The second trial of Satou Kazuma

"Stand aside! I have brought Axel's most wanted criminal: Satou Kazuma!"

Darkness walked through the streets of Axel, practically dragging Kazuma along with her, as they played the role of captor and captive. The royal knights who saw this cursed their luck, knowing that they weren't going to be reaping the reward Sena had promised them. Maybe that was the plan all along, they thought: motivate them to make a blanket over the town that would restrict Kazuma's movements while waiting for one of his party to betray him and pull him out of his hiding place. It only made sense. That hardass, Sena, would never really give them a juicy reward like that.

"Kazuma..."

"Yeah, I know. You'd rather be playing the part of the captive. It's actually kind of perfect-- with your absurd physical strength, nobody'll be surprised you managed to take me in! Plus, somehow, rumors about you being a freak don't seem to get around like rumors of me being a pervert," Kazuma mused, trying as hard as he could to keep pace with the higher-stamina crusader so that he didn't literally end up getting dragged through the dirt.

"No... I am not displeased. Actually... the glares of all of the knights, who are blaming me for taking away their lap dance rewards... it's kind of exhilarating!" A strange smile rested on the face of the blue-eyed girl; she was sometimes a little more difficult to predict than Kazuma gave her credit for.

"I should have figured it would be something like that," Kazuma sighed, then gave a weary smile. "Thanks for bailing me out on this one, though."

"I'm hardly bailing you out," Darkness added, wearing a sympathetic frown. "I'm turning you in."

"It's all part of the plan. If I let one of those royal knights take me, I'm likely to be executed before trial, or at the very least, they'd probably confiscate any weapons on me-- that might include the script! If you're with me, you can protect me, at least until I figure out my next move," he reasoned.

"Indeed. And if they should decide on a public stoning as your punishment, I will be there to shield you with my body-"

"Let's not let it come to that!" he retorted, suddenly shuddering at the mental image of the townspeople pelting him to **** with baseball-sized rocks. Furthermore, he knew who'd be at the front of the crowd... the woman with the biggest grudge against him at the moment. He imagined she'd aim right for the teeth... "As a sweet bonus, you get 1 million Eris for bringing me in, heh heh... Drinks are on me tonight!"

"That is what I like about you, Kazuma. Ever the optimist," Darkness laughed awkwardly, failing to hide her doubt that they'd really be in and out of this trial so easily.

--------- "Ko no su ba...." ----------

"Oh right... The reward wasn't 1 million Eris any more. I forgot I did that."

"Kazumaaaaa! Stop watching and help me! Th-This is not the kind of humiliation I desire! Use the script!"

The two had ended up together in a familiar interrogation room before the trial, where Sena and a royal scribe were waiting. As usual, the scribe's job was just to transcribe the whole proceeding for the court; ironically, that meant that, much like Kazuma, he had his face buried in a big peace of parchment, furiously moving his quill.

Kazuma watched with a dubious smile spread across his face as the scene played out. The royal prosecutor had offered 1 million Eris worth of lap-dances to whoever brought him in, and it turned out that went into effect immediately. As soon as Darkness had announced her intention, Sena had pushed her back into one of the wooden seats intended for the prosecuted, then immediately spread her legs and started riding Darkness's lap cowgirl style. This was... probably wasted on Darkness. He felt a pang of regret that he hadn't figured out how to turn himself in without dying. If he had, he'd be the one enjoying a lap-dance right now...

But it was still pretty funny to watch this.

"Sit still and allow me to reward you! That's an order from the royal prosecutor!" Sena insisted, clutching tightly onto the table with her hands while rubbing her bottom from Darkness's lap up her abdomen, occasionally twerking all the way up to her chest-plate.

Kazuma wondered if it was just his imagination, but it seemed like her technique was getting better the more he wrote her doing this. He watched with a stupid smile while writing in more lines.

"K-Kazuma?! Are you writing lines to-"

"Aaaaaah! Don't say that!" he insisted, clapping both hands over the crusader's mouth and forcing her to go momentarily cross-eyed with indignation. Darkness knew the truth about the script, but he needed to avoid letting Sena know all the details.

