Healthy Paranoia ..

My natural paranoia can be a questionably personality trace. Questionable in many aspects, mental health not necessarily excluded. Still, it is serving me well here.

I was born on a planet named Earth, in a Third World country (the less graduated in this classification, no Fourt World to speak about). Enjoyed a nice life. No wife, no children, nothing like a long-term professional goal or career project. Little before I reach 52 and start looking at what my elderly ages would be with minimal retirements found in a contracting economy I contracted a bacterial infection that was trend on the planet at that moment. Died from it. Ina a corridor of a public hospital. Alone.

Neither great not bad. As far as those things can go, I see no big reason of regret from my part. Except, maybe, that I died without being a father. Without raise some sort of child, preferable from my own blood, but, you know, some. Leave something of myself behind, other than a decomposing corpse.

As I said, nothing too important. In the end, all things considered, mine was a decent life.

I was curious to find out if there was something waiting, after ****. When darkness closed on me, my last though, sad if I am being honest, was “well, I guess not”.

Then, of course. I woke in thins place, with vague memory of a dream that felt impossibly long, emotionally changed, and confuse.

I was tired, cold, covert in goo and evey muscle in my body was in burning pain. Breathe was the worse agony, demanding so much effort that everything else seemed tolerable by contrast. All was out of focus, I could not see clearly.

After sometime I felt sleep again, this time without dreams I can remember.

Took me best half of the next day to realize that was not some sort of Hell in the afterlife. I had just experienced my on birth.

I was uncertain if that was a vivid memory or something else.

Do all newborn babies have this experience, with clear memory of their past life? I could remember my name, last address, my face in the mirror as it was days before I walk myself to the hospital. My first sexual experience, when I was 16. The moment before I pass out in the entrance of that hospital where I would, I believe, die. My table in the kitchen of my apartment. Could not remember a thing from the passage between lives, but perhaps that is normal? I wondered.

Or that was me still dying from the bacterial infection in that hospital?

Somehow, I did not believed that could be the memory of my birth, 52 years before. Because I was born in a hospital on the city where I lived most my life. On Planet Earth. The sounds where I was didn’t seemed like what I imagine people hear in a nursery.

Next day I was getting used to the pain. Take air in my lungs still requires a lot of effort, every time, but my surroundings started making some sense to me.

That was definitely a house, a home, not a public place. My parents house, I had to assume given the circumstances. Fine couple, they looked like.

No sign of electricity, oil lamps instead.

So, this is either the time after some apocalypse, fall of civilization, lost of technology. Or some strict religious community obsessed with recreate a distant past. Or, not Earth.

I was still able to remember who I am, and move my arms and legs was still a challenge to me. The language being spoken around me was completely strange, no familiar word I could be sure about. The voices I was able to identify.

My situation continued evolving from that point for the next couple years. I as expecting to lose my memories any time. On the same time, I was also trying constantly to remember what babies are supposed to do during their first months and years.

Keep track of time was another challenge. Along with learn the language spoken by the adults and figure out what kind of place was this.

Clearly, they had the seasons well defined, with harsh winters, so I at least knew this land was not in tropical zone.

Eventually I realized that was some sort of Medieval Fantasy Role Play Game world. To use the closest category available to me. Because, there is magic spells, videogame like magic spells, here.

I got that the first time I saw mother using a hand gesture and a few sentences to heal a superficial cut in her finger. O course, I became fixated in the idea of learn this thing.

She had used this same spell on me a few times already, but I as not sure yet it the apparent effect was objectively real magic or just placebo. See the small cut closing ended my doubts.

I found no book in the house. There was a number of scrolls and tablets with things written on them. Those tablets were used by my parents to read bedtime stories to me. What was how I managed to learn the language during those two years. Fortunately the scrolls about magic in the house were in the same language of those bedtime stories.

I studied the stuff frenetically. Careful to hide my activities from vigilant eyes of adults.

Managed to learn a spell that creates a small flame in the air, that lasts for few moments. Father used it to light oil lamps and candles, sometimes.

Strangely, most the time he uses fire stones for the same purpose.

Along with that spell there was the one to heal superficial wounds. One to create the equivalent to a mug of fresh water. There was a spell to protect metal tools, or weapons, from deterioration and keep their edge sharp, for a couple of days only. And a spell to dry clothes, without take them out, that worked only in one person at the time. Didn’ t seemed like much, but considering the harsh winters perhaps that one was useful some now and them.

Them there was a spell to find lost things or people. You need to know what you want to find. That one was more difficult than all the rest combined. Considerably more. Took me a long time to get it right. Also, the physical effort to make the spell was huge.

Range of effect was disappointing too. Only a couple days of walk. What I assumed should be the equivalent to few dozen kilometres.

At first, I could barely stay awake after the simplest spell. With practice, I lost count of how many times I could cast them, one after the other.

My disappointment was that those were the only spells I could find in the house.

