Giving "Guidance"

Chapter 1- The Virgin

I wipe the sweat from my brow as I take another sip of my iced coffee. Jesus it's been so hot lately, I wonder if the schools air conditioners are on the fritz again. You would think with how much money this place has the principal would spar no expense on something so important. Sheesh, I can never fully understand that woman, even for someone like me she is a genuine mystery.

*Beep!*

I set my coffee down and push the intercom button "Yes?"

Sarah's meek voice squeaks out of the speaker "Haley Kerchaval is here to see you."

I shake my head "Huh..." I say to myself before responding "Yeah uh... Let her in..."

Well this is definitely odd, Haley is the last person I would expect. The only times I've ever met with her was during a few mandatory meetings we have to discuss college applications and such. During them she was usually pretty emotionless or even a little hostile. I didn't think much of it though, honestly I assumed that whole thing was part of her act, she really likes to lean into the goth persona. It's natural, everyone struggles to figure out who they are in highschool.

*Click*

The handle on my door turns and Haley slowly walks in. I immediately have to steady myself, I'm extremely disturbed by the way she is dressed but I can't let myself show it. I understand that her apparel is just an attempt to externalize her personality, and potentially to fit in with her clique... But as a man with a daughter around her same age I can't help but feel its inappropriate. For a woman who is so strict I'm shocked the principle is so lax on the dress code.

She gives an uncharacteristic sheepish nod "Hey Mr. Davis..."

Her bright blue hair shines in the soft light of my office, only being out shined by her electric blue eyes. Her pearl white skin contrasts her black lips stick, black nails, and black attire. Her black T-shirt is for some band that I've never heard of, but its barely legible with how ripped up it is. The rips expose her surprisingly toned abs and her black and purple lacey bra that grips tightly to her small bust. Her black jeans are much the same, large rips expose an alarming amount of her pearly white thighs.

I take a small breath and muster a smile "Well hello Haley, it's good to see you"

She gives a nod "Yeah um... Yeah..."

This is seriously odd, she normally is so cool and collected.

"Well uh... Here have a seat and tell me how I can help you."

She slowly sits down with her legs together, her hands gripping her knees nervously.

"Um... Well... So... I wanted to thank you for getting me into my first choice for college..."

I nod "Your welcome.... But honestly it was your hard work that got you in, I barely did anything."

She looks up and gives a small smirk, then looks down again "So yeah... Um... I can talk to you about like... Like anything right? And you can't like... Disclose it or whatever..."

I sit up a little "Of course Haley... Anything you say in this office stays in this office... Please tell me what's on your mind."

She fidgets nervously "Ok... So um... The reason I wanted to go to that college specifically is because I have a uh... Boyfriend now..."

I nod as I stare intently.

"We started dating like a month ago... He's really like, popular and plays sports or whatever... I never thought in a million years I'd be with someone like him, he's not really my type but... I don't know... When we're alone he's like really sweet and dorky... And like a nerd..."

I nod "Well that's great Haley..."

Everything about this is bizarre but I'm genuinely curious what her concern is.

She again smirks "Yeah... I've never really dated before, I'm probably like the only senior who hasn't, but it never really bothered me... I really didn't realize what I was missing out on until I met him..."

I stay silent as I nod again, sometimes it's best to just let someone vent uninterrupted.

"But he... He did date, like alot... That doesn't bother me either but now... Now I have a problem..."

Sheesh I don't have a good feeling about where this is headed. An excessivly independent and stoic girl like her starting to date, starting to open up like this, can either be extremely healthy... Or equally devastating.

"Ok so what is the problem?"

She takes a deep breath "I... I want to... Like... give him a b... blowjob... But I keep freezing up and like... Freaking out... I dont know why..."

I feel as though I've just taken the first drop on a roller-coaster. As much as I try not to I can't help but shift uncomfortably as I speak.

"Oh well... You know um... I'm not sure this is something we should... Um... It's not really sure this is something you should speak to me about... I think you should maybe speak to a close friend or..."

Her fists clench tight as she yells "I can't! And... And... You said we could talk about anything!"

I take a deep breath, she is clearly very upset, she is clearly seeking help. As much as I am uncomfortable with the topic I need to plow ahead.

"Ok Haley please don't be upset... I only meant that speaking to a man about such things might not be comfortable for you... But ok, how about you tell me why you can't talk to your friends about it."

She calms a little but her eyes get misty like she might cry "Well... I've been lying... To them... To everyone... I guess because of the way I look, the way I dress, people just assumed I was like... Like a slut or something... And instead of arguing I just played into it... I thought it was like cool or whatever... And it was easier than admitting I'm just a nerdy little virgin goth loser..."

I shake my head "That is no way to speak about yourself, those words aren't who you are, I know that for a fact... Now as far as the lying goes I can understand why that would snowball and get out of hand, I can also understand fearing the embarrassment of telling the truth... But you know I think that you would feel better if you did just own up to it."

Her face scrunches up "I can't do that! Gah! My boyfriends friends already think I'm weird, the last thing I need is for them to know I'm a virgin..."

I take a deep breath, I'm sweating at an excessive rate at this point. Both from the heat, and the stress of navigating the minefield I've stumbled into.

"Alright I can understand the pressure that puts on you... Have you tried talking to your boyfriend about it?"

She gives a whimpering "No..."

"Haley I'm sure he would understand... I'm fairly sure no young man would be upset to hear you don't have experience, but you would like to try something new... It would make no difference to most."

She shakes her head and begins to cry "You don't understand!... He's probably gotten a million blowjobs from girls prettier than me! And... And... I've already made him wait so long... And... He... He gets so hard when we kiss... He probably thinks I don't like him or... sex... Or... I just don't... I'm gonna mess it up and he'll know I lied... And then... We'll go to college and he'll find a girl who can... Then... Then I'll spend four years watching him date some rich blonde slut!"

Her outburst is more intense than I ever imagined it would be. I honestly never imagined this was such a serious problem for her. My heart breaks to see how much she has been bottling this up.

"Haley it's ok, please it's gonna be ok..."

She rubs her eyes "No... I... This was stupid... I shouldn't have come here... You can't help... Now you just think... I'm... Whatever! Fuck this! Forget I was here!"

*Bam!*

The door slams behind her leaving me in a stunned silence. I slump down and cradle my face in my hands.

I failed her...