Unfortunately, the prosecutor had already grown curious. She'd suspected from the beginning that Kazuma was using some sort of magic artifact and what could be more suspicious than seeing him pull out a piece of paper and quill here in the interrogation room? While continuing to bounce her bottom up and down on the unappreciative noble-woman, Sena narrowed her eyes and glared in the captive's direction. "Could that be...?"

"I-It's just a notepad! I know I'm in for a tough trial, so I brought a notepad to help me organize my thoughts!" Kazuma insisted, wearing a very suspicious expression like he was about to let out a huge, held breath and sweating bullets at the same time. A ding went off from the lie-counter bell attached to the interrogation room table.

"I don't believe that for a second!"

Oh, right. He should probably use the script to convince her, not his words. Those didn't have a lot of value at the best of times. Furiously, he began scrawling countermeasures.

"Oh, yes. I suppose you are fearing for your life in this situation. It's only sensible that you would bring paper and a quill into a situation like this. Any criminal fearing for his own life would," she agreed. The bell dinged again. Sena's brow furrowed. "Is this thing broken? I told no lie just now." She searched her words for any sign of falsehood, but nothing came up. "Hm... Let's test it further. Kazuma Satou, please state, for the record, how you've used magic to control my actions."

"I-I didn't! I think you're just a freak like Darkness here *ding* and you want to blame me, dragging me through the mud while you do whatever you want with your knights *ding*! It's not so hard to believe, is it? Everyone knows that you're **** to hook up with somebody *no ding* so it wouldn't be surprising at all if you wanted to use that big butt of yours to seduce them *ding*!"

"D-Don't drag me into this! I am not a freak! *ding*"

Sena looked between Kazuma, then behind herself at Darkness, with growing consternation, but no doubt. From the many dings that had just gone off, it was quite clear that the bell was completely broken. She shook her head and placed two fingers to the spot between her eyebrows, feeling a headache coming on. Something didn't make sense. She revisited her thoughts. The bell, which was a 100% reliable tool used by royal prosecutors for years, was now on the fritz. It was definitely not working correctly. As she looked at it, picking it up and inspecting it from all sides, she saw nothing that looked off to her, and yet she knew that it was hopelessly unreliable in this particular scenario. Everything in this room, where she was bopping her butt up and down against the lap of another woman while her scribe watched her in utter confusion, was completely normal to her.

... No. Something was off. She needed to get out of this room. She needed to get in front of the court, where there would be more witnesses! More people meant more ways to close the net on Kazuma! Here, she was practically alone. She got the sense that, although she couldn't tell how, she was being turned into a plaything for him again. "Apologies, Miss Lalatina Ford Dustiness-"

"Please, call me Darkness..."

"Ahem. My further apologies. Miss Darkness, I apologize that I am not able to deliver your reward in full at this moment. I promised that I would dress as an adult entertainer with a short dress, feathered boa, and pasties for underwear, and yet I not yet delivered. However, this will be paid in full after the trial."

"P-P-Please don't!"

"For now, I feel I must immediately exit the interrogation. With me!" she commanded her scribe, now jumping off of Darkness's lap and heading towards the door but not before giving Lalatina another gander at what she had in store, dropping her bottom to the floor and placing her hands upon her knees, giving her round backside a captivating up-and-down wiggle. "E-"

"Stop that!" Darkness hissed, knocking Kazuma in the arm. As he cried out in pain, a big line appeared on the paper, trailing off from the word he'd been writing.

"Eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!" Sena cried in a shrill shriek, then covered her mouth with both hands. She gave Kazuma one last accusing glare, determined the script he was holding was entirely harmless, then finally left the room.

"Kazuma... You have to be a little less obvious during the trial. If it is that obvious you are manipulating Sena's behavior..." Darkness trailed off, rising to her feet as though to deny anyone else the chance to jump on and start twerking on her. "And if you keep having fun at my expense-"

"I know. Sorry. I've been taking advantage of you when you're trying to help me. It's a sickness. I'm sorry."

