Best trade deal in the history of trade deals

“My apologies for being so frank, Sir, but what is this nonsense?”, Femto asked with a chuckle. “I believe we had a deal?”

“Did we?” I replied nonchalantly. “I don't remember signing any contract.”

“Oh that's cute, very cute. Allow me to restate the current contract then, Sir.” The devil smiled. “In 11 hours, 5 minutes and 43 seconds I will claim your soul. Your only option to prevent that is to exchange your soul for hers.”

“See, I am having an issue with that last part”, I said while putting my hand on Beatrice's head, patting her. She absolutely hated that. Good. “I just don't think that is a fair trade. Beatrice's soul is obviously far more valuable then my own. In order to keep this trade fair and balanced I decided to offer you something more equal in value.”

“You decided?” Femto looked at me as if she currently was uncertain to laugh out loud, kill me on the spot or do both “You think this is a game?”, Femto finally settled. “Yeah, no shit Bea's soul is about a hundred times more valuable then whatever your packing. You don't have a choice in the matter.”

“Now, now, there is no reason to lose your temper. Remember, the customer is always right.” I gave my most patronizing smile.

“I am terrible sorry. The contents of the contract are noon negotiable, Sir”, Femto stated through a mask of icy courtesy. “If you wish to launch a complaint, our customer service line is available 24/7. We will have an agent ready for you within the century.”

“I am afraid that is simply unacceptable. Can I speak to your manager?”

“Ok, Karen. How about you cut the act and get to the point?”

I smiled and decided to oblige her. “Beatrice soul's stays here, but I give you something else from her. Her entire magic ability. That is what you really want anyways, right? Well, it is all yours.”

That actually got a laugh out of Femto. “Sir! Have you considered a career chance to standup comedy? Because, oh boy, that one was a zinger! Yes, her magic is important, but it's her soul that ties it all together! Without that, the value sinks dramatically.”

“Is that so?” I lifted the witch’s hat as if to inspect what’s underneath. Beatrice responded by angrily pulling her hat back down. “But it is still a tremendously great deal for you, right?”

“I grow tired of this, mortal. You are not in control here. You do not get to make the deals. I take Bea's soul or yours. Choose.”

“Oh dear”, I shrugged. “In that case I choose neither.”

The room turned dark.

“You miserable mortal! I will **** you for all eternity! I stick you into a small box and let imps fuck your mouth and ass until you desire the sweet release of madness! Then I slowly strip your body of its skin and repeat the process. You will know nothing but agony until time itself dies!”

“My, if it comes to this”, I readied my dirks. “You leave me ****. Lucky me, that you are rather weak right now.”

“Another devil will collect your soul”, Femto immediately stated. “Killing me will change nothing”

“For me”, I conceded. “I think it will change quite a few things for you, though. You do enjoy living, right?”

“I thought you weren’t that much of a scumbag”, the devil growled.

“As it happens, I lied. It’s a thing we human like to do.” I smiled at her. “It’s a hustle, sweetie.”

Femto screeched.

It was an inhuman sound that chilled my very soul to the core. Even Beatrice looked shaken. Did I perhaps push too far? In theory, she should take the deal, but what good is theory when it comes to devils?

Then the shrieking abruptly stopped, replaced with an eerie silence and perhaps even worse, a very wide grin on Femto’s face. “Sir. I admit it, you have outdone me. I acknowledge you as quite the shrewd negotiator. I admire that, really, I do!”

Alright, what’s her angle?

Femto showed me her best customer service smile “However, Sir, I simply must ask: Have you considered Bea's feelings on the matter?”

I narrowed my eyes. “What do you mean?”

“Allow me to paint you a picture.” She actually did. In front of the devil appeared a crude drawing of what appeared to be Beatrice begging for food on a street corner. Then the slide changed to an image of the witch getting fucked in both holes by a bunch of strangers, followed by her getting peed on by a Doggie.

“Ok, I get the picture.”

“Suppose I take her magic”, the devil continued her pitch. “Bea would be doomed to live out the rest of her life as a miserable, insignificant existence. But if I take her soul.” The picture changed again. Now Beatrice was sporting two horns and was laughing haughtily while sitting on a throne. “Why, she has a chance of becoming a devil herself!”

That was the first time I heard any of this.“Is that true?”

“Would I lie to you?”, the devil grinned. “But don’t take my word for it. Let’s ask the witch in question!”

Fine. I allowed Beatrice to speak, commanding her to only tell the truth.

“Yes”, the witch instantly replied. “It’s very rare but it did happen in the past.”

“How rare are we talking about?”

“Oh, lets not sweat the small stuff”; Femto interjected. “Go big or go home is what I always like to say. And besides, what Bea wants is obvious.”

At this point Beatrice had managed. to regain her composure. “My magic is my soul. It is what defines me. If these are my choices, I gamble it on becoming a devil in a heartbeat.”

“See?”, Femto smiled. “Besides, it's not that me snatching her soul will result in any torment for Bea. Worst case she will simply get absorbed and become part of me. It is far more preferable then the inhumane **** you have envisioned.”

“I have your word”, I asked. “You will really not torment her?”

The devil gave a surprisingly sincere nod. “On my honor as a devil. Unless I choose otherwise Soul Absorption is a completely painless procedure. Forgive me for being so forward, Sir, but ignoring the wishes of the person in question would be tremendously uncouth. Monstrous even. Quite frankly, you are better than that.”

“I am ready”, Beatrice stated, her voice calm as ice. “Do it.”

I did not consider this. Beatrice made her choice crystal clear. Do I have the right to interfere? It seems like this way everyone will get what they want.

But still...

Can I really give up her soul?