Waifu Gift

You live alone.

One morning, you open your eyes and blink.

You definitely didn’t fall asleep with a blue-skinned, floating, extremely smug-looking genie in your room.

"Holy shit!" you scream, stumbling backward and knocking over your desk chair.

"Calm down, I’m a genie, not a monster," the genie says with the weary exasperation of someone who’s had to do this a thousand times before. He's got no legs, golden cuffs, and a celestial sash around his waist. His face is handsome, but also punchable, like the kind of guy who knows exactly how hot he is.

"What the hell are you doing in my room?" you gasp.

"I’m here to grant you one wish," he says, stretching lazily mid-air. "Because of the good deeds you did in your past life."

"...Isn’t it usually three?"

"Nope. Just one." He gives a tight-lipped smile.

"Ah... okay. World peace?"

He snorts. "Get real. Not even a genie can do that."

"Unlimited wealth?"

"Nice try, but no."

"Okay, then what can you do?"

He snaps his fingers. Little sparkles shoot out like pixelated fireworks. “A loving waifu.”

"...What?"

"That’s right. I can give you a wife who loves you unconditionally. Any fictional character you pick." He leans closer, eyes glinting. “Anyone.”

Your heart skips. "You mean like...?"

He rolls his eyes and gestures lazily. “Yeah yeah. Tifa Lockhart. Hinata Hyuga. Makima. 2B. Albedo. Zero Two. Esdeath. Tsunade. Yor Forger. Rias Gremory. You name her, you can have her. In the flesh. Real. Right here. Right now.”

You stare.

"Wait, but... they aren’t real, right?"

"Multiverse," he replies with a wink. "Infinite possibilities. Every fictional universe is real. Even if they're fiction to you, they’re real to those who live there."

You blink again. "So... wait. You’re telling me-"

"You think you are a real person." He grins wider. "But there’s another world where you are just a fictional character from an online story. The people reading your story right now think you’re a character in a story."

You pause. "...What am I a character in?"

"A choose your own adventure online story. Kind of like a visual novel without the visuals." He chuckles. “But here’s the kicker: the people reading your story? They’re fictional too. Just characters in someone else’s world. They just don't know it.”

Your brain starts to short-circuit. "...This is some multiverse recursion nightmare."

"Welcome to existentialism, kid." The genie floats closer and boops your forehead. "You’re real to you. That’s all that matters."

You sit down heavily on your bed. "So... every fictional universe is real?"

"Yup. Every last one." He spreads his arms dramatically, glittering stars and galaxies swirling behind him like a cosmic green screen.

"..."

You look down at your trembling hands. Then back up at the genie. "And you’re saying I can pick... any waifu?"

"That’s right," he says. "Pick one, and I’ll yank her out of her world and into yours. She’ll love you completely. No strings. No dark plot twists. No tragic backstory retcons."

You hesitate. “Any limitations?”

“She has to be female. And fictional. That’s it.”

You swallow. Your heart is racing. Your palms are sweaty. Spaghetti... okay, maybe not that. But still.

This is your moment.

A loving waifu. From any world.

The genie leans in.

“So. Who’s it gonna be?”