God Mod

On a message board that hasn't had a serious update to its formatting in the better part of a decade, h-games are deposited, and links to download terabytes of illicit images are stored, from the most well-known vanilla games to the sickest things that aren't hosted on anything but the darkest part of the internet. For one hour one night, a link was posted, and the subsequent zip file was downloaded by only about a couple hundred people. That zip file contained an APK that was a little over a gigabyte, and a text file labeled "READ_ME.rtf" That file reads:

Thank you for installing God Mod Version 0.0.012.47!

With this application, You'll be able to change your life, world, and everything in between! I'm Lita, your V.I. guide!

Due to certain pacts made with certain higher (and lower) powers, you have been granted access to the ability to bend the world around you to your whims, but sadly, since one of the entities that we are working with is an Axiomatic within your world, there are some stipulations to the changes that you can make, and the beings you can interact with. As a deterrent, the violation of these rules will be impossible within the app, as the violation of these rules will result in the destruction of your plane of existence. Lol. [Any attempts to alter or hack the code of the app will result in immediate uninstallation, and any alterations made to the universe reverting, but the memory of all events will remain]

Rule 1: Beings that can provide Consent; While this app can be used to warp the minds and bodies of beings into whatever you wish, you cannot grant sentience and salience to something that did not in some way have it. This means you can't bring your favorite video game character to life, but you can turn your best friend into them. While you can't make your cat your girlfriend, you can turn your girlfriend into a cat girl. Also, the bodies, minds, and wills of people under the age of consent within the universe you're using this in cannot be influenced, though temporal adjustments to the entire world can be made, and people beyond the age of consent can be summoned, as the adults they are, regardless of where they are within the time stream.

Rule 2: Make Love, not war; The app cannot be used to directly end the existence of a being. Any sort of teleportation of a being into a deadly scenario will revert to them being where they were, unharmed, at the moment they would have been harmed. The app cannot impart the will to end the life of another person. The app can make weapons and impart skills, but any damage done exists on first-person shooter rules, reverting after a few moments to heal up.

Rule 3: One user per Account; as you can imagine, while this app is only a gigabyte of data, it does hold an insurmountable amount of power. As such, you are the only person who can use this specific license of the app. For lack of a better term, a 'Code' has been tied to your 'Soul', and while you can make copies of yourself, only you, the primary user, will be able to interact with the app. Any other people attempting to use your license of the app will only see, as a universal constant, Flappy Bird. They can even play it!

Those are the big three, and should explain any inability to do whatever weird stuff you want to get up to!