9S wishes for tee shirt shopping with 2B.

9S recalled back to his time traveling with 2B. His memories... If he searched there, he was certain there had been something both of them had wanted. In fact, he thought to himself, it was the perfect example of the kind of wish to ask for here. Something small but meaningful to both of them, yet something impossible to obtain without the help of magic...

Scratching at the back of his head, 9S tried to give voice to it. It hadn't been too hard to present it as a cool line to 2B before, but he found it embarrassing to share with another. "All right, Mahmuna, I've got it. This is just a small little wish, okay? If you can grant it without messing us up, I'll consider you've got a handle on your powers and don't mean us any harm. I'll consider wishing for something bigger."

"Oh, I like the sound of that!" the genie exclaimed with starry eyes, clapping her hands together, a noise that echoed off the gold piles around them. "What may Mahmuna grant you, that would make you consider to consider?"

9S did his best to give one more thought to what stipulations he should put on his wish as a safeguard. "Ahem... I wish for 2B and I to have one single day with no more important task than buying 2B a nice tee shirt, and to be in a world where it's possible for us to do so, and after that, we'll return to our ordinary lives, ready to continue our mission." He couldn't help but give a glance at 2B to see what her reaction would be, hoping for a smile. He saw at least faint surprise, which he supposed would have to be good enough.

"Ooh, you did put quite a lot of thought and constrictions into it, did not you?" Mahmuna asked, working her tongue with her lips as if doing tough mental work. "But do not fear, young man! In my delivery, I shall prove to you how I have nothing but your best interests at heart. By the power of the Reality Crystal, it shall be done! Behold, a world transformed by my great and benevolent power leaving no room for complaint!" The genie clapped her hands together, then spread them before her, emitting fireworks of purple sparks that cast otherworldly light off of the gold surfaces that surrounded them. The light grew in noise and intensity in a way that seemed excessive for the "small wish" 9S had asked for, and which didn't seem to be possible to tune out with any shielding or blindfolds.

When the light cleared, the treasure room was empty, save for the two floating and masterless Pods that remained.

Pod 042 spoke immediately. "Report: YoRHa units 2B and 9S have disappeared from the vicinity. Proposal: Pods 042 and 153 mount immediate search and rescue mission."

Pod 153 turned to face the other drone, shaking in the air to disagree. "Negative. Theory: The proposed 'wish' of 9S should include the safe return of both units within 24 hours. Proposal: Pods 042 and 153 hold current position to support assigned units upon their return."

9S slowly opened his eyes, seeing clearly in spite of the blindfold that still covered them. Even before they were open, he could tell he was in a different place. A different world from his own, or a different time? Without seeing, he could hear and smell the bustle of activity around him.

He'd woken up on his feet, feeling otherwise the same as he had in Mahmuna's treasure room. As he took stock, the place around him was an upper floor of some sort of human commerce center from the early second millennium, many millenia in the past from his own life. Sunlight shone down from a glass skylight in the roof. The people walking around and staring weren't androids: they were real, flesh-and-blood humans. They all had different skin tones, hair colors, and builds, but that was true of resistance androids, as well. Their humanity, however, was clear from the variety in their surprised reactions. It was incredible, more than any work or ruin he and 2B had come across in their journey.

Speaking of 2B... he didn't hear her. For a panicked moment, 9S wondered if this would end up being the unintended consequence of his wish. He reflexively opened a communications channel. "2B, are you here?! Please respond."

To his surprise, she didn't reply on comms. Instead, a finger tapped him on the back of the shoulder. "9S. Turn around. Then, turn back around."

"2B! Thank goodness you're-" her partner began, turning around more by reflex than to answer her request. When he completed the first spin, making eye contact with 2B's exposed and shockingly clear blue eyes, he took longer than requested to turn back.

2B's eyes were exposed because she wasn't wearing a blindfold. It was now obvious that she'd requested he turn back around quickly because she wasn't, in fact, wearing anything at all. As opposed to 9S, it was clear she had been transported to this world or time without any weaponry or any clothes on her back. As the young man stared, the typically emotionless 2B was doing her best to cover her front privates with one arm crossed over her perky breasts and another between her clenched legs. There wasn't a weapon or anything else to cover her back, and it was clear the reactions of the humans he'd seen were to the bare backside of the white-haired beauty.

