enough to distract himself from the repeated scenes in his head and the mesmerizing rhythms of the wheels on the road and the occasional bump, John was doing his best to pour over what little he knew of Himiko and try to prepare himself for what lay ahead.

"We only have a short time left before we arrive at our destination," Katricia interrupted, after what John's interface told him had been twenty-seven minutes. "If you wish to use me, you should act quickly."

"Why are you even reminding me about that?" John asked, annoyed and baffled at her attitude but grateful for the reprieve from his own thoughts. "What, are you disappointed I've turned you down? Did your ego take a hit?"

"I don't care whether you do or do not make use of the comforts provided to you," Katricia said, her voice still with that practiced, level tone. "I only care that you are aware of them and make your choice freely. Those were my instructions, and Lady Himiko does not tolerate failure."

"How about you do something useful instead. Tell me, what is Lady Himiko like? What can I expect when I meet her? What will I-"

"I was specifically instructed not to answer any questions you have about our Lady. I do not have the authority to provide you the information you seek."

John grit his teeth, but said nothing. It seemed Himiko wanted to keep him in the dark... in spite of how eagerly she seemed to be anticipating his arrival, she was not providing a very welcoming environment. John spent the rest of their trip in silence, his mind wandering to dark places as he contemplated what awaited him, and what – if anything – his trip would actually serve to accomplish.

John's mind did not settle for the remainder of their trip. His thoughts continued to wander until another message popped up in front of him, shining and urgent.

You have semi-willingly entered a Barrier!
Nakamura Domain Barrier - Palace Barrier Passive Effects:
-All Spells blocked for inhabitants under Level 500 not serving the Nakamura Dynasty.
-All Enchanted items below Legendary Quality are disabled when possessed by mages not serving the Nakamura Dynasty.
-All transportation or movement spells have been disabled for those below level 500 not serving the Nakamura Dynasty.
-All extradimensional spaces belonging to those below level 500 not serving the Nakamura Dynasty have been locked.
-Damage dealt by those serving the Nakamura Dynasty doubled against those below level 500.

John tried not to let the fear and surprise show on his face at the sheer power of the buffs and debuffs on display before him, but judging by the flash he noticed in Katricia's eyes, he had failed. He couldn't say that he was surprised – it was all he could do to avoid actually gaping as he stared at the levels. Of course he had always expected Himiko herself to be impressive, but for even her Barrier to be so incredibly powerful... a chill ran down John's spine for a moment as he tore his eyes away from the message.

"By Gaia... even if I had never Reincarnated I would barely be around half that level, how powerful is Himiko? Who is working for her that can erect this Barrier, and allow her soldiers to conjure ones nearly as damning? I can't- no, calm yourself, John. This changes nothing. You've been assuming that she was powerful enough to end your life with a single spell since you set out on this quest... putting a number to that knowledge shouldn't change things at all."

Logic could only comfort him so well against such staggering proof of how out of his league he was, but John didn't have long to contemplate the implications. Only a few seconds after John saw that message, Katricia slowly stood up from her seat with the purposeful movement of a trained warrior, her eyes never leaving him. She offered him her open hand as she spoke firmly.

"We are here. Lady Himiko is awaiting your arrival; let us not keep her waiting."

John nodded and slowly stood to his feet while ignoring Katricia's outstretched palm, casting his eyes between her and the doors to the carrier. As soon as he stood, with the quiet sound of an airtight seal breaking, the doors slid open at last. John was surprised to see that there were no guards outside the vehicle waiting for them, but his attention soon turned from the absence of warriors to the rather breathtaking sight before him.

Directly outside the vehicle, only a few feet away, a massive stone staircase began that led upwards at such an angle and to such a height that John felt as if he were ascending toward heaven merely by letting his eyes follow the stairs upward. The stairs went up nearly a hundred feet, reaching well above the natural terrain surrounding them, but the stone formations were surprisingly sparse and well-hidden among the masterwork of landscaping that colored and spaced out the staircase.

Every twenty feet or so along the lengthy staircase, a new plateau formed, with trees, vines, and flowers blooming expertly across them, carefully cultivated to hide away as much of the stonework as it could, and to paint the rising landscape in as many blushing shades of pink, green, and white as the eye could perceive. John's eyes nearly became lost multiple times as they joyously travelled over the hills and valleys of a hundred cherry blossom trees upon one level, a clustering of white-rose bushes on another, and eventually – after meandering across evergreens and maples and beautiful fields of camellias, John's eyes fixated on a massive, red, wooden gate that stood atop the distant end of the staircase, framing the doorway of what must have surely been a palace, but which John couldn't glimpse more than a fraction of through the dense greenery surrounding it.

"It is an impressive sight, isn't it?"

Katricia's words reached John through his reverie, but he made no comment on them. Instead he offered a quick nod, which set Katricia into motion up the stony staircase. John followed after her cautiously, eyes constantly glancing to the sides as if expecting an ambush. But the multiple plateaus and their varied and endless shrubberies concealed no assassins – at least, none that he could find. No stealthy attackers, no guards eyeing him for the slightest error, no mercenaries awaiting an order to kill. John found only a strangely zen garden, one which contrasted so starkly with the cold, impatient fear inside of him that it only served to make him all the more anxious for what awaited him at the top of the staircase.

As they approached the top of the stairs, they eventually passed enough of the meadows and forests below that John was able to get a more proper look at what he assumed was Himiko's palace.