"... I was going to say, if you keep having fun at my expense, please do it in a way that takes my own preferences into account!"

----------- "Ko no su ba!"-----------

Kazuma had hoped to never find himself back in the odd trial arena where Sena had once attempted to take him down for the destruction of a nobleman's mansion. Like the courts from his world, it had a witness stand, judge's table, and benches for prosecution and defense, but unlike what one might be used to, it was an entirely public forum, with townspeople all around and the sun shining down above. There was even a very aesthetic waterfall just outside the arena. It would be soothing, were the situation not so dire.

He'd learned last time not to take for granted the support of any of his so-called friends during a trial like this, since Sena's policy was "anyone aiding a criminal will be deemed complicit in his crimes." Everyone tended to get real distant from him in times like this, turning their eyes away and pretending they didn't know him. "Hey, Darkness... where are Aqua and Megumin? They really couldn't be bothered to show up!?"

"Oh, yes. I believe Megumin was finding a storage spot for all of her things. When Aqua heard that, she started relocating hers too."

"Those traitors! They're more concerned about seizure of their assets than they are me! But... what about you?"

"Oh, well... I would not mind if my assets were seized. Being **** to sleep on the hard floor without a scrap of clothing would be-"

"Okay. Got it," Kazuma finished with a salute and an unamused expression.

"Do not think too badly of them. I believe they simply had confidence in your ability to escape this trial. Your LUCK and INT stats are both quite high-- with that and the script, you should have everything you need. As long as you do not play around too much..." Darkness explained, seeming to become less confident in the outcome the more she spoke. "I am sure that... somewhere, deep down... you have the moderation that you need to get through this without another incident. Yes. It is... certainly possible... for you to not get carried away-"

"Great. Really glad you believe in me," Kazuma sighed, then stopped, wearing a vacant expression. He needed to abandon his usual smirks, his scowls, and all forms of his expressiveness. He would clear his mind. None of his usual worldliness. No sin. No lust. Pure survival instinct. Well, all of those things would still be there, but he couldn't show any of them on his face, at risk of execution.

The court wasn't exactly wrapped around Sena's finger the same way it was last time, since there wasn't a noble with a blown-up mansion hovering over them, but Sena was still the best prosecutor in the kingdom with a near 100% conviction rate. In order to win here, he had to make her look like a fool, to the point that even the members of the court would be brainwashed into finding her dubious... but he had to do it in a convincing way that didn't make people think she was some kind of imposter. In short, he had to be subtle, but also bold. Thoughtful, yet unpredictable. No pressure...

At any rate, this meant that he couldn't sit on his hands and be passive. He needed to start his scheme before Sena even reached the bench. He scribbled down everything that he could summon from his mind, wanting to start out the trial with a significant advantage, all while wearing the inexpressive face of Buddha.

He was so in the zone that he barely heard the judge snapping for his attention. Like in his homeworld, judges here wore curly wigs... actually, did they do that in Japan? Wasn't that a western thing? Whatever the case, this one was an old man in a curly wig, and he had to assume that was a custom, not just a fashion statement. "Mr. Satou! Mr. Satou! Mr. Satou!"

Finally, he shook his head, snapping to attention. "I'm Mr. Satou."

"No outside materials are allowed in court. Please, surrender your quill and paper."

Another quick, jotted note.

"Excuse me, your honor. I've given the defendant special permission to carry a notepad. I figured that the last thing he needs working against him is the lack of a scribe to assist him with his notes in court. We should at least allow him that much, seeing how one-sided this trial is likely to become," Sena suddenly interjected, walking out from the tent that served as her preparation area. She was dressed the same as always, a rare mercy from Kazuma... or so it seemed, anyway. "That notebook... he was using it in the interrogation room too, now that I think about it. And that's perfectly fine. It's not weird that he is using it."

"Hmph. I'll allow it. Mr. Satou, do you have any remorse for wasting the court's time yet again on this occassion?"

