Genderbender-Succubus

Interlude (It didn't even start, and it's already nonsense)

Okay guys, before I start to tell you this story, I have to make sure you are prepared.

This one is really weird, and it doesn´t make any sense at all. It's stupid and ugly and wears a pink tutu for some reason. And the fact that I can´t explain to you why is the fucking point. I, for example, and I don´t make this shit up, am a green 19.5-inch large demon with a 20-inch large dick (if erected). Yes, I know that's nuts but don´t tell me, I didn´t warn you. So, if you have a problem with bullshit, please stop reading, because bullshit is all you will get, believe me! In fact, you couldn´t find more bullshit if you would suddenly awake in an Argentinian beef farm. For example, even in this moronic prolog, you will meet a nymphomanic Angel, an evil Octopus, a talking train, and the most self-centered idiot who ever walked this earth, and he of all people is the main character. It just doesn't make sense! Trust me, I lived through this story, know that it happened, and still believe a drunken Cockroach with too much LSD for breakfast pulled it out of its ass. Okay, to be save, and to make this unambiguously clear, I don´t want to hear any complaints about silliness, or awkwardness, or that the events ( and they are all true) sound unrealistic or far-fetched. At one point, a mermaid will be fucked by a guy in a Teletubby costume. If you like to complain, take it up to the manager.

Okay, are we good? Sure?

Then I think it is time to introduce you to the unlikely stupid Mainmoron of this hideous story. Curtains up for Frank Frankster, the self-proclaimed manliest man alive:

Prolog: The damn consciousness

The train was so damn long, and it wouldn't shut the fuck up.

"So, I mean, who asked me? Did anybody think about what I would feel? I go on a straight line with not so many curves from fucking Tokyo to fucking Kyoto and back, and this every fucking day!"

Frank evaded a very well placed karate kick from one of the black ninja guys and gave him a powerful hook to the chin that made him fly against the train wall.

"I mean, its not a problem, if you don´t have a consciousness, in fact, I guess it could be kind of relaxing, but if you have one, pretty soon you start to ask your self why people are walking inside you and eating inside you and for the fucks sake shiting inside you while you drive with 200 miles an hour in a straight fucking line. For god's sake, some people even fuck inside of me! It´s just not right!"

"I hear you" Frank answered slightly unnerved and caught a guy with a katana who was jumping towards him in mid-air and smashed him against the window.

"It must be hard."

"Oh, you don´t know the most it. It's really depressing when everybody treats you like an object. I mean, just yesterday this moronic kid had this thing from Osaka, wait what's the name, these octopus balls... "

" Takoyaki?" one of the Ninjas who was trying to strangle Frank from behind asked.

" Yes exactly," the train screamed out of its speakers. " Tako Yaki with this horrible sauce and he tripped and splashed the whole thing on my freshly cleaned floor. They tried to get rid of it, but this damn sauce sticks and I don´t even mention the mayonnaise!"

"Oh, this sucks," Frank said, grabbed the Strangler by his hair and pulled him up smashing him against the ceiling.

Then he turned around and kicked another enemy right in his nuts. He wiped the sweat off his face and looked around. Six guys in black Ninja ropes, with swords and Nunjakoes and shit, were lying around in the wrecked train wagon. Most of the windows were broken, some cables hung from the ceiling, and one of the guys even stuck in the backrest of a seat.

"And now, as if my sad existence of a continuous train, I mean who in his right mind builds a continuous train, is not enough misery, you guys show up and beat me up like Rocky Balboa in Rocky One! Yes, I know the movie because some asshole streamed it yesterday. He was using my broadband of course without even asking nicely!"

"Oh yes, the movie sucks. Too much talking, not enough hitting. Listen, train: It was fun and all but I have to hurry, these guys are about to detonate a nuclear bomb inside of you, and we are entering Tokio right now..."

"Yes sir, arrival time is in 5 Minutes!" the train answered out of reflex.

"So maybe I´ll take a shortcut and save the world, what do you think?" Frank asked, and kicked one of the already broken windows out of the frame. Without even listing to the Train anymore he climbed out and up to the roof.