A Crazy Dream

As I saw the gray Cthulu-esque monster's eyes start to glow I had an epiphany. This whole endless void? This monster granting me 'ultimate power' with slaves or something? Clearly none of this was possible so this must be some sort of dream. The more I pondered the thought the more it seemed to be the case. This must be one of those lucid dreams people talk about. Immediately I felt a lot of the tension leave my body.

"Now, it is time for the Mindslaver-" "So why did my subconscious give you two dicks?" I interrupted. The creature honestly looked stunned after I had cut him off. "I beg your pardon? What? I am a god here offering you power and you think cutting me off to ask that question was a good idea?"

I just shrugged my shoulders as I tried to walk around in the abyss. I felt like my feet were touching something but as I walked the creature in front of me didn't seem to be shrinking from his impressive height. "Look Golt-something I'm sure you are a big shot. I'm just saying I would have expected a monster my brain conjured up to be less humanoid." Said creature just stared at me for several moments and I was starting to think I had offended him. Could you offend figments of your imagination? I was beginning to think that maybe it was better to just play along. "Okay fine. Make me a Mindslaver."

"Can you repeat that one more time?" I asked as I stretched my back.

"I have repeated the explanation THREE TIMES! Choose Mindslaver!" The creature roared. The thing obviously wasn't a human but there was no mistaking that it was glaring at me.

Again I shrugged my shoulders, "look there are a lot of sections. There are Powers, Drawbacks, **** Types, Pacts, umm Slaves, and umm...." I trailed off having already forgotten the other sections.

I could swear the eldritch monstrosity sighed. "Boons and Means of Control".

"Right! It's a lot to try to remember. Do you have this written down somewhere. Like a pamphlet or a menu?"

"I am offering you eldritch power beyond your comprehension and you expect me to put it on a menu as if it were from some RESTAURANT?!"

Moments later I browsed through the newly created menu I had been given. Some part of me recalled that you shouldn't be able to read in dreams but obviously I had misheard because it was clearly legible. I looked up and saw Golt roll his red eyes, he seemed annoyed with the whole situation. Honestly at this point I started to feel bad for the dream dude. Plus it was getting kinda boring just standing in this void. "Okay I'll take umm Conditioned, Unaware, and Happy Slaves."

"Did you just pick those at random- you know what? Whatever. You need to pick a means of control first."

"Okay well how do these work? Like how do I infuse a pendulum? What is my sigil made of? How-" "Let me stop you there. I highly suggest you just take Familiar so I don't have to waste my time trying to explain the entire premise of magic."

I scratched my head. "Perfect. I'll take you as my familiar since you know all this stuff."

"You want ... me? Mindslaver or no, you do not get to have a god as your familiar. Hmm, I guess I can make a fragment of myself to serve you. A surprisingly wise choice." As he spoke I thought I could see a smirk underneath those tentacles.

Before he could command me I was already browsing the next section. I actually chuckled at some of the options listed. Fuckable nipples? Why was that as costly as freezing someone in time? Why did I even care? Clearly none of this mattered. "Okay moving on. I'll take Sensitivity, Libido, pfft Fuckable Nipples, Induce Fetish, Cum Addiction, Cum Production, a Large Maid Training, and Fertility powers on the side." Golthuem lifted an eyebrow but I barreled on. "For Powers let's just go with Flesh Sculptor. I always wanted to be ripped. Pact? You've been a big help Golt buddy so sure I'll throw you a bone and agree to yours. Slaves? This is a random list of people I've never met so ummm Alexandra , Jamie, and Mary. Boom, done right?"

The creature stared at me with a blank expression for a while but eventually it nodded. "I don't know if your rashness is wise but since you have agreed to my pact I will forgive your lax attitude. Unfortunately you seem to be a few points over. Would you like to remove some or take some drawbacks?"

I had already closed the menu by the time he had finished speaking and thrown it into the nothingness. "Just pick me some drawbacks."

The creature made a horrible guttural sound that I think was supposed to be a laugh. "Gladly. Your boons shall be permanent and I will personally ensure the church hears about you Mindslaver. I wish you the best of luck." It made another horrible guttural laugh and then he too vanished.

Suddenly I was back in my room sitting in my chair as if nothing had happened. I looked around for some sign that anything had changed but the room was empty. Suddenly a wave of exhaustion seemed to wash over me. Shit was that not a dream? I glanced down at the drink I had been sipping on beforehand. "Shit, Jessie must have laced my drink with something. That fucker." I had just enough energy to stumble into bed before I collapsed and fell asleep.