Tales of The Red Private

You are William Ebbins, captain of the pirate ship, "The Red Private". Feared upon the open seas as a fierce combatant, who not only spoils ships and settlements, but kidnaps hundreds of young women every year, your life is filled with adventure. Your banner, the skeleton with an erect red penis has caused vile indignation among the "respectable" citizens, as well as led to the name of your ship. You called it The Red Penis, a symbol of your blood red beard, and your always high libido. However, the citizens of the towns you could not bring themselves to speak that, so they just call it "The Red Private".

You sail up and down the Caribbean, attacking ships and settlements. You steal all manner of booty, but the one that has made you infamous is women's booty. You kidnap women from almost every town you invade, forcing them to work on your vessel...and your ship. You make them cook, clean, sew, and all that womanly stuff they can do. You also have been known to these woman into sexual encounters with you, or your pirate crew. Little do people know just how little you often have to ....

It's a glorious morning as you sail towards the coast. The sun is shining, and the air is cool. You are running low on supplies, so you have decided to attack a nearby settlement. As you approach the shore, you order the guns to be rolled out, and you organize the shore party.

One of your men, John Wallace, approaches you, "Mornin' Cap'ain. I was just wonderin', since we be runnin' low on female companions, should we bring a few along, back with us, I mean."