Cookies and MILF

I sat in silence as the Police Lab Technician activated the locator device strapped just above my left shoe. He pressed a couple of icons on his Tablet, and indicator lights illuminated on both the anklet and the control box sitting on the kitchen counter.

"Welcome to house arrest, John," he said with a devilish smile. "Remember what Dorothy said in the Wizard of Oz...? There's no place like home, there's no place like home? That's your new mantra. Learn it ... live it ... love it."

We went outside to the perimeter of our property to see just how far from the kitchen I could actually go before the Sheriff's Department got a signal that I was 'no longer in Kansas'.

We were barely able to reach the sidewalk in front of the house. Out back, I could reach the middle of the alley. That meant that I couldn't hang out with my school mate who lived across the alley, but that I could still take out the garbage, recycling, and compost every morning.

"Oh joy," I murmured as we continued on. "I'll totally cool with this as long as I can continue to do all of my chores, yippee..."

The sides of the property were a different story, however. I was able to walk the entire fence line with ease. By my best guess, I figured that on the one side I could probably reach Sally's pool and hot tub; and on the other side I could even get into the greater portion of Mona's house with ease.

With my voice low so that only the Technician could hear, I said, "Maybe I can go next door for cookies and MILF."

I smiled broadly, but the Technician only stared at me with a confused expression. I explained, still keeping my voice low, "My neighbors... there all my mother's age, but each and everyone of them is fucking hot!"

He still looked confused, so I just waved him off and asked, "Are we done here?"

We were, so with a final tap on his Tablet, the system was activated, he was gone, and I was going no where ... for 6 months!