[Alien Device]

John was by aliens! Or, at least that’s what he thinks happened.

John recalls walking home after work browsing the latest porn everyone was talking about.

“Woohoo! Those are the biggest I’ve ever seen!”

A tall waifish girl walking the opposite direction as him looked up at his exclamation and scrunched up her face in disgust.

“Gross pervert!” she yelled as she ran away and out of sight.

Shaking his head John whispered under his breath “I didn’t mean you, it’s not like you even had good ones...”

Suddenly a bright light filled his world and he knew no more.

“Shit!” he yelled after waking up.

However, his surroundings were different. He was in a dark room strapped to a table looking up at the ceiling. He was surrounded by a bunch of what can only be called alien shadow people on all sides and his body was restrained from his neck down.

“What the hell is going on here?!”

After muttering in an incomprehensible language amongst themselves for a while and shuffling their feet, the tallest shadow said something he could understand.

“Sorry.”

“Huh?” John’s eyebrows shot up in surprise.

“Oh, um, we apologize. Do you understand me human?

“Yes, I understand you, it’s just I didn’t expect you to say that. I thought you were going to say how I was your now or something about probing my butt.”

“Well, we have quite enough slaves and butt probing data to analyze at the moment, thanks for the kind offer though. Seeing how kind you are makes this even more difficult…”

“No, I wasn’t offer-”

“We actually accidentally you.” The alien quickly interjected.

This shut John up. ‘Accidentally’? How does that make sense John thought.

“We of the Alien Abduction Alliance would like to sincerely apologize. We take our business very seriously and an accidental abduction hasn’t occurred in nearly 5000 of your Earth years. As recompense, we provided the accidental abductee at that time a giant stone lion with a human head in his likeness. It was a monument to our failure and also of great use to the accidental abductee…”

The alien kept babbling nonsense for several minutes which John simply tuned out, nodding his head whenever it seemed appropriate. John still couldn’t get past the fact that there were aliens and that he was by them. Just like in the movies!

“….So that’s why we will gift you our latest [Alien Device] which has many exciting and fun features. Remember the [Alien Device]:

• Only has a set amount of power, and recharges on its own over time.

• If the [Alien Device] runs out of energy it will take at least 1 day to fully recharge.

• Different features consume different amounts of power. Some consume high amounts of energy, while some consume comparably very little energy.

• Be careful with which features you use, otherwise you may find yourself needing to wait for the [Alien Device] to recharge!

• Some changes and consequences can be difficult to undo once done.

Suddenly the restraints around John vanish. The alien hands him the [Alien Device] and waves his shadowy arm in a goodbye manner.

“Remember, by taking the [Alien Device] you have now accepted full responsibility and liability for anything you do with it. As you already agreed with our other stipulations nothing else needs to be said. We’ll be back in 500 years to collect the [Alien Device], if you have any problems bring them up then. Otherwise, know that you won’t be able to send us a message due to your primitive technology and the Alien Abduction Alliance moving to a far away galaxy where we can collect new foreign product and butt probe data.”

Finally coming to his senses John looked around flustered and at a loss for words. First, the alien was talking about the great sphinx and now he had an [Alien Device] in his hand? What’s going on? Liability? What does the [Alien Device] do again? He was so caught up in the moment that he lost track of the conversation.

The shadow aliens stood him up and began herding him to a corner of the room. The tallest shadow spoke again in a lighter jovial tone.

“Accidents happen but the Alien Abduction Alliance always makes things right.” Opening a control panel from the wall the alien began fiddling with some buttons while mumbling something John could barely hear.

“Damn Xenor. That’s the last time we get so drunk off of Trisellian ale that I mistake a human for a…” The shadow clears its throat and looks up.

At that moment a bright light engulfed John as his body and consciousness began to fade away toward the ceiling.

“Farewell human!” were the last things he heard before finally blacking out.

This is my first story ever so chalk up any issues to inexperience. I left the first chapter intentionally vague so if someone wants to take the story in their own direction they can. Next chapter I go into more detail.