Office Mailgirls

What is a Mailgirl?

A mailgirl is a courier responsible for delivering documents between employees within a company.

When a delivery request appears on her Mailgirl Monitoring Unit (MMU), she promptly goes to the pickup location.

The sender can select from three speeds: normal, rush, or premium rush. A timer on her MMU indicates the delivery deadline, and any lateness results in a demerit.

Demerits are also given for uniform issues (such as smudged numbers, streaked makeup, or odor), covering up, or failing to speak or pose correctly.

The mailgirl's uniform includes her designated mailroom number written on her thighs, chest, and lower back for easy identification. She wears her MMU on her left bicep and a thick black leather collar with D-rings around her neck.

Any staff member can inspect a mailgirl’s uniform to ensure compliance with company standards. Failing inspection results in demerits and a required return to the Mail Room for a shower and uniform reapplication. This time is counted as off-duty and added to the end of her shift, or to the next shift if it is Friday.

A mailgirl is subordinate to all other staff members and must address them as “Ma’am” or “Sir.” She may only speak when spoken to and must always be respectful.

Between deliveries, mailgirls can rest only on designated mats, waiting for her next delivery while kneeling in view of all other employees.

The Mail Room serves as a locker room and the base of operations for the mailgirl program. It is equipped with one-way glass, allowing visibility from the outside while the girls see only a reflection. The viewing area includes a small café, and visitors from outside the company must pay a cover fee to enter.

Staff members are strictly prohibited from touching or harassing a mailgirl. Any misconduct will be investigated, and offenders will be immediately terminated and possibly face criminal charges. Consensual fraternization between a mailgirl and regular staff is also prohibited.

Mailgirl contracts are lucrative but last for two-year increments. If a mailgirl terminates her contract early, she must pay a prohibitive amount to Mailgirl Enterprises.

Most mailgirls are further incentivized with the offer of a clothed position at the company upon completing their contract.