Bro, Your Girlfriend is Crazy!

“Oh snap! Wireless clip buds! These aren't cheap, bro...” Meru pulled at the tight plastic wrap sealing the sleek black box. He couldn't pick at it with his short nails so he bared one of his sharp canines and dragged down the packaging, careful not to harm it.

“There...” He opened the box and stared down into a very fancy bed for two...

“Pink?” They were pink. Meru looked up at Kaid. The Aniyub had known the Gnoll boy for the better half of his life. They went through both stages of schooling together and even wound up living in the same city after Meru and him moved out of their respective homes. Meru could not wait to get away from his overbearing Mother and Sisters, but he was extra surprised to find that Kaid would leave his easy living situation.

“Oh shoot! Must've been a mixup, hah. All the boxes are black, see?” He pointed down with a clawed finger.

“Hmm.” Meru stared at it and although it said 'pink' in white writing on the black box, it was small. It was actually pretty understandable.

“Those bastards know what they're doing. Black is the most popular color so they're just gonna design this stuff to scam people... Sorry, Bro. Do you have the receipt?”

The Gnoll cackled nervously. “I threw it out.”

“Whaaaat?” Meru squinted at his friend.

“You wanted these so I didn't consider you'd return them.”

He stared down at the clips and picked one up. “They're too good to not use just because they're pink. I guess I'll endure it.”

“You can say it's ironic.” Kaid offered.

“Girls buy that stuff, right? Pink shirts and all that jazz.”

“Good thinking. Actually, I know someone that'll like these.” Meru smirked, clipping the other near the base of his other tall, fuzzy black ear. The clip buds worked as a solution to the problem of how in the world you make a product that allows a beastfolk with big sensitive ears to listen to music. Ear buds were designed early on since the drum shape was fairly obvious, however they excluded fifty percent of the worlds population. Meru tried them before. It was a nightmare with all of the addons required to make it work and the sound was awful. Either too loud or too quiet. Over the ear headphones were simply out of the question. The clips were the solution that came about as a result of tireless research to create the perfect consumer product for all markets. The wireless ones were the new, hottest toy on the market. Meru connected them to his HanComm and selected a song from his library.

“Oh!” His ears twitched wildly. They were turned up high but the sound did not actually damage his drum because the 'sound' was an illusion produced by precise vibrations in the ear itself from the clips. He shuddered before turning it down.

“The girls that love having their ears touched go to town with those on high, I heard.” Kaid said with a wide, tongue-out grin.

“Maybe try it one night.”

“You don't say.” With the volume at a reasonable level they actually felt and sounded heavenly. He closed his eyes and nodded his head. Without even realizing it his little tail began wagging.

“This... Is... Awesome.” He could move without wires getting in the way.

“Great gift, bro.”

“Hey, glad you like them! You mentioned hitting the gym lately and I thought of you when I saw them.”

“Sweet, yeah. This are gonna be sick at the gym.” Meru took them out and placed them in their little charging case.

“You know, I've been thinkin' of goin' to the gym as well.”

“Why?” Meru looked over the Gnoll. With the powerful frame and metabolism of an Incarnate there was almost no point for him.

“Oh. I get it.” He winked at Kaid.

The Gnoll blinked. “You do?”

“You wanna pick up girls.”

The Gnoll relaxed. “Hah! True. Ya got me!”

“Horny bastard.” Meru slapped Kaid on the bicep. The Gnoll cackled quietly to himself.

“There's tons at the gym I go to. Come to mine and we'll 'feast' you know?”

“Great!”

-

Meru side-eyed Kaid in the locker room after their workout. When Meru lifted weights, Kaid lifted more. When Meru ran, Kaid ran faster. It progressed like that for several sets. Then there was the fact that as Meru looked at Kaid standing beside him in the mirror the Gnoll was positively ripped out of his mind. Body builder physic; six pack abs, big biceps. Meru's eyes trailed down to the towel wrapped around his waist. He felt a large paw slap his back.