"Don't snap back. Don't snap back. Don't snap back," Kazuma reminded himself internally, wishing he had a script that could manipulate himself into keeping his temper in check at times like this. "Yes, your honor. I'm deeply remorseful. I'm just a plucky little underdog today. I hope that the court will find it in their hearts to give the little guy a win over Big Prosecution today."

"Big Prosecution...?" Sena questioned, looking as irritable as Kazuma was trying to keep himself from looking. "Little guy, is that it? Funny. If there's one thing that's well known about Kazuma Satou, it's his ego, and in recent days, it has run rampant. I will prove to the court today, beyond the shadow of a doubt, that Satou has been utilizing a magical artifact to manipulate the minds of women in town, starting with the arch mage, Yunyun, and concluding with myself. This scope is excluding any others that may have become his targets between Yunyun's corruption and my own."

"And the defense's case?"

"Your honor," Kazuma responded, rising to his feet and placing both hands on his podium. "I intend to show that Sena is not fit to stand as my prosecutor. She has fabricated rumors against me and her long-standing grudge has convinced her that I am to be blamed for events that lie entirely at the feet of the captive, Dust, who was arrested just yesterday!"

"And the defense is aware that Dust has already been found innocent of those charges?"

"I... huh? W-What about keeping him locked up for the maximum penalty that the law allows?"

"He's still locked up," Sena answered, pushing her glasses up with two fingers. "For the maximum penalty without trial of one week. However, I have concluded that it was not, in fact, Dust who was responsible for the events at the inn last night. It was you, Kazuma Satou! It should have been obvious to anyone, how Dust was arrested wearing a brown wig and green cape. Who could walk away from that crime scene without suspecting you of something?"

"... Crap! Your honor! I move to amend the defense's stance!" Kazuma babbled.

"Proceed..."

"I-It is the defense's charge... That the prosecutor, Sena, fabricated those events purely to seduce a young man between the age of 18-20, whether it was me or not! Dust is actually a victim in this too! Then, she invented a story about me having a magical artifact to confuse the issue! That's what really happened!"

Sena gasped, then furrowed her brow in indignation. "Me? Seduce you?!"

"Yeah huh! And after that, you'd have me all alone in a dank dungeon cell where you... you'd **** me to become your husband!"

The audience all began to gasp while Sena's mouth dropped open. "Th-That's nonsense!"

"Ms. Sena, this conflicts with your earlier statement that you intend to have Kazuma Satou prosecuted to the fullest extent of the law, which would include, potentially, execution. Now, according to Mr. Satou, you intend to hold him indefinitely in prison?"

"Yes, please amend the record. In actuality, my intention is to hold him indefinitely, to give him a chance to reform under my strict guidance. But not as my husband. Of course not," Sena finished, flashing Kazuma a slightly indiscreet, sultry smirk that the audience couldn't fail to miss... before returning to her usual frown. "Something feels off again," she thought to herself, noting that many among the crowd, especially lecherous men like Kazuma, seemed to be whispering to one another about how the punishment might not be that bad. "But the sentence does make sense. I don't actually want that lout dead. I just want him in an environment where he can atone for his many crimes and reform himself."

Kazuma had begun sweating for a moment, but the script had come through for him. Operation "act like a man with no worldly desires going up against a grudge-holding officer" was off the table. Now, he had to make her a different sort of corrupt. As discretely as he could manage, he started writing through his earlier notes and correcting details.

"Are you positive this is your case, Mr. Satou? As you are still a novice in the court of law, I feel I should warn you that your claim seems... somewhat difficult to prove your case." The judge lowered his spectacles down the bridge of his long nose and gave the defendant a meaningful look. "As it relies upon proving the dubious character of the victim, who also stands as prosecution."

"I'm pretty sure I'll manage to turn up the evidence for it," Kazuma responded with a lazy smile, crossing his arms over his script like he was hiding his homework from cheating eyes.

