About me
Get to know me better
- When I'm not writing erotica I like to
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Play Videogames, Watch Anime, Drown my sorrows in Porter. Although i have no sorrows. i still drown them though.
- When I'm not reading erotica I like to read
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Everything. Except Sci-Fi. Fuck that shit, i want dragons, demons, damsels in distress, dudes in discord, drowning debaters and daring dealers. Alliterations are the greatest thing known to humans, closely followed by great arses.
- My favorite word for "penis" is
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- My favorite word for "vagina" is
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- I write erotica because
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I am fucking bored. Do you see this extensive profile description? I have literally nothing better to do in my free time. Now go read my stories, they are mediocre!
- In conclusion, I am
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MEDIOCRE I TELL YOU! The english language is a bit stiff to me. Als Deutscher kann ich die Satzstrukturen dieser Sprache nicht völlig absorbieren. That's partly why i do this shit, to comprehend the english language. Mostly i do it to make attractive characters bang though.
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Up and Coming 13 – Fighting within the Boundaries
by Funatic
Chapter 46 in Corporate Dominion
Eldred made his way back to the base floor of the mansion and began walking around. ‘I really haven’t done a lot of it in my life,’ he thought as he ran his hand over the bricks of a garden wall. Childhood memories were all he could summon for a comparison, recollections of a ti...
1 day ago 3,064 Words 9 Likes 75 Views -
The First Harem Tournament 29 – The Formation of Imperial Houses Part 3
by Funatic
Chapter 2191 in The Gamer, Chyoa edition.
“I hate the fucking… fudging name I came up with,” Eliana grumbled. “Still… urgh… my house will be called ‘Rebirth’. Motto: ‘Failure is not the end’.” She pressed the button to reveal a gold-blue variation of the Fusion logo on a shield surrounded by blue and blood-red flames. “I...
2 days ago 2,746 Words 38 Likes 526 Views -
The First Harem Tournament 28 – The Formation of Imperial Houses Part 2
by Funatic
Chapter 2190 in The Gamer, Chyoa edition.
After some delay, Aclysia and Beatrice rose as one. “”We have decided to form one house,”” they spoke simultaneously and moved with flawless synchronicity. Buttons pressed, they displayed a black-white crest of green-eyed dragons facing one another. Colours were inverted down a v...
3 days ago 2,093 Words 40 Likes 542 Views -
The First Harem Tournament 27 – The Formation of Imperial Houses Part 1
by Funatic
Chapter 2189 in The Gamer, Chyoa edition.
Multitudes of steps echoed on the marble floor. Roman-style pillars sat equally spaced out within the walls, segmenting the perimeter of the long chamber. The inspiration from ancient architecture continued beneath the gently curved ceiling, forming the bones of a room that was o...
5 days ago 2,655 Words 41 Likes 654 Views -
The First Harem Tournament 26 – Ragebaiting and Iterating [Beatrice POV]
by Funatic
Chapter 2188 in The Gamer, Chyoa edition.
Enemy: Metra. Environment: Temperate Forest. Engagement Style: Tournament. Victory Condition: Surrender or Fateweaving Trigger. Chance of Success: 5% Estimated. Time Preference Analysis: Is this fight preferable to spending 5 more minutes in the office? Emotional answer: yes...
6 days ago 2,217 Words 45 Likes 498 Views -
Up and Coming 12 – Quarters and Plans
by Funatic
Chapter 45 in Corporate Dominion
They did eventually fill up on enough snacks to make them crave the provided beds. By then, the line was short and diminished quickly. Being amongst the last ones to receive their keys also made the process to find theirs rather simple. Finding the room was a little more complic...
1 week ago 2,408 Words 15 Likes 124 Views -
The First Harem Tournament 25 – False Shame and Spears
by Funatic
Chapter 2187 in The Gamer, Chyoa edition.
“Hihihihi, you look gorgeous.” Latex clung tightly to Sylph’s legs, stretching and squeaking with every long stride. Matching gloves covered her arms in shiny black. A short whip tapped on the inside of her palm, matching the rhythm of her steps as she circled around Momo. The...
1 week ago 2,255 Words 42 Likes 803 Views -
The First Harem Tournament 24 – Sitting Back
by Funatic
Chapter 2186 in The Gamer, Chyoa edition.
“Ah… HARDER!” Red hair pulled taut, the hand gripping Moira’s ponytail drew back until her glazed, green eyes came into view. Lids fluttered each time her body shook. Fingers pressed into the little cushion at the flare of her hips, a soft spot among the hardened peaks and valle...
1 week ago 2,425 Words 42 Likes 520 Views -
The First Harem Tournament 23 – Halftime Event
by Funatic
Chapter 2185 in The Gamer, Chyoa edition.
For every person in the world, there was at least one thing that did not fit the mould. The healthy athlete who chain smoked at any party they were at. The chef who delighted in stuffing himself with the cheapest, greasiest food available. The gentle friend who couldn’t hurt a f...
