A Way With Words

I’m heading out on a blind date with a Woman named Eve, it’s been a rather long dry spell since me and my Ex, Kate, called it off. My co-worker Claire, whom I always considered a little meddling and A LOT annoying, had suggested we may be a good match for each other. From what I was told by Claire, Eve has a lot going for her, smart, funny, kind... Sounds like every other “plain Jane” I have dated, but, what the hell!

I walk into the downtown Toronto restaurant and am greeted by the Hostess. “I am meeting someone here, reservations under my name, Richard” I tell her.

She looks at me, I watch the gears turn in her head. I can tell shes not one who is going to make it in life on her brains.

As I begin to say who I am meeting a voice calls out to me “Richard! Over Here!” I instantly recognize Claire who is wearing a really low cut skirt… “What the hell is she doing here” I whisper under my breathe as I make my way to the table. I notice Claire looks slightly taken aback, perhaps she heard me?

As I sit down I notice mousy blonde haired woman is making her way to our table. She looks to be about 30ish, has bright green eyes, average height, nice curves and, to my estimation, a C-Cup bust. Her mouth is curved into a half-smile which forms a cute dimple on the right side of her face.

She’s a “Sarah plain and not tall” I note to myself. All-in-all though, she is pretty cute.

Just then, Claire pipes up “Richard, good to see you! I was here with some friends from the office when I saw Eve! She told me you guys were having dinner here so I thought I would do a formal introduction. So Eve, this is Richard. Richard, this is Eve!”. I roll my eyes and scoffed “Well Claire, I don’t know what we would do without you, you are a regular cupid…”

Claire’s eyes flared briefly, I was about to add some extra wise crack when Eve, sensing the building tension, spoke up. “Hi Rich, it’s nice to finally meet you, Claire has been telling me all about you..”

Eve is quick to break up the tension and we begin having a conversation. Eventually, Claire returns to wherever the hell she came from and we order our dinner. I find myself charmed by this woman, she is how Claire described her but so much more. As we talk I discover she works in marketing and travels frequently, her favorite foods are all spicy and he favorite movie is some Rom-Com I don’t try and remember the name of.

As our plates of food come out Eve says “ The food smells great, I hope it’s as good it smells”. “Well I hope the foods better than the service” I say expecting a laugh “ This guy is as slow as a sloth and as attentive as a ADD kid.” I don’t get the reaction I planned on. Eve half smile and dimple fade away and she looks down at her plate as it’s set in front of her. I can tell she is not to keen on ADD jokes.

“Oh, sorry, not that funny, sometimes I go a bit to far” I tell her. The smile and dimple come back and everything is merry again.

After dinner and some drinks we order our dessert. Sure enough, the waiter takes an eternity to get us our food. When it finally comes out, as the waiter leans in close to place my plate I whisper so Eve can’t hear, “At the speed you move, Granny over there would probably beat you in a foot race”.

He immediately turns towards me fists flying. He hits me square in the jaw. I took it a little to far I guess? Prepping for a fight I roll up my sleeves just as Eve stands up and walks toward the waiter. Instantly, his muscles relax. He walks up to me and apologizes, and offers dinner for free.

“What did you say to him?” I ask. Eve pull up the right side of her mouth in that cute grin and say “ I just have a way with words I guess”.

Six Months Later

Eve and I have been dating for half a year and I must admit that I have fallen head over heals for her. The woman is kind and affectionate to everyone, and people seem that way to her too! I have trouble staying away from her to long.

Things in our relationship are almost perfect and very seldom do we come to any disagreements or fights. I find that most of the times we have an argument are when I say what is on my mind to someone OR she does something without thinking about the consequences. I am very reserved in telling her what I think about those instances, better to keep my mouth shut there!

Case in point, this evening we are meeting Claire for dinner as a “going away” party for Eve. Eve has a project she is working on in Spain and will be gone for a month starting this upcoming weekend. No, it is not Eve going away that she should be thinking the consequences over, it’s the fact we are meeting Claire.

I hate Claire, her personality grates on me and she dresses like a prostitute. I don’t mind looking at her and her large ass but it says a lot about a person when you can almost see their snatch when they sit down. I am surprised Eve does not notice our disdain for each other.

