""Nice Guys"" Finish Last

Dean Charleston let out a sigh as she shook her head in disappointment. "I can't say that I'm not proud of your honesty, Samantha. However, I can't say that I'm not disappointed with your actions either; doing what you did rather then coming to me for help. I'm afraid I'm going to have to expel all four of you. I never thought I'd have to expel my own daughter."

Sam and Robin hung their heads as Andrew smirked smugly, all while Eve looked between the three before returning her attention to The Dean.

"Dean Charleston, please!" Eve begged, "They had nothing to do with any of this! This was all my fault! Sam and Robin just got caught up in all of this! Expel me and Andrew if you want, but please leave them out of this!"

"Or, hell! Just expel Andrew after the crap he put these three through." Zoey commented, "He nearly exposed Lil' Robin at the science lab from what I heard!"

"And he almost got them caught by Ms. Deters and the astronomy club at the planetarium!" Jamie added.

"And locked them in the corn snake exhibit at the teaching zoo!" Charlie added as he reached into his pocket. "As well as set a robot on them at the science building!"

"And he's been trying to steal our clothes all night, Mom!" Sam finished.

"And why would Mr. Deters do that?" Dean Charleston asked, genuinely confused.

"To **** me into dating him!" Eve replied in disgust.

"Oh, now that was just a hurtful lie!" Andrew lied, feigning hurt. "Dean Charleston, I was only helping your daughter and her friends get dressed so they would no longer be embarrassed or get into trouble for running around naked. If anything, Charlie is the real ass here! He and his cronies were rounding up their clothes just so he could date your daughter and **** her to if she said no."

"Hold me back, Robin!" Sam snarled through gritted teeth as Robin did just that. "You dirty, rotten liar! When I get my hands on you -"

"Samantha Agatha Charleston! Calm down!"

"Well, Eve, last chance." Andrew whispered with a smug smirk. "I'll admit the truth and take the fall. You know the price..."

"I'd rather lick a dead buffalo!" Eve hissed.

"Well, then I hope you didn't want Princess Daisy and Jabba the Hutt there to live happily ever after, because I think Dean Charleston is never gonna let that -"

"You WILL be mine, Eve!"

Everyone stopped what they were doing at that voice, turning towards Charlie as the nerd held up his phone smugly as it played a recording of a naked Andrew slipping on Robin's pants outside the pool building.

"I'll gather up all your clothes, and the clothes of that butch bitch Robin and that Mama's Girl Sam." The Andrew in the video said as he carefully zipped up Robin's zipper. "Then you'll finally date me out of gratitude! And if not... Well, we wouldn't want that bitchy old goat Dean Charleston finding out now do we?"

As the video came to an end, everyone turned their attention back to Andrew, the naked, splotchy, and smelly young man sweating bullets and chuckling nervously.

"'Butch bitch'?" Robin asked, her hands balling into fists as Zoey cracked her knuckles with a growl.

"'Mama's girl'?" Sam asked, glaring down Andrew.

"'Bitchy old goat'?" Dean Charleston asked, scowling at the young man in front of her.

"Um... I can explain...?"

Dean Charleston groaned as she shook her head, turning to the three girls. "Well, it appears my mind has changed. While I can't turn a blind eye to you three running around starkers, I understand that you neither had any say nor choice in the matter. Therefore, I will let this incident under the radar and off your permanent record, but you three are suspended for three days. Effective tomorrow."

The three gasped in excitement as Sam and Robin ran up to hug Eve... Only to stop at the halfway point as they remembered that Eve was now contaminated with poison ivy oil and skunk musk from Andrew. Chuckling sheepishly, Eve air hugged the two as Sam and Robin wrapped an arm around each other and air hugged her back.

"Sorry I'm late, Dean Charleston, I was - WHOA!" Ms. Abby Deters called out, covering her eyes at seeing her brother's naked body. "Okay, Andrew, I helped Mom bathe you and change your diapers, but this is way more of you than I needed to see!"

"As for you, Mr. Deters," Dean Charleston continued, "I'm afraid that you are to be expelled for the rest of the year. And everything you have done tonight will go on your permanent record."

"What?!" Andrew barked, "But you can't just -"

"Or perhaps you'd prefer if this 'bitchy old goat' bans you from stepping foot on school grounds?" Dean Charleston asked, causing Andrew to clam up immediately. "I thought so. Now, you two need to get cleaned up as soon as possible. Sam, you and Robin escort Eve to the nurse's office for a tomato bath and to get that rash that's starting taken care of before it gets worse."

