The Alternative Adventures Of Wendy Darling In Neverland

Wendy Darling loved telling stories and so was endlessly regaling her younger brothers, John and Michael, with tales of mystery and imagination she created. Rather than be a big sister to her siblings, she'd had a strong instinct to mother them since early childhood. This hadn't abated one jot as she'd grown towards womanhood. Now a reasonably pretty eighteen year old and armed with all the sex education the World Wide Web had to offer under her belt, her games played and stories shared with John and Michael were tending to take on a much more adult theme. This pleased teenage John no end but left little Michael in a state of confusion at times. For instance, he could never understand why he was left out on the landing with just his teddy to play with whenever the other two went into Wendy's bedroom to play mummies and daddies. From what he could hear through the closed door, all that particular game seemed to involve was synchronized jumping up and down on her bed without falling off.

However, Michael was never left out of Wendy's midnight story sessions. Every night, he willingly trotted off to bed at eight o'clock, secure in the knowledge that John would wake him and take him into Wendy's bedroom to hear her tales of daring do. Stories about child eating dinosaurs, infant abducting aliens from outer space, plus sordid sagas featuring witches and demons. This was the stuff of dreams for little Michael and he hung onto Wendy's every word.

This, indeed, was what he was doing one warm Summer night when he became distracted by the shadow of someone moving about the room. This was curious because there wasn't anybody moving about the room to cast such a shadow. Wendy noticed she was losing Michael's attention and followed the direction of his gaze to discover the cause.

"Well, fuck me" she gasped upon seeing the disembodied shadow!

"What? Again? Now?" John's confused response was halted by the sudden appearance at the bedroom window of a boy a year of two younger than himself. "Hi" he said, I'm Peter; any of you muggles seen a shadow?"

"Er.....yeah, loads of 'em" replied John who was, by now, totally befuddled. Okay, so it was a warm moonlit night and the window had deliberately been left open for ventilation. This made sense. The boy now casually sitting on the window sill looked pretty normal too. So what was it about this situation that was spooking John so?

Wendy saw it immediately and issued a stiffled scream before adding, "Shit, we're on the second floor; how the fuck did you get up here?" "Defying gravity" came the answer. "It's the latest thing, I believe someone's even written a song about it." "You're....flying? How on earth can you do that?" "Douglas Adams wrote that flying's simply a matter of attempting to fall to earth and missing it. That's the best explanation I've heard anyway! Now, at the risk of repeating myself, Sugar Tits; has any of you dudes seen my shadow? It got torn off when I swooped over one of your thorny rose bushes in the garden and snagged on the perrrickles."

"Hang on," interrupted John, who was finally catching up with events; "a shadow is caused by solid matter coming between a light source and the area immediately behind it. This solid matter either deflects or absorbs the light rays so that none get through. This causes a dark patch to appear in the universe that's pretty much the same shape as the solid matter between it and the light source. It's all cause and effect. Therefore, a shadow has no substance of itself; it's merely the absence of light and thus is incapable of getting snagged up on anything."

He would have carried on in this vein had he not spotted and actually heard the shadow noisely drumming it's shadowy fingers in annoyance on Wendy's desk before making a wanking gesture towards John. It would therefore appear that even in fairyland, nobody, (even if they haven't actually got a body), likes a smart arse!