A job is a job is a job

JOB (Just Obey Boss) thats what my superior told me at my first day in police...... my job was what one would call slavery...not on me but me doing it to others.... ,i am a decent detective but im rookie so no one listens to me ....and sometimes they would just catch someone innocent just to fill their records ..... i ..bound to my job just watch and help them do more of it ..... i wish my superior's were here in my place............stuck

BRUCE- "ON A FUCKING TREEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

MIL- "waaaaah no please not my tail !!!! Help me!!!!!!!"

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I joined the guild... and since every one was boasting about me like how cool i am or i must be very strong.... I in that stupidity took the most difficult quest possible in my rank (G) , which was to kill these annoying corp destroying monsters a.k.a 《lumpchops》

https://images.app.goo.gl/STE8FNA6Q2mfNfy6A

These fucking shits look cute but if you get to know them you wish you could put them in a shredding machine

BRUCE- "I'm never fucking gonna take a quest that involves them!!!!!!!!!!!"

MIL- "help!!!!!!!!!"

She is just running around circles in tree I'm on while a lumpchop is biting her tail .............

*crunch crunch *

BRUCE- "huh?.........?! They're eating the fucking tree!!!!!!!!!"

BLAIL- {"Heav hooooooo......."}

*badaaaam!!!!!!!!!*

BRUCE- "Mil run towards the city we're abandoning the quest!!!!"

MIL- "what?! But you'll be penalised!!"

BRUCE- "Whatever just go!!!!!!!"

MIL- "allright!!!!!!"

BRUCE- "hey!!! don't leave me alone!!!"

I somehow grabbed her tail

BRUCE- "gotcha!!!!"

I shouldn't have

BRUCE- "Wait! slow down! slow down! ouch ! ouch! ouch!"

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15 minutes later

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Lying on the ground in far away forest making ione thing clear to myself...

BRUCE- "never grab a centaur's tail ..........."

Yup...

MIL- "oh god i think we are in trouble i can't find the map.."

And she is supposed to be border security......

BLAIL- "{i pity you}"

BRUCE- "{is devil watching me right now ?}"

BLAIL-"{yes why?}"

BRUCE-" *inhale* *exhale* deep enhale* YOU FUCKING SON OF A BITCH!!!!!!!!!!!! IF I SEE YOU I WILL FUCKING SHOVE A UMBRELLA IN YOUR ASS AND THEN OPEN IT!!!!!!!!! AND TWIST IT UNTIL IT BREAKS!!!!!!!"

BLAIL- "I'm sure he heard that"

BRUCE- "*huff* *huff* *huff* mil give me your bag I'll try to look for map ..........mil?.....mil?"

I turn around and see that she is lying on ground while some bubbly stuff is comming out of her mouth

MIL- "mil what happened?!?!"

BLAIL- "{she got shocked from your scream and got ****}"

BRUCE-"{..............when i came to this town she was standing at right side entrance of gate, right?}"

BLAIL-"{ yes why}"

BRUCE- "{i should have asked the one is left side , she was looking way more smarter then this dumb donkey......but the beauty tricked me....... damn shit}"

BLAIL-"{ no use is mourning over it go wake her up}"

BRUCE- *sigh*

I walk towards her she is lying on ground and bubbly stuff have stopped...her face is shining over sun , she is still wearing her duty uniform but some party are torn due to lumpchop bites , *sigh*

BRUCE- "how can something so beautiful be so stupid"

While thinking about it i took her bag pack and tried to find something useful..... the result of my search was

BRUCE-" 1-a forest map, 2-monster shaped trail rations , 3-monster guide, 4- 3×potions bottles (low grade), 5- pieces of clean clothes socked with medicinal water"

This is stuff i found useful and others was

BRUCE- 1-...a set of 5 tubes each one with different textures on inside...., 2- 20 bottles of a pink fluid, so slippery one could use it to as grease, 3-.....??????......a magazine whose titles says 《 cuckload issue #56》, 4-a container with a liquid that moves on its own and at last 5- sterile pills .....thats what the packets says"

BLAIL-"{ onhole, lubes , prono mag , slime dildo and pregnancy avoidance pills}"

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..................... i put back useful stuff and dug a hole and then bury everything else.........

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I tried to wake mil in each and every possible way shacked her, screamed at her ear , tickled her and even pinched on her boobs

BRUCE- "this dumb donkey is sleeping like a bear !!!!!!!!!!!!!"

BLAIL- "{hey}"

BRUCE- "{what}"

BLAIL-"{ i know its not easy on you but i think we are surrounded}"

BRUCE- "huh?"

BLAIL- "{by monsters}

BRUCE- "huh??"

BLAIL- "{they are poisonous}"

BRUCE- "huh???!"

BLAIL- "{they are 50 in total}"

BRUCE- "huh!?!!?!?!?"

BLAIL- "{run~☆}"

I grabbed mil by her tail and ran at full speed while dragging her all the way and i have no fucking idea where to go .. i looked back and saw a group of dilophosaurus is chasing us

BRUCE- what the fuck are these things doing here!!!!!this is supposed to be a fantasy world!!!!

BLAIL- "{they are called poison shooters}"

BRUCE- "whats with that name!?.....!?!?!?!?!?!"