As we arrive at the restaurant for dinner Eve says with a grin “Please be on your best behavior tonight, I don’t want to talk people out of fighting you”. It’s funny, Eve has talked a few people out of being angry at me over that past few months. She really does have a way with words.

Soon enough we are joined by Claire who sits across the table from me. She rolls her eyes at me when Eves back in turned. “You’re a Royal Bitch” I mouth her her under my breathe.

We start the night off with a number of drinks. It’s obvious no one is walking away from this sober. After some time Claire starts to talk about work, specifically how their Sales department has been under preforming the past few months. As I am the Manger of Sales this is obviously a directed barb at me. I very drunkenly declare, “Maybe if our large assed AR woman would stop snacking on candy and stop flashing her twat to the salesmen we would all be better off”

Eve turned on me instantly and whispered “Enough! I have had it with your loud month, it’s so crude sometimes. I love you but wish you would just stop with the barbs all the time.” Her half-smile came back, it kind of looked sexy with her glassy drunken eyes. “I have been thinking about this for awhile” she said, “If you won’t be a better person on your own will power, I’ll have to help you”

Eve whispered something I could not understand, the world around me seem to grow slightly dimmer. I started to freak out. “You remember how I always have a way with words? Well, I really do.” Claire said while beaming at me. “I have a bit of an affinity for Hexes and Spells and I just placed a fun little one on you. You like using colorful language and insulting people? I don’t, but lets see what happens when I say something to you?” She giggled and said “You are shorter”.

Instantly, I could tell something happened. I looked at Claire, who was laughing her huge ass off and noticed I was now looking UP at her. I was about to scream when Eve said “You are Calm”. I was.

“So here is how this spell works, if I say you are something and you hear it, then, well you are that thing” she continued, “but try not to make me angry otherwise the magic becomes more potent. It goes from you simply becoming what I say to really being that thing. Reality will alter around you as if that is how you have always been but you will still be yourself in a way. Oh, don’t worry I won’t turn your into anything terrible or weird, I love you too much for that.”

As I was calm I was able to think about the rationality of the situation. Be myself sort of? Reality altering? What the fuck was happening? I ask “Well what happens if you shift reality so that we don’t know each other and you forget about me.” Eve smiles and shakes her head “Of course I would not do that to you, plus if something went wrong, I just need to say the Phrase “You are OK” and everything will be back to normal… I am bound to say it at some point. Plus I would always be aware of the actual reality” She laughs.

“Well I need to use the little girls room, Excuse me” Eve declares. She drunkenly walked away almost tripping as she went. I was calm but scared. How could I have not known about this before? I thought back to Eve whispering to people to calm them down and then it started to fall into place.

It was then I looked up to see the drunken Claire smiling at me. “Oh, her secrets out I guess, don’t go trying to get her to cast some spells on people now that you know! I have known since we were kids and it’s not in her nature to mess around with people. You must have really pissed her off to get her to do that to you. You look angry…”

Suddenly I sneered at her, my eye brown scrunched up and I showed my canine teeth. I could not help it…

“Oh shit! Looks like Eve fucked up the spell, looks like it’s not just her that can change you…” a smile crept onto her face. “I hate you Richard and I wish you were not dating my best friend but even if I said you were a single loser she would just fix things” I was totally freaked out and got up to walk away.

“You are sitting in that chair”she said. I was instantly in the chair. “So here we go! You secretly can’t stand Eve’s screw ups and you want to tell her how you feel about them” Claire told me. I did hate her screw ups, so many fucking mistakes, she never thinks things through. I was going to give her a piece of my mind once she came out. No, I was going to go tell her.

I got up and walked up the bathroom. I opened the woman's washroom door and barged in. Claire was in the stall alone pants around her ankles. I opened the door and yelled “What the fuck is wrong with you woman? You fucking suck at half the stuff you do and never think about what may happen? I have had enough of it!”

For the first time in my life I saw her really angry. I suddenly recalled what Eve said about anger making the hex more powerful. I then realized I was acting under the influence of the spell and I may not actually think this way about her... Fucking Claire! I needed to tell her she messed up the curse before she said something else.

“Wow, that's how this is? I am trying to help you and you do this to me? Forget about the curse” she said without thinking about it, “I feel like I should turn you into a dog or something but I am leaving for a month and don't want to really hurt you. So how about... you are a single guy? If I am not angry at you when I get back i'll come find you.” Suddenly my world grew dark.