John counted eight stories to the building, in what was a surprisingly modern design for a home, compared to the Order's almost colonial manor or the stonework that surrounded them. It was a blend of stone, wood, and well-painted and decorated cement, forming a modernized and well-lit mixture of surfaces that stretched the better part of a mile in either direction to John's left and right. Multiple walls of the building were glass, yet he saw no movement or other signs of life within – only long hallways and still, almost lifeless rooms, as if untouched by time or habitation.

Katricia eventually came to a stop, only inches before reaching the front doors, a pair of impressive and solid metal doors that had been painted red with a texture and staining that made them look rather like wood from a distance. The doors were imposing, almost the width of a small room in themselves, and their distant peak arched high above. Katricia glanced over the archway before them with an impassive indifference before she turned her eyes to John, meeting his expectant gaze with a certainty of purpose.

"This is Lady Himiko's personal home and her most private of palaces. She does not meet any save the other Deities here," Katricia said, glancing toward the doorway. As if on command, one of the red-painted doors began to slowly and silently open, only enough to let someone walk inside despite their massive size. Then Katricia turned her eyes back to John.

"I am not allowed inside. My Lady has made an exception for you... do not keep her waiting. These grounds are guarded exceptionally carefully. If you try to leave, you will not get far." With only that, Katricia turned to walk away.

"That's it? You aren't even going to tell me why I've been brought here?"

"That was not a part of my duties... that is something she intends to explain to you herself," Katricia said simply, without even bothering to turn her head as she began to descend the stairs once more. John was left alone at the precipice of the home, the open doorway in front of him now almost ominously shadowed.

"Well..." John thought to himself, letting his eyes travel over the exterior of the building one last time. "This isn't really what I was picturing... but I don't know what I expected to begin with. Guess this is it. Whatever happens from here on out..."

John twisted the rings on his fingers, one by one. They couldn't connect him across the space between the old world and the new – he had been too terrified of bridging that gap once more. But the familiar feeling brought him comfort as he strode forward, as though the words of his lovers were still able to comfort him.

"I will support you always, Father."

"A Guardian never gives up!

"Just because you're a perverted little shit doesn't mean I won't be here for you."

"I'll do my best to make you proud, Master!"

The thought of what they'd say brought a smile to his head... then a chill, as one more voice layered itself over them, just as he stepped over the threshold into Himiko's palace, into a room of red walls with golden trim, and a similarly decorated tile floor.

"You taught me to fight, so never stop fightin'! Never! I love you so much, John!"

Were it not for the effects of the Barrier, John's blade would have already been in his hand – but his fingers clutched only air and his own flesh as he came to an abrupt halt just inside the entrance. Thankfully, after a few moments, the sound of the door closing behind him shook him out of the blurry red flashbacks those words filled his mind with.

"Finally... I have you all to myself."

The words came from directly ahead of John, despite the emptiness of the entry room he found himself in. Glittering crystals filled John's vision, floating in the room and so sparse at first he thought he was imagining them entirely. After a few seconds they coalesced and thickened, and he realized that they were not illusions, nor were they magic – they were tiny crystals of ice, slowly growing as the temperature in the room rapidly dropped.

"I have awaited the awakening of that Shard since first I gave it to you..."

At the center of the room, where the crystals were thickest and the chill seemed to emanate from, a darkness seeped up from beneath the tiles, covering them in a blackness so deep it seemed an infinite void. Slowly the darkness grew, bubbling up and taking shape as a very feminine, very familiar figure appeared before John, the pale colors of flesh that formed from the shadows directly contrasted by the dark hair and flowing dress of pure shadow itself that fell down her frame.

"I have spent every day since then dreaming of this moment. The one in which you would finally return to me with that fire in your eyes and an even greater inferno raging within your soul..."

Himiko stepped forward as the last of the darkness receded, not disappearing but rather ascending to join the rest of the hazy, magical shadows that formed her dress. Her feet stepped once again on plain tile, the sound of her bare feet crossing the tiles almost inaudible over the noise of the silver manacle that hovered around her right foot slowly dragging across them, the short length of chain jingling and rustling as she brought herself ever closer to John.

"And after all this time, as much as I've awaited this day, my only desire... the one single thing I wish for most right now..."

Himiko's path was outlined and traced behind by a trail of ice, her very presence raising up small mountains and valleys of pure ice as she strode up. John found himself similarly frozen, albeit less literally, as he watched the woman approaching him. Thanks to the Barrier he could not even Observe her, much less prepare himself as she strode the last few feet between them and reached out one hand almost tentatively, slowly bringing her skin into contact with his.

The Asian woman's flawless skin was cold in a way that cut him to the bone. The fire that had been burning in John's chest every day for the last year of his life suddenly felt subdued, some form of that passive anger and righteous fury becoming blunted, as if felt from a distance. Veins of ice ran along his face, fractured, melted, and formed again where her fingers touched him... and as Himiko's fingers stroked his cheek slowly, almost lovingly, a deep frown crossed her face. Her lips quivered for a moment, and her steady voice had an uncertain waver to it as she spoke.

"...is that we had not been driven to meet so soon."

Himiko stepped forward suddenly then, her slow and purposeful stride broken by a movement so fast John did not realize it had happened until he felt the pressure on his chest. John tensed, bracing for pain, for a wound, for a spear of ice to pierce him or for nails to be driven through his heart... but he felt none of that. Only a deep chill and an uncomfortable realization as he looked down to see Himiko hugging him. Hugging him... and crying. Beads of ice formed at the corners of her eyes, slowly growing only to fracture into dust and fade into the air. She had tucked her head against his shoulder, but as he gazed down upon her, she turned her head up just enough for him to see the redness in her eyes and the quivering of her gaze as the first sob racked her body.