Still, I resisted the urge to ask people about. Kept those explorations secret. Was a good decision to keep it secret!

When I was 4 and starting to understand the society outside my family home I finally understood why magic was so unfrequently used.

By one side everybody in this world seems to be, in theory, able to learn magic.

In civilized villages like ours all children go to school to learn how to write. Learn about the world, the History of their nation. Our nation, I suppose. A bit of domestic economy, perhaps, small practical skills maybe. Between 7 and 12, each child tries to learn a basic spell. Like make water spell. I doubt any sane adult would pick the fire thing to teach. I wouldn’t.

Depending on the quality of the teacher anything between one in 5 and half the students manage to learn the spell.

That is important, because every person is born with a limited amount of magic fuel, mana let’s call it.

Once you master a spell your teacher can know your limit of mana. Most people can make 2 spells of this simple kind each week.

That is not very practical to do anything, and would not justify the hour of day practicing, every day, between 7 and 12 years. Say nothing about the lessons and study of theory.

You need to be able to use a basic spell at least 3 times a day to have any chance to learn the next level of spells.

Those who can do that, and learn at least 2 level 2 spells more a dozen of level 1 qualify as village mages. If you can make only 3 basic spells a day, you can make 1 level 2 spell every couple days. That is not a lot of high magic circulating. You could not expect a society to depend on it for most practical things needed for its survival. Still, a village mage like that is useful, and not all villages have one available. They usually are the ones teaching magic to children.

If they manage to learn magic theory a little beyond the basic, the village mages can graduate into certified mages. To make a living with a little more comfort, teaching those who teach the children.

According to the conversations between adults that I happened to hear by chance my late grandmother had been a village mage.

Any writing with more than a basic spell is very expensive. My father was selling that location spell scroll to pay some debts and get us the necessary for that winter. The year had been particularly harsh for our family. I imagine situation was not great before that, due to the expenses related to the first child of the couple, recently born.

The weather was bad for the crops cultivated by my parents to help pay the bills. Mother makes bread and cakes to sell in the market, higher prices and lower demand didn’t help.

Father is a hunter, mostly. When the city needs a guard he makes better money in that function. It usually happens for at least 2 weeks every year, due to the seasonal Market Festival. Those coins usually get the family the necessary supplies to endure the winter. Often there is some extra, because less reputable people follow those merchant caravans and often lingers for a while after the festival officially end.

Unfortunately, that year the annual market was cancelled. Some crisis in the south, war I think, more bad weather in the north keeping merchant roads closer for longer than usual. Without caravans from those important distant lands local merchants didn’t saw enough reason to make the travel to our town.

We are close to the north-east border of our country. The only thing that makes people in the capital remember our province exists is this annual festival.

Fortunately I was able to make the location spell by myself now, the sell of the scroll was not a huge lost.

I was radiant to realize how rare and special my talent was. Doing my best to find other magic scrolls. Finally, hidden in a locked box, behind a secret door, in our basement, I found a treasure. Actual books, ant they were about magic.

This was clearly from that deceased grandmother if mine. Old lady was clearly some shady character in her days.

There was a basic spell to create an aura of silence for a couple minutes around the spellcaster. Another to open or close a lock without the key. Yet another of couple minutes of duration to hear sounds at distance, like a whispered conversation in another room. There was a level 2 spells to easily climb vertical walls and ceilings for 2 hours, rum through water from half that time, pass through up to 6 meters of solid material. And an invisibility spell of up to a couple minutes. Also, a sleeping spell, that would put someone in coma for about one hour.

Sure, you can think about some legitimate reason for each one of those spells. Still, you have to admit, the combination is somewhat suspicions.

Truth, there was a basic spell to fix clothes. One level 2 to preserve all food inside a small room for one year. A basic spell to magic make up and another to change hair colour, even a different one to change eye colour. As much as the improved version of that healing spell, able to mend broken bones and cure more serious injuries. All that looks legit enough. Sort of thing your average housewife would be interested in keep at hand, I suppose. Nothing suspicious about those. Still, that was far too much magic for a village mage to have hanging from her belt!

Along with this book of spell there was some others, about magic theory and history. Finally!

I desperately needed that last one, more than I could have imagined.

Those who learn spells with little effort are not too rare. They are few important individuals. If that talent is accompanied by the capacity to use between 10 and 50 basic spells a day, well, that is what makes the genius. Those people give their names to large magic cabals and important libraries.

Beyond 50 basic spells a day, we find legendary types involved in the foundation of nations.

However, there is a different sort of gifted mage.

Those born with memory of a past life in some different world. They have no limit for their magic. Their mana pool grows as they use magic. It can grow indefinitely.

This people are considered dangerous demons. The worse tragedies in History are product of some of those individuals. That is the reason why this people need to be identified immediately;

As soon as possible.

Any baby showing signs of being one of those monsters is killed immediately. The body kept to be carefully destroyed by specialized monster hunters.

You imagine how happy I was reading this. For being this paranoid person I am.