“Wanna compare sizes?” Kaid offered, half-joking.

“No!” Meru blushed. He absolutely did not. He did not even want to think about it with his modestly-sized pecker. He suspected Kaid was packing.

“You showering?” He asked curiously.

“I sweat through my mouth.” The Gnoll remarked.

“Oh. Well I don't.” He smiled, knowing Kaid had no reason to go in. Meru unwrapped the towel around his own waist and walked into the shower. As he passed the the line into the wet tile room he heard behind him:

“Hell, I could use a soak. Got any extra fur shampoo?”

“Yah... Just don't use the whole bottle, alright. I only buy this stuff for my ears and tail. The rest is a different bottle. He had his little caddy with him with the bottles he used.

“Sick!” Kaid threw his own towel down and stepped past. Meru watched him walk under one of the shower heads and turn the nob. Steaming water poured down over the Gnoll.

“Isn't that hot?”

“I don't mind.”

Meru reluctantly slid into the shower one spot over and stood off to the side as he turned the nob. The water came down and he adjusted it a few time until it was just right.

“You're such a priss!” Kaid cackled, reaching out to smack Meru's but with the back of his hairy hand.

“Come on!” Meru turned and stared the Gnoll down. As he did, Kaid angled towards him slightly. He got a look at the monster. It was a muscular thing. It was obviously soft but even while soft it was engorged and pulsing. It looked like a separate living organism to the Gnoll, almost. Meru recoiled seeing it. He quickly stepped back under the perfect water and attempted to wash that image from his eyes.

“Uuugh.”

“What were you looking at?” The Gnoll waggled his brows.

“Your... Muscles.” Meru lied.

“How you going to look so fit when you're a data analyst and you don't work out...”

Kaid rubbed his chin. He got an idea. “You ever heard of semen retention? Hand me that fur bottle, bro.” He held out his hand.

“I haven't, and give me a second...” Meru squirted some into his hands, then lathered the fur around his perky ears, then reached back with some difficulty to lather his tail.

“I'm waiting...” Kaid said impatiently.

“This takes time even when I do it at home, dude! Chill... Or bring your own soap.”

“Fuck it.”

“Huh?” Meru watched as in almost slow motion Kaid took some of the lather from Meru's hands and then reached back to shampoo his tail. His full body shuddered and his tail squirmed from someone else touching it. Meru was stunned. As soon as it was lathered properly and Kaid let go, his tail stood up.

“Th-the hell was that!”

“Now you're done.” Kaid grinned, baring sharp white teeth. He held out his hand. Meru's cheeks reddened deeply as he slapped the bottle into the Gnoll's paw.

“Thanks.” he winked.

“S-semen, retention?”

“Yeah!” Kaid exclaimed. A bit too excited to be talking about semen by Meru's estimation.

“It provides 'masculine energy.' Fighters swear by it.”

Meru joked. “I couldn't go a day without wacking it, so I doubt that would work for me.” With the water running over Kaid's face it was impossible to see how much the Gnoll was salivating, actually.

“Y-yeah? Heh... I think I know a way to help you out if you wanna try it.” He handed Meru an empty bottle.

“You fucking kidding me?” Meru's eye twitched.

“Sorry bro, I'll get you back. How about I foot the bill to help you out with what we're talking about.”

“You better!” Meru demanded.

After a few minutes they both left the shower. Meru reached into his back and pulled a package of wipes. The Gnoll observed him with wide eyes.

“Oh! You use those?”

“Soft disinfectant wipes graded for skin care. They're the best things for cleaning our ears. You don't?” Meru was a little shocked. Gnolls weren't too different from average Beastfolk when it came to ear care. He tilted his head to one side and stuffed the wipe into his ear wrapped around his thumb. He wiped and pulled it out, then did the other. He was satisfied to see very little on it.

“Can you do me?” Kaid asked in a tone that read as a little bit pathetic.

“Do it yourself...” Meru handed the package over.