1 week ago 2,236 Words 42 Likes 639 Views -
The First Harem Tournament 22 – Headache
by Funatic
Chapter 2184 in The Gamer, Chyoa edition.
John came back to with his head in Nia’s lap. He tried to say something to the effect of ‘hey, gorgeous’. All that left his mouth was the undignified gargle of a throat filled with spittle. With the confusion came the pain. A thrumming, terrifying torment that split his head dow...
1 week ago 2,522 Words 47 Likes 683 Views -
Up and Coming 11 – The Maid and the Opportunities
by Funatic
Chapter 44 in Corporate Dominion
Eldred walked with the crowd. Without Otto’s vile presence distracting him, the CEO of Neverrain actually had a moment to once again appreciate how surreal this was. He, a no-name just three months ago, was walking along a crowd of well-dressed Cultivators. Every last person aro...
2 weeks ago 2,362 Words 15 Likes 153 Views -
The First Harem Tournament 21 – Striking Cat vs Hidden Dragon [Lu Zhi POV]
by Funatic
Chapter 2183 in The Gamer, Chyoa edition.
Lu Zhi hid her mischievous smirk behind her fan. Where or when she had picked up the gesture, she couldn’t remember. She had a vague recollection of a teacher telling the potential heirs about the value of half-hidden emotions. Showing enemies enough to get an idea of one’s next...
2 weeks ago 2,486 Words 45 Likes 792 Views -
The First Harem Tournament 20 – Family and Stuff
by Funatic
Chapter 2182 in The Gamer, Chyoa edition.
Elek understood that he had to be moved to his own VIP section. ‘National security reasons’ was a good enough explanation for him. His women were a bit grumbly about it, insisting that family could be trusted, but relented when the men insisted it had to be this way. Nightingale...
2 weeks ago 2,408 Words 47 Likes 796 Views -
The First Harem Tournament 19 – Start of Day 2
by Funatic
Chapter 2181 in The Gamer, Chyoa edition.
John woke up to the usual game of ‘who is sucking him off?’ The first clue he got was that the mouth enveloping him was certainly human. Soft lips glided over his shaft, a tongue lavished his length, the wet, sticky walls of the Harmonia’s throat received him with the mildest fl...
2 weeks ago 2,515 Words 44 Likes 556 Views -
The First Harem Tournament 18 – End of Day 1
by Funatic
Chapter 2180 in The Gamer, Chyoa edition.
“Perverted… creature…!” Ehtra complained. Metra had her mouth too full to respond to the grey angel. Sucking on the dark crown of the richly brown breast, the First of Wrath fully indulged in what everyone always wanted to do when around the scowling secretary. Those tits simply...
2 weeks ago 2,586 Words 46 Likes 581 Views -
Up and Coming 10 – Upstarts Gathering
by Funatic
Chapter 43 in Corporate Dominion
Eldred looked up at the shuttle. It was a hovering aircraft, propelled by a number of runes on the four wings of the bus-sized vehicle. It was painted white and trimmed gold, bright colours that made it stand out clearly at every angle. He had seen the hover shuttles in the sky...
3 weeks ago 2,405 Words 13 Likes 165 Views -
Up and Coming 9 – A Week Ticking By
by Funatic
Chapter 42 in Corporate Dominion
Eldred spent the remaining five days in a cycle of waking up, considering what to do, and then taking one or several of his women out on a date. With Nyx, he went to see a play. The ghost lady struck him as the sort of woman to enjoy the opera. His intuition served him well ther...
3 weeks ago 2,244 Words 17 Likes 168 Views -
The First Harem Tournament 17 – A friendly Spar between Sisters [Metra POV]
by Funatic
Chapter 2179 in The Gamer, Chyoa edition.
Sand crunched beneath Metra’s armoured feet. The tiny island was one of a couple that dotted the oceanic environment now around her. Wolf ears twitched as an artificial breeze tickled the fur along their edges. In a series of clicks, the segments of her armour enclosed her head f...
3 weeks ago 2,560 Words 32 Likes 842 Views -
The First Harem Tournament 16 – An Outside View [Citizen POV]
by Funatic
Chapter 2178 in The Gamer, Chyoa edition.
Elijah was just a guy. The only way he was outstanding was the fact that the Lorylim War had barely influenced his life. By happenstance of fate or due to effective countermeasures that he was unaware of, his town had evaded infiltration. All of his family, a fairly small one, h...
3 weeks ago 2,244 Words 30 Likes 615 Views -
The First Harem Tournament 15 – Brackets and Banter
by Funatic
Chapter 2177 in The Gamer, Chyoa edition.
Momo versus Delicia. Delicia’s chances were better here than they would have been against most haremettes, especially those that saw combat regularly. As a supporter, Momo was relatively low on offensive power. Delicia, meanwhile, had access to her Chimera Blob. In its base for...
3 weeks ago 2,396 Words 47 Likes 1,044 Views
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