<Episode 1> That Smokin’ Hot Babe I Never Got With, and also Just About Everyone Else in the DPRK

You materialise in a flash of light somewhere in the middle of Kangwon province. The collection of flat concrete buildings is much like any other that you could find in a North Korean village, which begs the question: why come here?

The true and proper answer would be a long story unto itself, featuring an upside down map and a sub-average IQ tank driver and a very hot young lady that you never got to bang, because one of dad’s generals was riding along and…

The point is, you find yourself knocking on the door, unconsciously licking your lips, excited at the prospect of finally laying your hands on that pale vixen from your dreams. The door slowly swings open, revealing the coy figure behind the door, and it’s a god-damned neckbeard.

You slam the door, fuming, and you erase that man’s memory of you with an angry thought. You didn’t even know this country had neckbeards! (Okay, so you did, because obviously you know everything about every one of your loyal adherents, but you got the wrong door, and that wasn’t your fault. This pseudo-omniscience is hard, okay?

Okay, fine, maybe not that hard. But you’re new to it. A mistake or two this early on is only to be expected.)

You approach the next building down the street, an identical one, because of course all the buildings in this village are identical, that’s the beauty of socialist brutalist urban planning, and this time, you knock on the door with confidence. You cheat a little, tapping the woman’s senses to confirm that she hears the knock. She comes to the door, opening it up, and your breath is once again taken away by her.

She’s short and slim, but not in a way that indicates malnutrition (you don’t want to be thinking about all those famines while you’re porking her, that’s for sure), with a decent rack and ass, but what really captivates you is her face. She has high cheekbones, and heavyset eyes that smoulder as they widen, recognising you as her Supreme Leader.

She immediately prostrates herself on the ground.

“Supreme Leader, I am at your service!” she cries out.

Oh, how sweet and true those words are.

“Rise, my beautiful comrade,” you say, placing a stubby finger on her shoulder.

You never liked that much about yourself—the stubby fingers—and with a thought, you remake them into longer, slenderer things. Huh. Cool party trick. Much cooler than juggling two balls, which had been your go-to thing, until all the party-goers wouldn’t stop clapping because they didn’t want to be the first to stop, and you couldn’t stop juggling because that would just be embarrassing, it being only two balls to juggle and all, but still, keeping that up for thirty minutes straight was taxing, and then you eventually dropped one ball, and somebody snickered, and you had that secretary executed.

“Your hands, Eternal Leader,” the lady gasps, staring at your new hands in wonder. “They’ve changed!”

“You doubted me, Cho Seulgi?” you ask her, plucking the name from her mind.

“No, of course not, Eternal Leader, surely not,” she stammers back.

But you cheat more and peek into her internal monologue, where she is saying: what the fuck how is this possible the radio said He died and now he is at my door am I hallucinating

“You are not hallucinating,” you say with a benevolent smile. It’s the same one you use for all your photo-ops, and she seems shocked, as if the reality of your Godhood was really, truly, hitting her for the first time.

“What do you imagine I am here for?” you continue, stepping into her house uninvited.

It’s very bare. The kitchen contains a small stove—no gas burners here—and the living room consists of a single table and three chairs. One peek into her memories reveals that the bed will not be a comfortable place to fuck on.

“You are here for me,” Seulgi says demurely.

She exercises an impressive amount of self-control as she does, because internally, you can hear her emotions running wild oh my god what is happening Kim Jong-Il is really here and what is going to happen to me oh why is here…

“That’s right,” you say, sweeping her off her feet, your muscles abruptly expanding and tautening as you realise that the gesture was harder than it should have been.

She yelps in surprise; you silence her with a kiss to her lips.

The women you’ve been with have always been very responsive to your kisses, groaning and moaning and even orgasming in one particularly fond memory of yours. You always thought you were a mighty good kisser. But you now realise that this might have all been a charade, as you hear Seulgi thinking eww why all of this tongue, does he not even know how to kiss???

You’re about to toss her aside in anger, when you realise that that would probably break her.

So instead you rip open her shirt, the fabric tearing surprisingly easily with your newfound strength, and you grope her tits, pushing her backwards, backing her into the bedroom. Her body is smooth, supple, just like you always imagined she’d be.

“My leader, please,” she cries out, as you **** her back onto the bed.

Is she begging for you to stop, or to continue?

Even a peek into her mind makes things no clearer. She’s torn between the fear of what you’ll do to her if she refuses, of the honour at being visited by you, of the hope at a better life, of the disgust she feels at herself…

You, having the emotional intelligence of a bonobo, proceed by tearing off her pants, jamming two fingers into her slick quim. She gasps as you do.

THAT’S JUST A TASTER FOR WHAT’S COMING NEXT you declare in her head.

She gasps even louder, some strange arousal causing her pussy to clamp down on your fingers, and you thrust into her, working her up, getting her more lubricated in preparation for your dong.

Speaking of which. Your pants disappear with a thought, and you stare down at your pecker. You’ve always been told that it’s the biggest, best, thing that’s graced this nation, but simple empirical observation would tell you that all those women were lying. So instead of coming to terms with the fact that, statistically, half of all men will have below median dick-lengths, you simply enlarge your own until it is indisputably the biggest (but therefore almost certainly not best) thing that’s graced this nation.

Then, you attempt to stick your meatshaft into Seulgi.

Her cry when you penetrate her with the head is one of overwhelming pain, mixed with the barest hint of pleasure.

Okay, so maybe six feet long and two feet wide was a bit overkill.

You tone your cock back down to a slightly more manageable size, and this time slide into her tightness much more successfully.

“Oh, Eternal Leader,” Seulgi screams, and she bucks against you, the **** of your penetration setting off something deep and primal within her.

You can feel your urge to fire rising already… you’ve always been a quick-shot, and it seems like transmuting your cock hasn’t changed that. She feels so good, so hot, her body so right under your weight.

“Your body is mine,” you growl in her ear, and it is true.

You spurt inside her womb, ejaculate matter splattering inside of her, and you hear her writhing, moaning in pleasure—signs of an orgasm, all faked, you realise as you peer inside her head once more. Were all those other women faking it too?

“You didn’t actually cum,” you mutter, staring at Seulgi’s heaving chest.

She covers her face in shame.

“I’m sorry, so sorry, Supreme Leader,” she says. “Please don’t count it against me. I will make sure to cum next time.”

You sigh. You know that’s not true, and it’s not just because you have a direct channel to all of her thoughts, which are telling you that even she doesn’t believe that she will.

“I need to get better at sex,” you say, suddenly grasping the sides of her face.

Her eyes widen, confusion plain to see.

“You’re going to teach me how,” you say. “I’m going to keep practicing on you until you can cum as quickly as I can. That should give you all the motivation to teach me well.”

Her eyes widen even further.

“Yes, Eternal Leader,” she says, but you can feel her internal doubt, because she doesn’t believe that you’ll ever be able to make her cum, so much as make her cum in ten seconds.

But you are a God now. Nothing is beyond you.