Kaid held up his hands innocently. “Big hands.”

Meru huffed. “Fine.” He tucked his towel extra tightly and walked in front of Kaid. He held his Friend's ear and went in with his thumb just like he did for himself.

“Hmm...” As he pulled it out he was shocked to see the dirty wipe.

“Y-you never clean your ears or something!?”

“I put water in them...”

“That's the OPPOSITE of cleaning them, idiot. I bet you don't even properly dry your fur.”

“Nope.” The Gnoll shook his head.

“Where do you learn this stuff?” As Meru was obsessively cleaning out Kaid's ears, Kaid was staring directly at Meru's slender waist intently.

“Dunno why you're working out. You look great...” He muttered under his breath.

“Heh.”

Meru ignored that last sentence. “I watch this girl's channel on NuTube.” He reached over and grabbed his HanComm to bring up the latest video. It started playing: Kaid couldn't see it and didn't care but he heard. 'Welcome back to Girl With The Beastfolk. Today I fell in LOVE with a pair of young Fox twins-' The video stopped.

“Anyway, you get the idea. She's a groomer and I but some of her stuff online and listen to everything she has to say about taking care of my fur and stuff. Worked so far.”

Kaid exhaled through his nose, then inhaled deeply. “You always smell... Really nice.”

“Thanks.”

He closed his eyes and without thinking wrapped his hands around Meru's waist. “W-woah!” The beastfolk slipped away.

“Ah! Sorry. I was just thinkin' about how you're pretty fit already, bro.”

“Sure.” Meru sighed.

“But look, don't touch.”

“Got it.”

“You better pay me back with that stuff you promise, man. I have to order this stuff online... It isn't cheap.”

“Yeah. With pleasure.” Kaid grinned, then could not help but cackle excitedly.

-

“What'd you say this was?” Meru asked. He was straining to keep it on. The little cage slid over his member, trapping it inside. To keep it locked up and out of reach there was a secondary ring around his balls that pouched them and effectively kept it firmly in place. There was no way for him to slip it off unless he had the little key to unclip the ring from the cage itself.

“Semen retention device.” Kaid technically wasn't lying. It was just a very roundabout way to reach that result.

“Cool. Where's the key?”

“Key?” Kaid asked innocently.

“Yeah, dude... The KEY. To get this thing off. It's UNCOMFORTABLE and I don't LIKE it. I'd rather do something different. It's fucking... Straining my dick right now. I can't even get hard.”

“Are you getting hard?” Kaid diverted the subject.

Meru glared at him. “You stick your dick in something and see if it doesn't, asshole!”

He licked his chops. “Is that an offer?”

“Funny joke, dude. Where's the key.”

Kaid scratched his head. “It must not have come with one. I'll check the packaging again but I thought it was just a clip on and off because it didn't come with one.”

“Well it isn't, and it should!” Meru shouted.

“Why're you so mad?”

“Wouldn't you be mad if your cock was locked up!?”

“Yeah.” He chuckled.

“But... Well...”

“What?”

“Not exactly a great loss for yours to be locked up. You don't got much going on down there anyway.”

“Ugh... Great. More jokes.” Meru crossed his arm and rolled his eyes. The two were in Meru's room. The slender Aniyub was in a tied bathrobe.

Kaid's eyes devoured the sight and then, abruptly as he was wondering if he should finally just tilt their relationship over the edge he curled a big finger under the tie and pulled it apart. Meru gasped as the robe opened, showing off his caged cock and his lithe little body.

“You're so hot.” Kaid panted, rushing him. Meru fell back onto his bed. He stared up with wide eyes as Kaid was over him in a flash, strong arms on either side of his head. Meru glances to the left and right, then looked down. With Kaid over him, it was like he was in a big cage. His big head leaned down and the Jackal could feel hot breath on him. It smelled. He cringed and turned his head. Oddly enough, it was not completely unwelcome. Kaid as well thought Meru would have more of a reaction. When it was fairly muted he reached down and let his cock flop out, draping over Meru's caged member completely.