"Right away, Mom." Sam replied as the three headed towards the office in question.

"What about me?!" Andrew called out.

"You'll have your rash taken care of after your bath. However, the nurse's office only has enough tomato juice for one person tonight. However," Dean Charleston smiled impishly, "the sorority house is throwing a party for their twenty-one year olds, complete with Bloody Marys. If you would be so kind as to escort your brother there, Ms. Deters?"

"With pleasure!" Abby said with a wicked smile, donning a pair of rubber gloves as she dragged a stunned and stammering Andrew towards the sorority house.

"Thanks for the help guys." Eve said, sitting in a bathtub of tomato juice in the nurse's office as Sam dunked a jug over her head.

"After you risked everything to help us stay out of trouble, it's the least we could do." Robin said as Eve began scrubbing herself, "We're your friends, Eve. We got your back."

"Excuse me, Ms. Charleston?" The Nurse said as she poked her head in, "Mr. Taylors is here to see you."

"Charlie?" Sam asked, looking towards Eve and Robin, the former waving her off as the latter nodded; both grinning widely.

"H-hey, Charlie." Sam said as she stepped out into the hall. "So, you, uh," she blushed, "you wanted to talk to me about something?"

"Sam, I..." Charlie stammered, blushing a shade redder than his hair. "I want you to know that... Well, I... I just... It wasn't my intention when I tried to collect your clothes, but... I..."

"Charlie, can I interrupt for just a second?" Sam asked, staring her crush in the eyes. She knew what he was trying to say. "I just want to say that I've been crushing on you for a few years now. And, well, since you saw everything..."

"You were crushing on me?!" Charlie asked in shock. "W-why didn't you say anything?!"

"Because I was afraid that you would think I was making fun of you." Sam replied, "And after I heard you tell Eve that you've been crushing on me... Well, I... Ah, screw it!"

Without warning, Sam grabbed Charlie by his face and kissed him with a fiery passion. Sam let out a small delighted squeal as she felt Charlie kiss back, the two locking lips for a few minutes before pulling away.

"You have no idea how long I've wanted to do that." Sam said with a smile, Charlie smiling back. "Hey, after the three day suspension is over, do you wanna... I dunno, go see a movie or something?"

"I'd like that." Charlie said as he nodded before he walked away. "See you then."

"See you." Sam replied lovingly as her crush - her boyfriend walked down the hall.

"I call dibs on Maid of Honor!"

"Then I call dibs on Godmother!"

"Eve, you won't even babysit your nephew. And Sam's gonna pick you to be the godmother of her children?"

Sam turned around to see Robin and Eve standing behind her, the latter covered in tomato byproducts while wrapped in a white towel. Both were still grinning madly.

"I'll take them into consideration." Sam replied with a chuckle. "Though to be fair, it was all because Eve made that illegal move that Charlie and I are together now."

"Eh, fair point." Robin admitted with a shrug.

"Just hope Nurse Daniels finds that poison ivy cream." Eve said, scratching her stomach. "I'm starting to feel the burn. And not in a good way."

"I can only imagine what that ass Andrew is going through."

At the sorority house, the entire sorority and fraternity were laughing and howling madly at the sight of Abby dunking jug after jug of tomato juice over the head of Andrew, the young man covering his shame with his hands as he stood in the middle of the front yard.

"Who wants to scrub down my little brother?" Abby offered. "Cause I ain't doing it!"

"That ain't little!"

"Eh, my boyfriend is bigger."

"He's bigger than mine."

"Hey!"

"Come on, Ted! He's got at least an inch on you!"

"... Crap! He does."

"And remember: Whoever scrubs him down, hoses him down, and then applies the poison ivy cream, gets extra credit in my class!" Abby called out.

"Wait a second, doesn't Betsy have a crush on this guy?" A sorority girl asked.

"She certainly does!" The Sorority President replied with a wicked grin. "Hey, Betsy! You're dreams just came true tonight!"

Andrew gulped as he saw a 7'2" Amazon of a woman step forward, practically drooling as she put on a pair of gloves and picked up a small, mesh kitchen sponge with a squeal.

"I don't know and, really, I don't care." Eve said with a chuckle as she stepped back into the Nurse's office to get the tomato juice rinsed off her.

Sam shrugged as she headed off down the hall, leaving Robin alone in the hall. Suddenly, Robin remembered something...

"Hey! Am I ever going to get a shirt back on?!" She called out, covering her bare breasts.