The Agency of the Sexual Anomalies

"The Agency of Sexual Anomalies is involved in the containment of the paranormal sexual anomalies that lurk in our world. Some are benevolent magical milfs, while some are alien impregnators, and some are just outright unexplainable, but it is your job to ensure the humanity stays safe and unaware of these bizarre erotic aberrations."

Your grandfather concludes his monologue peering out the living room window blinds as you stare at him with eyes agape in bewilderment.

"WHAT?!?!" you exclaimed, obviously puzzled by the insane info dump you grandfather had just laid upon you. Sexual anomalies, magical milfs... alien impregnators?!?! Had your grandfather finally gone mad?! Surely the old geezer had always had an eccentric twist to his personality, being a renown inventor and self proclaimed evil genius, but had the man finally inhaled too many toxic fumes while working on his contraptions?

"Its true kiddo! I'm sorry I'm kind of just dumping all this on yah, but I have ! There are people after me, BAD people, they think I have the key to what they are searching for, but they are wrong..." Your grandfather went on as he paced around the room, grabbing gadgets he'd left strewn about and putting them in his travelers bag.

"Woah grandad, slow down, you're sounding really crazy right no-"

You are cut off suddenly as the living room window is smashed and your raise your hands to shield yourself from the onrush of shattered glass. Your eyes flutter open to see 3 armed strangers in what appeared to be ninja like garb. They all wore headbands with strange symbols, and each brandished a deadly weapon as well as eyes filled with lethal intent.

"Surrender yourselves now and perhaps our Sex Goddess will have mercy on you, mortal!" one of the assailants declared. This one in particular had a cool, commanding female tone, but her voice wasn't the only thing that revealed her to be woman, as even through the black ninja outfit, her natural curvaceous figure and well endowed breasts gave away her femininity. However, standing before her while she wielded a giant bladed fan weapon, you could find no reason to underestimate her deadliness.

Before you had a chance to surrender however, your grandfather throws some orblike object from behind you and it smashes on the ground, causing a shockwave that leaves you seemingly paralyzed. In fact, it doesn't just paralyze you, but everything around you, including the 3 assailants who you now are able to get a better look at in this timeless state.

The female who'd demanded your surrender appeared to be of asían heritage, and tufts of black hair flowed out from her dark ninja mask. She was accompanied by another female, a blonde who was equally as womanly endowed, with piercing eyes that surely conveyed... malice? lust?

You weren't sure, but before you could decide, you are interrupted by your grandfather whizzing by you at super speeds, apparently grabbing everything he can around the room before finally standing before the 3rd assailant, a redheaded female ninja holding a hot pink saber whos color matched her fierce eyes. You watched as the sly old man took advantage of temporal effects caused my his invention, and coped a feel of the ginger ninjas breasts, as well as a good, deep feel up of her crotch area. Your grandfather looked as if he could've kept going, but instead he finally stepped away from the female and rushed to your side in the blink of and eye, grabbing you and hauling off out the house at super sonic speeds.

At some point outside you regain the ability to move and your grandfathers super speed wears off. He slows to a halt and puts you down before stopping to regain his breath. "Ah, ok, so now you see why we need to move. Now, I need to get you to the a facility where you can be safe. See that phonebooth over there? Dial 069, and wait for five seconds. GO, do it, I have to go, I need to take care of this myself."

Your grandfather urges you on, but you turn back to exclaim, "But you said it's up to me to keep humanity safe from all this paranormal sex stuff, how the hell am I gonna do that?!"

"When the time comes, you'll know what to do, now please, GO, and take this!" Your grandfather hands you his travelers bag before giving you a kick in the rear and sending you tumbling towards the phonebooth.