In a cabin by the lake

Your name is George, and you're middle-aged widower, your wife Roslyn having died about a decade ago. That left you raising four children, two older boys, Dwight and Robert, and two younger girls, Danielle and Rachel, all alone. To say that it was a trial would be a massive understatement, but with the last one finally a freshman in college, they are all officially out of the house. Although a father's work is never done, you felt like you'd accomplished something by raising four mostly functional kids. So, shortly after you'd dropped your youngest girl off at college, you'd found a listing for a little lakeside cabin retreat a few hours from the city and bought it.

After a few weeks of wrangling repairs, you'd packed your stuff up this morning to head off to your new cabin for a long beautiful fall weekend. The weather report said it was going to be plenty warm this weekend, so you had your bathing suit and a fishing rod in the trunk to swim and hang out at the lake. You drive the hour and a half north to the small town that your cabin is in, blasting tunes from your younger years the whole way.

Catching a glimpse at yourself in the rear view mirror, you take a moment to look at yourself. You have cropped red hair and a ginger beard that has gone a bit sandy now that plenty of grey hair is interspersed with the red ones. You're a big bear of a man, about 6'2", very sturdily built with a bit of a belly and covered all over with red hair.

You're driving up the last stretch of road that leads up to your cabin. You're about five miles away when you pass...