A free stay at Isla Placer

Many people don’t know about Isla Placer. It’s a few miles off the coast of Cuba, a small but comfortable stretch of land that seems a living contradiction, containing a forest, mountains, beaches, and a desert. The indigenous people of the island, many centuries ago, called it Bibiaga, and the Spanish conquerors called it Isla de San Pedro. It was, at different times, used as a trading post or a military training facility, but it was never permanently inhabited because of the lack of arable farmland.

In 1959-1960, when the Cuban Revolution drove the mafia out of the island, there was a brief attempt to set up a new resort in Isla de San Pedro, which was still controlled by the United States. Some of the infrastructure was built, but the plan was abandoned when it became obvious that plowing down forests to build a small hotel on this land would never be profitable. Still under mob control in the mid-70s, mob boss Giovanni Trentino willed the never-used estate to his youngest son. It was almost an insult to be given a useless piece of land, but Carlo was anxious to prove his worth. He came up with a brilliant idea: Rather than try to attract a large number of customers, he could attract a very small number of super rich clients. He hired men to rebuild the resort, with one hotel room.

Then, he set about pitching his new concept to the super rich. Imagine, an entire island all to yourself. Staff to clean, but you’ll never bump into them. A Caribbean paradise with you as the only inhabitant.

Within a few years, the resort of Isla de San Pedro exploded, with the one percent of the one percent renting a week for as much as a million dollars at a time. It quickly became obvious what the purpose was for most guests - it was a sex resort. A place to rekindle romance with your trophy wife, or to take your girlfriend on a “business trip” that your wife will never know about. So Trentino leaned into it. He renamed the resort Isla Placer - Pleasure Island - and made it all about fulfilling fantasies. He now offered packages that would include altering the landscape or infrastructure temporarily and hire actors/prostitutes to play roles. Now, the super rich could fulfill fantasies that weren’t possible in a bedroom.

Dream of being a pirate queen? Or pirate ****? Then for a week, Isla Placer will be a pirate stronghold. Have a medieval fantasy? The staff will place a castle facade on the buildings and the forests will be full of knights on horseback. Your fantasy is fucking an alien? Then the mountains will be a distant planet, inhabited by actors in professional makeup. You name it, you got it. If you can afford it.

As profits for Isla Placer skyrocketed, the US government took an interest. They wanted their cut, and the IRS began to aggressively attempt to collect taxes. Mob lawyers figured out a tax dodge: If they allowed a poor person to stay for free, and get all the same services, for a week, they could call it a “charity” and write off major taxes. Was it bullshit? Yeah. Worse bullshit than what America’s mega capitalists usually do? Not at all.

Enter our heroine. Somehow, for whatever reason, she is chosen to stay at Isla Placer for a week.