9S took a moment to appreciate the fact that it wasn't just that he'd never seen 2B undressed: she didn't have a hobby of taking unnecessary baths like he did, not as far as he knew. That meant she was probably very rarely naked, even alone. The details of her naked body seemed somehow unimportant compared to the expression on her face. He couldn't remember witnessing it, but he'd long suspected that although they were androids, they had the capacity to cry. Some part of him had always pictured that one day, he'd see that side of 2B. What he hadn't expected to see, nor ever imagined an android would have capacity for, was blushing. Nonetheless, 2B's pale face was lit up red. Her brow was creased in frustration. Her glossed lips trembled as she watched him watching her.

"Ah, um... 2B." 9S managed to **** out a coarse acknowledgment. "There's... no need to be embarrassed about being seen by a bunch of humans without your assigned clothing, is there?"

"Turn back around, 9S."

"Yes, ma'am," 9S complied, whirling back. "Okay, yeah yeah, I get it! I- Ow!" the android let out a cry as 2B hit him on the back of the head. "What gives?!"

"I asked you to turn around quickly before. That was a significantly delayed response on your part."

"Okay, okay, fair. In return, I'm going to conveniently forget you enacted mission-irrelevant **** on another YoRHa unit without clearance..." Finally, his eyes came to rest on something new in front of him. He supposed that he'd noticed it last, considering the presence of gawking humans and 2B behind him had been distracting. In comparison, he was somehow less surprised to see Mahmuna in front of him, set up in what appeared to be a vendor's kiosk that wouldn't stand out if she wasn't quite visibly a genie. "What's the deal?"

Mahmuna had her hands folded on the counter in front of her and a friendly smile, not seeming the slightest bit perturbed about the predicament of the two androids. "Yes, the deal! Mahmuna is selling a very fine tee shirt at this kiosk. At a mere ten human dollars, it is less of a deal, more of a steal! And, Crystal be praised, there are two patterns available to choose from. I am quite certain you cannot be displeased with that level of service! And it is my pleasure to be helpful on your most important mission of the day." She gestured at a couple of tee shirts behind her:

An extra large size, black, with the text I VISITED THE TOWER OF TOTAL DEFEAT AND ALL I GOT WAS THIS LOUSY T-SHIRT.

A small size, white, with a depiction of an arrow pointing to the side and the black text I'M WITH STUPID.

"This obviously isn't what I was wishing for," 9S complained.

"It obviously is!" Mahmuna defended herself, looking surprised. "I even went above and beyond by creating the circumstances by which your friend would urgently require a tee-shirt, as you requested!"

"Okay, sure, I get how this works. My bad for getting my hopes up. Just give me the shirt."

"Of course! That shall be ten dollars."

"For the love of- Mahmuna, I don't have ten dollars! Human currency hasn't existed in my world for ages!"

"Then I suggest you wish for ten dollars, or simply wish for the tee shirt!"

"If you're an ally like you claimed, you'll just give us the shirt."

"And ruin your previous wish?! You wished for buying the shirt to be an important mission! I cannot grant it to you for free, unless you wish once more."

2B watched the back-and-forth without amusement, noticing flashes beginning to go off from the primitive devices many of the people around were pointing at her exposed body. Her Pod had a similar function of repeated flashes that served to taunt machines, and 2B felt like she was beginning to understand how that must feel for the machines. "Mahmuna... We are combat androids. We don't have any way to earn ten dollars to pay you for a shirt. Based on the catastrophic results of 9S's previous careless wish, I'm not eager to start making any new ones."

9S groaned. "Seriously? My wish wasn't even careless! There's no way a sane person would interpret this as what I would want. No, Mahmuna, this is your carelessness, not mine. I wish you'd just demonstrate how someone like 2B could even expect to earn ten bucks without any clothes on, and help her do that as soon as possible!"

"Hm... Oh my." Mahmuna put a hand over her mouth, hiding her reaction. "Very well... Oh my, oh my! I am... beginning to get a sense of what is important to you, young man. I apologize for the earlier implication that your friend was your sister. Well, this next wish shall be delivered to your satisfaction, without question. As I will personally... participate in this demonstration, I hope it shall also serve as my sufficient apology." Looking bashful, she uncrossed her arms, raised them above her head, and clapped her hands above her head once more.