About me
Get to know me better
- When I'm not writing erotica I like to
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be an upstanding citizen, an advocate of decency.
- When I'm not reading erotica I like to read
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sacred scripture and restaurant menus.
- My favorite word for "penis" is
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Vladimir Putin
- My favorite word for "vagina" is
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Actually, you’re probably referring to the “vulva
- I write erotica because
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it’s cheaper than commissioning something.
- In conclusion, I am
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happy to be here.
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Pansy’s Problems
by UglyMedia
Chapter 12 in Truth of the Matter
That night went poorly for Pansy. She was woken by Slytherin girls as numerous as they were angry. A fellow pure-blooded senior, Daphne Greengrass, with sleep in her eyes, led the congregation “Pansy, ENOUGH IS ENOUGH. We’d have a better night’s sleep with an Erumpent in the dor...
1 year ago 382 Words 15 Likes 6,215 Views -
Not yet
by UglyMedia
Chapter 13 in Truth of the Matter
Pansy was miserable, wandering the corridors of Hogwarts having been shunned from her bedroom by her peers due to her seemingly intolerable flatulence. The last 24 hours had felt like a vivid nightmare, the absurdity of her circumstance seemed to sneak up on her as if conspiring...
1 year ago 1,438 Words 17 Likes 4,320 Views -
Something pragmatic, something playful.
by UglyMedia
Chapter 14 in Magic Marker
Stacey needed insurance. She couldn’t have Megan endanger her newfound power by blabbing about her or the marker. As unbelievable as the truth seemed, her chest defied logical explanation and Stacey couldn’t take the risk. Initially, she considered the prospect of muting the gir...
2 years ago 366 Words 29 Likes 3,957 Views -
Gotcha Journalism
by UglyMedia
Chapter 4 in The Device
Honestly, I had no idea why he was so goddamn smug as I marched to the small office space reserved for the high-school paper. I was 30 minutes, at most, away from publishing an article guaranteeing his long-overdue expulsion. I walked in front of him, down the empty hall, as if...
2 years ago 1,114 Words 31 Likes 3,992 Views -
“Run fat ass, run”
by UglyMedia
Chapter 22 in LAUREN'S LITTLE SECRET
Confronted by Lauren’s inarguably and incongruously fat ass, Dennis couldn’t help but think back to the words Lauren spat at him on that fateful day. Words that stung even worse than the towel she whipped him with not moments before. “Run fat ass, run!” she had gleefully chided a...
3 years ago 609 Words 7 Likes 765 Views -
Sophie’s Choice
by UglyMedia
Chapter 4 in Unlimited wishes
Sophie felt like she was totally dissociating. In a few short minutes, her pleasant date had descended into depravity. One moment she was enjoying her latte and making small talk with her handsome date, Chris, but the milk must’ve been some weird new alternative because she got t...
3 years ago 807 Words 7 Likes 2,170 Views -
Moths to a Flame
by UglyMedia
Chapter 7 in Snowball story writing
Despite the notable adipose that Jackie had magically added to her hindquarters, Felicia was none the wiser. Due to the spell, she was oblivious to her new pear shape: the fact she could be objectively called “fat ass”, especially in the workout pants she was currently to...
3 years ago 329 Words 5 Likes 651 Views -
The New Houses
by UglyMedia
Chapter 5 in Hogwarts Whorehouse
Mafalda decided that, as fun as this new reality was, it didn’t make a whole lot of sense. She decided to flex her imagination and build out this depraved little world of her’s. First, some mythos for the new housing system: > After the age of 18, the women of Hogwarts will tran...
3 years ago 551 Words 7 Likes 3,179 Views -
Feet!?
by UglyMedia
Chapter 4 in Hogwarts Whorehouse
Hermione shuddered as the official proclamation echoed through the Great Hall. All before her were confused faces murmuring, reverberating Hermione’s own seemingly mistaken assumption that the hat was limited to four female houses. Maybe it was simply the hat misspeaking or havin...
3 years ago 453 Words 4 Likes 4,574 Views -
Stay with Megan
by UglyMedia
Chapter 15 in Magic Marker
Megan lay there in the dark, empty classroom for what felt like hours. She was terrified. Left in paralysis, clueless as to what had been written on her, wondering if she’d ever be able to move again, endlessly frustrated that she let such a powerful tool slip through her fingers...
4 years ago 586 Words 33 Likes 3,478 Views
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