“This... This is a cock.”

Meru looked down and covered his mouth. “Holy hell...” The member was resting over his belly. It was so warm and he could feel a heartbeat through it.

“Can you get off?”

“Yeah...” Kaid nodded, sliding his hardening member back.

“Thanks.”

“Don't thank me yet.” Kaid lifted one of Meru's legs up. As his cock fully slid off of the Aniyub's form the Gnoll pushed forward, aiming lower. The fur on Meru's ears and tail stood up as Kaid's cock prodded at his pucker insistently.

In a jarring twist Meru gulped and felt a hint of excitement and arousal. His member twitched within the cage and leaked a little in absence of being able to grow as it usually did. It strained somewhat painfully.

“It's gonna be too big...” Meru complained weakly, instead of just asking Kaid to get off like he did before.

“I'll go slow... I've been waiting a long time for-”

The door opened and both boys heads turned on a swivel. Meru's eyes were open wider than they ever had been and he began to sweat profusely. His face turned a new color completely. Kaid froze, the head of his cock still prodding Meru's ass halfheartedly. He didn't actually want to fuck him today, but how it looked, with one leg held up and the two in position to go at it like animals...

“Oh. My. God.” It was Melony, Meru's tentative girlfriend. She was shocked and stood at first as just a dainty human silhouette in the doorway. The girl had light brown hair and vibrant gold eyes. She was a bit of a fitness fanatic, which explained Meru's sudden interest. Kaid did not fully know about Meru's woman until she opened the door. If he had, and knew she had a key, he may have been a bit more subtle. Surprise faded in her, but not the boys as she crossed her arms tightly over her impressive chest and looked at them incredulously.

“Well? Go on, then.”

“What.” Kaid and Meru both said as one. They looked at each other, then back at her. Kaid was worried because he did not want to go all the way right away; he was just carried away. Meru was nervous and anxious because he had no idea what Melony would think of him. He definitely did not choose to be in this position, but he didn't necessarily resist as much as he could have.

She motioned to Kaid. “Fuck-” Then pointed to Meru.

“Him.” She said nothing else and watched impatiently.

The Gnoll was starting to panic. He opened his mouth and panted, drooling a bit down onto Meru's face. Meru spat and sputtered.

“Dude!”

“I sweat through my mouth!” He yelled.

Melony grinned, cheering it on. She lifted her hands, balled into fists, pumping. “Yeah! Spit on him!”

“The fuck is wrong with her?” Kaid whispered.

“I don't know.” Meru whispered back.

“I met her online... She said she loved the way I looked...”

“Oh.” Kaid nodded slowly.

“What?”

He gulped. “Nothing.” Then Kaid breathed.

“I'm not ready to f- do stuff with him and he isn't either. I was just playing...”

“Bullshit... He even has a cock cage on. That's not a casual toy! You two are totally a couple.”

“Cock cage?” Meru stared harshly.

“It technically IS a semen retention device...” Kaid offered.

“L-look. We aren't ready. I don't even got lube or anything.”

“Yeah. Melony relax!” Meru begged.

“If you don't have lube...” She walked over to sit beside them casually.

“Then Meru's got a choice to make... He's either got to lick your cock until it's nice and sloppy or endure being fucked without any to help him.” She smiled brightly.

“M-mel....” Meru whimpered.

“Stop it. You're being mean again.”

“Oh shut up...” She rolled her eyes.

“Are you two pussies really not going to fuck?”

“Definitely not!” Kaid pulled back. Despite being a tiny, toned Human the woman gave of an incredible aura. She felt intimidating even too the even-foot tall Gnoll.

Meru breathed and stared up at Kaid affectionately. “Thanks bro.”

Kaid blushed beneath his fur. “No problem. I- I don't actually wanna hurt you.”

Melony narrowed her eyes at the two of them and grumbled. “We're going to work on this.”

***

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