-------- "Ko. No. Su. Ba."-------

Sena stood at the other side of the court room, trying to analyze the scheme of Kazuma Satou and coming up short. What was he planning? So far, he hadn't made her give anybody a lapdance or changed her garments in any visible way. If those were the powers of his magical artifact, so far, he was choosing not to use them. Perhaps playing it straight was all he could do? Besides that very ordinary pad of paper he was writing on, there was nothing out of the ordinary in any of his actions. Was he resigned to his fate?

The witnesses Sena called-- Luna, the royal knights, and a few townspeople-- all gave testimony that worked in her favor. She hadn't exactly coached them to say what she wanted them to, but they knew better than to get on her bad side for no reason. Besides... she was right, wasn't she? This had to be Kazuma going to town on her with some magic artifact.

"Defense. Would you like to cross examine any of the witnesses?" the judge questioned, lowering his eyebrows critically, as though wondering if Kazuma even realized he was allowed to do that.

"Just one. I call Royal Knight B back to the stand."

"He has a name-"

"Well, it's easier for me if we just call him the second royal knight," Kazuma complained, rolling his hand in a 'get-on-with-it' gesture. "Royal Knight B. Good old trustworthy Royal Knight B. You say that you were dispatched to look for me as part of Sena's patrol, but you came up short after searching the mansion for me. Is that correct?"

The man nodded, then clicked his teeth irritably.

"A spot of irritability I notice! Is that because you came up short in your search."

"Yeah... If only I'd been dispatched to the right place, I would have gotten that reward."

"Oh ho! So there was a reward offered for bringing me in. And... What was that reward? I remind you, that little bell on the judge's desk will ring if it detects any falsehood in your testimony." Kazuma thanked his lucky star that the bell hadn't been there during their opening statements.

"Ah, well... A prize valued at one million Eris..."

Sena, who'd been leaning over the edge of her podium, suddenly relaxed. He hadn't spilled the beans.

"And... what manner of legal tender was that one million Eris to be presented in?" Kazuma questioned, keeping one arm crossed behind his back and examining his fingernails idly like a TV lawyer.

"Oh, uh... I... shouldn't say." The bell didn't ring. It was no lie: Royal Knight B really shouldn't say, for the sake of his own life and limb.

"Aaaah! You're hiding it! You know the answer and you're hiding it!" Kazuma shouted, suddenly pointing his finger out in an accusatory way. He started to reach for his script... then realized he didn't need it. "Hm hm hm. Let's try this another way. Ahem. If, in fact, it was some service that you were offered instead of legal tender, perhaps rendered by Sena herself, I would now call upon the prosecution to demonstrate that exact same service here for the court. The bell ought to ring if it isn't exactly what you promised the royal knights! Isn't that right?"

"I'm telling you, I can't say!"

"Not even if Sena, the royal prosecutor, demonstrates it exactly the same way she promised she was going to if you brought me in?"

The knight looked over to Sena for a moment thoughtfully, then suddenly adopted a monkey-like face of excitement. "Bwehehe... well... I guess if we roll out the evidence that way, there's really no fault of mine to be had! I have no reason to object. Bwehehehehe...."

Sena gripped her hands tightly to the podium, wearing a disbelieving expression with dilating pupils. "N-No... You can tell him. Just tell him what I promised you. It's okay."

"Mmmm... I dunno... Boy, it might have been something pretty illegal," the Royal Knight sighed, crossing his arms and watching her out of the corner of one eye. "It was quite a kickback I was being offered, that's for sure!"

"A lapdance. I promised him a lapdance!" Sena offered, holding out both of her hands pleadingly. "T-There's an explanation for it! The magic artifact! I-It-!"

The bell went off. The court went silent and all heads turned to face Sena.

Sweat rolled down her cheek.

"I... I offered the royal knights... One million Eris worth of lapdances... While dressed as a stripper... w-with a sparkling purple dress... and a big feather boa... a-and adhesive pasties in the shapes of hearts instead of underwear..."

No ding this time. The royal knight clicked his teeth, understanding now that he wasn't going to get a lapdance in court.