As soo as i said that One if that bastard jumped and started spitting acid

BRUCE- "its a perfect name!!!"

BLAIL- "{there is a cave a lil far in you left I'll use Illusion , ise that moment to hide there}"

BRUCE- "why you didn't do that before !!!!!"

BLAIL- "{we'll talk about that later!!}"

as soon as she said that, a purple mist appeared and surrounded the those poi... nah I'll just call them spitters , I took mil to that cave and literally threw her inside

BRUCE-" huff huff huff finally we are safe ....huh?"

I see that some of her tail hair are in my hand ..... damn that must have hurt ............

BRUCE- "well maybe its perfect tume to use these potions"

I took a potion and tried to let liquid slide in theugh her throat....

MIL-"damn she's not drinking it or its not working"

BLAIL- "{try to give it to her mouth to mouth like in those movies or anime}"

BRUCE- "{what if she gets mad ...}"

BLAIL- "{im sure she won't}"

BRUCE- "ok!"

I ain't nice enough, why would miss a chance to kiss a girl!

BRUCE- "yum yu-boghho!?!?"

BLAIL- "punch inna face"

MIL- "who is it?!"

BRUCE- "hitsssss meeee youuuu histupiiiid........"

MIL- "huh ?! Wait did you use that potions on me it causes hullanications for a limited period of time !!"

Wait....... while trying to make her drink the potion, i drinked , cuz she punched me.....

MIL- "you allright?"

No I'm not!!!

BRUCE- "yessss...."

MIL- "you sure?"

BRUCE-" yesssssss......."

MIL- "ok good uh , where's my bag?"

BRUCE- "herrrrrrrrr"

MIL- "ah thanks! uh wait why its so light ....?....?!"

BRUCE-"......"

MIL-"......"

BRUCE-".........."

MIL-" B Bru Bruce why is my stuff???"

BRUCE-"......"

BLAIL- "{inside Bruce mind}"

https://youtu.be/A67ZkAd1wmI

MIL-" Bruce!!!!!!!!! Bruce! Bruce! Bruce ! Bruce! Bruce! Bruce! Bruce! Bruce! Bruce! Bruce! Bruce! Bruce!"

BRUCE-" .............. u u uua uuaa "

MIL- "you asked for this!!!!!!*baaaammmmm*"

BLAIL- "{another inna face"}

BRUCE-" umm ?..?."

I somehow regained consciousness ....my face felt wierd , i touched it

BRUCE- "aaouuch!!!!! Ouch! Ouch! Ouch!"

MIL-" HEY WHERE IS MY STUFF!!!!!!!"

she shaking me , crying sobbing nonstop

BRUCE- "it fell on the way when i was dragging you here!!!!"

MIL-" why did you left my stuff you could have left me but why my stuff!!!!!"

BRUCE- "what the fuck are you saying!!"

I slapped her

MIL- "ouch!!! Why-"

Another

MIL- :what the hel"

Another

MIL- "ok stop! stop! please ! Enough"

BRUCE- "you back to normal?"

MIL-".................yes..................."

BRUCE- "Allright now lets think of a way back to town ,.........??"

I looked outside

BRUCE-" its dawn........"

MIL- "wait! What? Shot we can't travel in night !!"

BRUCE- "why is that ?"

MIL- "at night THEYH haunt this place !!"

BRUCE-" who?"

BRUCE- "THEYH!"

BRUCE- "they who"

MIL-" not they THEYH!"

BRUCE-" who is they!!!"

MIL- "THEYH !!!"

BRUCE- "YOU !, ME!, I!, US!, WE!, THEN COMES THEY !NOW TELL ME WHO THE FUCK ARE THEY!!!!!!!!!"

BLAIL- "they-ja-vu!"

BRUCE- "what!!"

MIL-" THEYH !! Its a monster that haunts thus place at night , it travel in shadows and survives on consuming peoples soul "

BRUCE- "what kind of harry potter shit is this?!"

BLAIL-" None i know of"

MIL-" fire we have to use fire and make sure it stays whole night it should be big enough to lighten up the whole cave "

BRUCE- "Allright I'll go and collect woods and you please, stay here "

MIL-" ok but please be safe and come quick "

BRUCE- "yeah yeah I know"

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15 minutes later

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BRUCE-" allright I'm ba...ck??"

Mil is right now trying to dig a holw in cave wall

BRUCE- "what are you doing "

MIL- "wha! what!? no!! I was just getting bored!"

BRUCE- "well help me start fire if your that bored"

MIL-" ye yeh of course!"

Well things have calmed down for a little bit..thats good .

MIL- "hey, sorry for shaking you that time i was just acting weird "

No you are weird

BRUCE- "*sighs * its ok i shouldn't have thrown your stuff"

MIL-" thrown?"

BRUCE-" i, i mean it fell on the way "

MIL-" no you definitely said thrown "

BRUCE- "It's night now lets go to sleep!"

MIL- "on wait!"

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BLAIL- "{bruce is asleep and mil is stil try to dig that hole . Hmm why is she doing it ?.....well we'll know in the next chapter but still a hint . *whispering* that hole is big as her* see ya later!}"