The Magical Misfire Ward

"All the magic in the world, and you're still using clipboards to fill out information?"

You glanced down at the paper and pen attached to the wooden clipboard, and then back up to the blonde woman behind the counter. She adjusted her glasses with a slow, drawn-out sigh, as if she had heard the same comment a thousand times. Odds were, you weren't the first to say that to her today, even.

"Magic has many uses, but NDAs with a regular old pen and paper seem to work just fine. Not only that, but some of our patients have conditions so sensitive to other magical sources that an enchanted pen might completely alter the trajectory of their treatment." The receptionist behind the sleek, glossy counter leaned back in her chair, fiddling with a curl of her long hair between her fingers. For a magician--as everyone within this facility was, you suspected--you'd expected more ancient robes, and fewer business-worthy blouses.

In fact, the whole construction of Zorina Heights Mystic Care Center struck you as odd--you had pictured some ancient stone castle or temple or something of the like, and yet the sleek design of gloss and glass struck you as more something from the future, than the past. You knew you had to be in the right place, you entered the dinky shop filled with healing crystals and haze of incense in the air, gave the secret password to a man with the most impressive beard you had ever seen, and were taken to the secret elevator behind a wall that shimmered away when you pushed through. You'd descended for a considerable while, but at the bottom was some cutting edge tech startup, not a magical rehabilitation center...

You tried to read over the Non-Disclosure Agreement, but the receptionist seemed to grow a bit impatient, despite nobody else in line behind you, and she started to summarize everything in it. "It's just so you don't go telling people on the surface about anything you see beyond the doors over there, because there are some really... inventive ways that people have gotten themselves into trouble with magic. And since you're thinking this room looks a bit less whimsical than you were expecting, I promise you that Zorina Heights is a cutting edge facility and having stone gargoyles everywhere doesn't put many patients at ease."

Strange, it was like she was...

"Yes, I am reading your thoughts. As receptionist-slash-gatekeeper, that's how I keep out those non-magical types who somehow make it down here because they heard some rumor from someone who knew someone. But I can sense that you've got traces of magic on you, and that's all I need to confirm entry."

You looked at the receptionist for some time more, but eventually you turned back to the clipboard, and signed your name.

Finally, the blonde smiled at you, now that her duties were nearing a close. "Alright, before I let you in, I have a little speech I have to give everyone who enters that I don't recognize. Got it?"

"Sure, go for it."

The blonde adjusted her glasses again, and set down a gemstone atop the counter, from which a projection of light appeared above it, showing a rough layout of a large facility that appeared to create a ring around an inner forested area. "This is Zorina Heights Mystic Care Center. Within this building we treat all manner of afflictions related to magic, whether you've got Astral Dissonance or you're suffering from Mana Burns or you've contracted the Pox Arcana... on and on. We're deep underground, so don't expect much cell coverage. Visitor hours are from 8AM to 8PM daily. Patients can stay in their rooms and adjust the environment controls to their liking to simulate just about anywhere on this planet, or they can roam in the parks and forests within the facility's walls, but access to the area on the outside of the facility is restricted. So far so good?"

You nodded, and the receptionist wasted no time continuing. "I know from what's on your mind that you're headed to the Magical Misfires ward, so just a few notes: that's where magicians rehab from magic that didn't go as planned. Some will recover, some won't, but the afflictions within Double-M are significant enough that they can't hide their symptoms for long if at all when on the surface, so don't expect any temporary discharges for traveling outside these walls, okay? The last thing we want is someone to end up on the news, it's a lot of work to scrub that. On top of all of that, be kind to the patients you meet, as some of them are quite sensitive about their... bizarre new reality. Got it? Don't answer, I already know."

The receptionist squints at you one last time, focusing directly on you. "Only one question remains, and even though it's obvious to me I need you to state it out loud for the record... are you here to visit, or are you checking in as a patient?"