The Day the Earth Stood Naked

Author's Note: I didn't like the way this was written so I decided to rewrite it.

Yawning slowly, I lay in bed a few moments longer. Have you ever felt like something was just wrong? It was like there was something missing or something was there that shouldn't be. Maybe it felt like...something was just off about the world. You couldn't put your finger on what, you just knew something was off. Well, that was how I felt as i lay there in bed. Let me start over. My name is John. I am (or was at the time) 40 years old. I stand somewhere around 5 feet 10 inches tall. I have a healthy 8 inches between my legs. I...well, I'm sure you are not here for a profile on me. Suffice it to say I am an average looking male with a bit of a gut. I'm not obese but I certainly could stand to lose some weight. In any case, back to the odd feeling I had of something being wrong with...well, the entire world.

You see, I am what you would call unemployed. I live off the government. I know what you are thinking. I would love to have a job, but currently the leaders of the world are not exactly in a position to give me total control of the planet. But I digress. So I am laying there in bed, my mind feeling more and more at odds with the world around me. Standing slowly, I began to slowly walk over to my dresser. pulling open the top drawer, I emptied it onto the floor. I did the same with the other drawers. It was almost as if I was watching someone else control my body. It was me in control, but I was functioning on autopilot. Walking back to the bed, I unmade the bed dumping the bedding on the pile fo clothes which I now had forgotten about. The growing pile of cloth on the floor was ever more foreign to me.

I now walked into the bathroom which, for the life of me, I knew no purpose for. Opening the linen closet, I pull out the towels and bedding and toilet paper. I carried it all into the bedroom and dumped it all on the pile of cloth. I went into the guest room and did the same. Then I walked downstairs to the kitchen and grabbed a large black trash bag. I carried it up to the bedroom and stuffed it full of the pile of cloth and paper. Tying the bag shut I carried it (well, dragged it as it was a bit heavier than I expected) down to the kitchen. Opening the backdoor, I dragged the bag out to the trash can in the backyard. My task complete, i walked back in the house and plopped down on the couch. Flipping on the TV, I mindlessly watched some random thing as my mind went over what I had just done. It made no sense, yet it still seemed the most logical thing.

I couldn't quite figure out why I would throw all that stuff away. Then again, I couldn't figure out why it had been in my house to begin with. I had a sudden thought as i sat thinking about the weirdness. Reaching for the phone, I called the water company and had them turn off my water. They said they would be out by the end of the day as they were getting thousands of similar requests. They asked if I was certain I wanted my water turned off. I repeated my request and my reasoning. They told me they would gladly schedule a turn off. Thanking them, I hung up the phone. It was at that moment that I realized what the feeling of wrongness had been. It was about the water...wasn't it? No. That wasn't it. The feeling had diminished noticeably, but it was still there. "Maybe," I thought, "I am just horny."

I reached down and began to stroke my penis slowly. Strangely though, it was refusing to grow erect. I mentally smacked myself as I remembered it was called a cock or dick, not a penis. The moment I remembered to forget the word penis, my cock grew almost instantly hard. I continued to jack off for several minutes until finally I came hard covering myself and the couch in cum. Panting hard, I smiled to myself as I sat in my afterglow. I slowly drift off slightly as my mind wandered slowly through the fields of imagination. However, my daydreaming only lasted a few minutes before it was interrupted by the phone ringing.