Hip-Hop Free Style

Yo I woke up this morning, or was it afternoon?
Oh shit, I'm supposed to be at work soon.
I jump out of bed, get my ass in the shower,
It takes me about a quarter of an hour
dry myself off, smellin like herbal essences
Grab my phone and check my messages:
got a message from work sayin' I been fired,
So I say "fuck it," n go back to bed cuz I'm still tired.

I woke up again, no longer hung over,
Rubbed my eyes and summoned the will to roll over,
Checked the time and it's about time for dinner.
I went to the bar cuz I'm a gluttonous sinner.

Ordered myself a beer and a heap of chicken wings,
Took a sip and I said to myself, "Tonight, my life begins,
I got no job, no prospects, no way of gettin' paid,
but I'm gonna get drunk, then I'm gonna get laid,
I got nothin', so I got nothin' to lose"

Then to the bar girl, "Bar Girl! 3 shots of booze!"