Instead of gasping, the audience seemed to break out largely in cheers, sounding as excited by that idea as the royal knights had been earlier. The judge began to bang his gavel. "Order! Ordeeeer! Ordeeeeeeeer! I will remind the courtroom that the offer has expired!" he shouted, hitting the hammer down harder and harder for their attention.

"Kazuma Satou... I will never forgive you for this..." Sena growled, gritting her teeth and simmering so hard that her glasses were starting to fog up.

Instead of responding directly to her, Kazuma put on a smug smile and flipped his bangs with two fingers, giving a stylish pose. "Well, now! The shoe is on the other foot. Seduction seems to be very in character for a woman who offers sexual favors to her soldiers, I must say. Tut, tut. Such a misuse of authority..."

"Objection! Leading!" Sena scowled, hammering her fist down upon her bench.

"Sustained," the judge sighed. "Mr. Satou, your cross examination was compelling, but it is not the defense's prerogative to speculate upon the prosecutor's character outside of stated facts and physical evidence."

"Crap. I don't actually really know that much about how court works," Kazuma suddenly remembered, stretching out the collar of his shirt as sweat began to bead around his neck. "Ahem. In the absence of further testimony, I would like to present physical evidence of Sena's salacious behavior, that will prove beyond a shadow of a doubt she was the seductress behind the Mile High Club and my framing!"

"'Mile High Club?'"

"You know, mile high like the man's.... nevermind. The incident at the inn. That's what I'm talking about. I'm going to prove she was trying to seduce me."

"And what physical evidence could you possibly have that would prove that?"

"I'm glad you asked! You see, during that particular event, which Dust and I both witnessed, she was very keen to show us something she keeps on her at all times. However, in order to demonstrate... I am going to need the court's permission to use Steal upon the prosecutor."

Sena opened her mouth in shock, then leaned once again across the podium. "Of course not! If there was anything like that, I'd surrender it to the court this very moment!" She shot both hands over her mouth as the bell sitting in front of the judge rang and he raised an eyebrow. "I-I would. Of course I would! *ding* I'm the royal prosecutor! I-I would not hide evidence! *ding* There is no need for Steal! I'll surrender whatever evidence you ask for! *ding* What is it?!"

"Okay, then," Kazuma laughed, putting on a cheery smile. "Then the defense asks the prosecution to please hand over her panties and present them to the court."

"Absolutely not. That's sexual harassment."

"Mr. Satou, in a case like this I fail to see how Ms. Sena's undergarments can constitute a legal argument," the judge agreed, slouching on one arm with an unamused expression, knowing Sena would never give them up. He clenched his teeth as the bell rang once again. "Ahem. While these may constitute evidence, I will advise the defense that such inquiries are in poor taste."

"Noted. Now show me the panties!"

"Never."

Satou bowed to the judge, holding one arm beneath his chest an the other outward. "Your honor, may I please have permission to use Steal upon the prosecutor? I will remind all attending that the prosecution shall remain fully outwardly clothed for modesty's sake, despite the loss of her undergarments. We won't even have to take her pantyhose off."

"I'll allow it."

"Your honor!" Sena begged, approaching the bench and clasping her hands pleadingly together upon its surface. "He's making a mockery of the courtroom!"

Kazuma kept quiet, smiling to himself as she stuck out her rear end and presented him the perfect target. He'd never imagined the day would come where an official court of law would tell him it was okay to steal a sexy girl's panties, but there was a first time for anything. With a dramatic burst of wind, he stuck out one hand towards Sena's rear end with the fingers extended, then curled them upward in a clutching motion. "Steeeeeal!" his voice echoed through the arena.

Sena covered her bottom with both hands as she felt the fabric beneath her hose vanish; she bit her lip in anger and hid her red face against the podium as strands of black hair fell out of place. "I-I'll never forgive him for this... Never... Never ever ever ever...." she swore to herself wrathfully, then slowly peeked over her shoulder at her bitter enemy. At least they'd soon see what a farce this was. So what? She wore black panties. Lots of people did! Just wearing black panties wasn't a sign of sexual promiscuity, as much as that young man might like to sound like an authority on the subject. If he honestly thought an honorable judge and an assembly of law-abiding citizens were going to be swayed by something so asinine, he'd soon realize that not everyone was such a neanderthal as he was!

