My Best Friend's Magic Cock

"Hey dude. I'm just gonna grab a Dew and a sandwich from the kitchen. You want anything?"

You shake your head no, hoping the growing happiness inside you doesn't burst out and make you look . A friend! An actual college friend who likes videogames and reading and anime and all the other fun things that you thought you were going to have to pretend to forget about to make room for and strong opinions on team sports. Chuck is the small bespectacled miracle that you didn't dare hope for, but got anyway.

Knowing that he's out of the room, you permit yourself a little excited scream into the sofa cushion. You take a moment to bury your face in the soft texture too, knowing that now, finally, you don't have to be alone. And now that's out of the way, you can return to being a Cool Friend - ah.

There's suddenly a woman on the sofa. Draped over it, would be more accurate. Older, red haired, voluptuous. Carrying off a silk dressing gown with the grace of an evening dress. Her hands supporting a face that's at once welcoming and dominant. She's *smiling* at you. Did she just see your weird little pillow performance? Oh my god, she totally did. She's going to call you out, she's going to RUIN everything...

"Hello, my dear". A voice like a melody and a sunset collided. "Has my awful son left you here alone?" You nod, gormlessly, and she keeps on smiling that smile.

"I'll be back in a minute, mom!" Chuck's outraged voice comes from the kitchen, and the angel in front of you graces you with a little chuckle.

"My name is Valerie." She pushes herself up into a sitting position, and extends an immaculately cared for hand towards you. "And you are?"