With a cocky grin, Kazuma opened up his hands. The panties had been hidden because they were barely there at all. Instead of her usual black, lace panties, relatively modest in coverage, he revealed a red, v-style pair with barely any back to them, stringy side-straps, and a rose pattern embroidered in-- panties clearly built for passion and easy removal. She herself had put them on that morning.

Sena stared for a moment, then thrust out one finger with a victorious expression, matching Kazuma's own. "Those aren't mine!"

*ding*

The corner of her smile twitched and tears began to well in her eyes. "W-Well... E-Even if they were mine... They aren't sufficient proof of any intention to seduce you..."

"Ahem! I will point to a few articles that were tucked inside the panties, extracted at the same time. First, we have this string of condoms, which was tucked inside Sena's panties the entire time. They sell these at Wiz and Vanir's store, though they're normally hidden behind the counter. I don't have to tell you people what they're used for..." The bell didn't go off.

"C-Condoms...!"

"Next, we have this, a harmless enough scroll of tape, tucked in next to the condoms. However, if I may unwind it for the court... What do we have here? Names, clearly indicating the men that Sena planned to seduce! You'll see my name here, next to Dust's. His is crossed off, since she more or less scored with Dust. They did the tongue tango!"

"I-I object! He can't prove any of that!"

"I don't hear any bell," the judge grumbled, turning his eyes towards Sena with a critical frown. "Overruled. So, defense, if I understand you correctly: these are Sena's man-hunting panties, which have a flashy design, carry a string of condoms, and also contain a list of targets for her seduction. Is that everything?"

"I rest my case, your honor." Kazuma bowed, then raised his head, giving Sena his most shit-eating grin.

"Then I will return the floor to you, Ms. Sena. We've seen Mr. Satou's evidence. Do you have anything like physical evidence that can prove your case? Where is this 'magic artifact' you've been speaking of?"

Sena rose to her feet with her fists balled at her sides, looking as fearsome as any demon general that Kazuma had yet encountered. She slowly approached him with her hands trembling. "Kazuma Satou... If you would dare to take my underwear and show it off in front of the whole courtroom... Then you won't mind showing the courtroom yours, will you?!" With fire in her eyes, she jumped at Kazuma and began ripping free his clothing, beginning with his shirt. "Show it! Show it to me! Show me that magical artifaaaaaact!"

"Order! Ordeeer! Bailiff, restrain the prosecution!"

Starting to feel as though he really was being preyed upon by an older woman, Kazuma clung tightly to the defense's bench as his pants were pulled down around his angles, revealing striped boxers. "W-Waaaait! That's not a piece of evidence I'm ready to present to the whole court right now!" he cried in terror, falling onto his back and shifting his hands to the hem of his underpants to keep Sena from ripping them off of him.

-------- "Ko no su baaaaaaaa!!"---------

"This court finds the royal prosecutor, Sena guilty of the following: entrapment, **** of authority, and conspiracy to frame an innocent civilian. However, this is not a case to determine Sena's guilt-- the accused was Kazuma Satou, as such, I have **** but to dismiss our concerns with the prosecution and instead render a verdict pertaining only to the defense: Not Guilty. This case is dismissed. If there is any further case to be brought against the royal prosecutor, I will hear it in the days to come. In the mean time, under my own authority, I hereby strip Sena of her position as royal prosecutor, to be re-evaluated at a later date. Court is dismissed!"

The crowd surrounding the arena cleared out like they were embarrassed to have seen what they just saw. At the end, only Darkness and Kazuma remained, watching Sena as she knelt in the center of the courtroom, defeated and pantyless.

"Ha ha ha ha... You knew this was war, Sena! I'll be keeping these as the spoils of war, of course," Kazuma taunted her, raising the red rose panties in his hands as a trophy of victory. "It feels so good to be a free man again... Aaaaah... It feels great..."

Sena didn't answer, instead just staring at the center of the courtroom with a vacant expression. Her glasses had slid half down her nose and looked to be in danger of falling onto the stones.

"S-So you know... I don't feel bad about what happened at all! Because we both agreed it was war! Right?!"

Darkness crossed her arms beneath the shelf of her breastplate and closed her eyes, shaking her head in pity.

"Hey... Hey! Why am I the bad guy? I was going to be imprisoned or executed! That's way worse than anything I actually did or have ever done! So why is everyone treating me like I'm the bad guy?!" Kazuma questioned, turning pleadingly to Darkness.

"Kazuma... You know better than anyone that to a woman like Sena, her job is everything. Today, you have taken that from her, along with much else: her credibility, her dignity, her public face. Despite how you routinely tease me, the average person does not enjoy such humiliation and public degradation."

Kazuma felt his own fists trembling and tears welling in his eyes. Snot began to drip from his nose. "B-But Darkneeeess!" he cried, burying his head in her chest and digging his fingers into her shoulders.

Darkness recoiled, wearing an expression of disgust as she pushed him about a foot back. "If you really feel bad about it, you need to help Sena. Apologize to her, not me.."

"... I'm sorry, Sena."

She didn't react.

Kazuma scratched the back of his head and pouted. "You're... not really a seductress. You're actually the opposite of that. I can't believe you've never had a boyfriend with a body like yours."

"Not helping," Darkness whispered in his ear.

The way Sena was still slumped onto the floor with shadows cast over her eyes seemed to indicate that was accurate.

"Aaaaw, come on! What else am I supposed to do to apologize!? I only went after you because you and Luna were being mean to me in the tavern!"

"... Went after me?"

"Yes! Okay? Yes! I used a magic script to make you do all kinds of things against your will! I made you do the Mile High Club with Luna! I made you give that knight a lap job! I made you switch your panties and plant the evidence in there before the trial! I did all of that with a magic item! And I'm really, really sorry!"

"... I'll never forgive you. If I was still royal prosecutor, I'd prosecute you right now."

"I said I'm sorry!" Kazuma cried out, hiding behind Darkness and pushing her between the two of them as Sena rose back to her feet. "I-I'll make it up to you!"

"How could you possibly make up for this disgrace?"

"I can help you! I can give you the one thing you've always wanted! I can give you a boyfriend!"

Sena's eyes widened for a moment and wind swept her hair... before her eyes once again narrowed and her teeth clenched. "I would sooner strangle you to **** than accept you as my boyfriend."

"N-No, I mean, I can give you any boyfriend! I can use the script to make you a guy magnet who can hook anybody in town! You just name the person and I can make it happen!"

Sena's eyes widened again, and this time, they stayed open. She fixed her glasses upon her face and straightened her skirt, fidgeting a bit. "You... You mean it?"

"Really?" Darkness questioned, frowning. "I cannot imagine you as a matchmaker, setting Sena up with another man, Kazuma. In my experience, you have always treated all women as objects that belong to you exclusively. Excluding that one time you tried to get me married to another man against my will... Also, aren't you also a vir-"

"I do NOT treat women as objects! And I'm giving her a really nice offer here! I feel bad about all this and uh, I do want you to keep hush hush about the script now that you know about it... so how about it? While you're temporarily removed as royal prosecutor and you have free time anyway, let me turn you into a sex bomb that can have her way with any man in the city!"

Sena crossed her arms and nodded. "Hmph. I'll allow it. I suppose that could begin to make up for your misdeeds. Let's rendezvous again tomorrow morning and you can brief me on the mission details."

"Okay... Uh, first lesson. Let's not refer to me being your wingman as 'a rendezvous to brief you on the mission details.' Nah, nevermind. There'll be time for all of this tomorrow, I'm beat..."

---------- "Ko no su baaa-aaaaaaah..."----------