Operation "Sena Sex Bomb" begins!

The trial had exhausted Kazuma and he knew he'd need a lot of energy to solve Sena's life-long problem in the days to come-- that meant it was straight to bed shortly after the trial concluded. He had an easier time sleeping than the night before. Sure, he might have gone to war a little too hard and wrecked Sena's career, but that was all going to be a distant memory when he yanked her off of the hamster wheel that was her eternal bachelorette status and got her the guy of her dreams! He would like to personally be that guy, of course, but for now, he was on his good guy arc. That meant a peaceful, dreamy sleep, where he'd wake up and be the hero that this world deserved!

....

Kazuma woke up with a groggy frown and a string of drool running from his mouth onto his pillow-- instead of feeling like a hero, he rolled over to the not-spit-stained side and clutched that side of the pillow tighter, trying to get back to sleep. Something flimsy but annoying was hitting him over and over again across the cheeks and nose. With a long moan, he finally tried to open his eyes enough to see what it was.

It was his own face! On a wanted poster!

"You've got to be kidding me! No way! She did not put another bounty out on me! This is bullshit! Megumin, why-!?"

Kazuma slowed down and blinked, realizing it was the so-called goddess Aqua hitting him with the poster, not the party's arch mage this time. She was wearing a vacant smile and continuing to slap him with it, even once he was awake. "Will you knock that off?!"

"Shiii shi shi shi! I think it's really funny how you sleep with a poster of yourself on your bedside table, Kazuma! I just thought I'd give you a little kiss from the person you admire the most in the whole wide world! Chu, chu, chu~" she continued giggling, hitting him with the poster a few more times before he managed to grab it out of her hands and rip it to shreds. At this interruption of her fun, she switched from teasing mode to pouting mode. "Hmph! I guess I called it wrong! It only makes sense that a NEET like you harbors a certain amount of self-loathing, tearing up your own self-portrait! You should really see somebody about that! Or spend some time in prayer, of course. That's right! If you can no longer look to yourself for encouragement, you can always turn to-"

The young man tuned her out, grumbling to himself. "... Self-portrait? Uh... That was a bounty poster, right?"

"Was it? It was so crappy looking, I thought you drew it. I mean, it did have your spirit, though. Your scumbag spirit!"

"... So it's not even from today? It's the one Megumin brought in yesterday?"

"I guess so!"

Kazuma clobbered Aqua with a bop over the head from one fist, sending her out of the bedside chair and rolling across the ground. "You idiot! You almost gave me a heart attack!! I thought Sena was after me again and I was about to have to go in for another goddamned trial!"

"You jerk! Meanie! I was coming to wake you up and warn you that Sena's on her way here right now!!"

"Oh, yeah. Nobody's kept you in the loop on any of this, have they? I'm actually Sena's ally now. I'm going to help her find her prince charming." Kazuma gave closed his eyes and gave a cool-guy smile, while cupping one hand to his chin and facing towards the morning light through his window. "If I can't be Sena's one-and-only, I can pass that favor on to another guy. That's how the bro code works, not that you'd know anything about it."

"... Pu hu... Paaaah ha ha ha ha! You?! Kazuma the super virgin?! You're going to teach Sena how to get a lover? That's rich! Talk about the blind leading the blind!" Aqua cackled, rolling over onto her back and kicking her legs in a way that offered numerous glimpses up her extremely short skirt, none of which Kazuma wanted to take advantage of. "You'll probably land another lucky guy in jail, like you did Dust!"

"Hey, that guy's an ass! He got himself thrown in!" Kazuma defended, still a little sore about that bitter memory. "Now get outta here, I gotta get dressed before-"

"Lalatina Ford Dustineeeess!" a voice boomed from the entrance, just down the hallway from Kazuma's room.

To Kazuma, it sounded like he'd gone to another dimension. He'd never heard the door flung open like that without his own name being bellowed in an accusatory manner. "Huh? Why's she asking for Darkness? I mean... Darkness was there yesterday, but helping Sena's supposed to be all on me. Wait, did Darkness do something to get arrested?" he asked Aqua, tilting his head curiously. "I guess it was all a matter of time before that freak ended up in cuffs."

"True!" Aqua agreed, merrily springing back onto her feet. "Well, this seems like a huge pain in the butt and it's really not my business, so I'm going to head out to the tavern! Go check what Sena and Darkness are up to, before Sena kicks in all the doors looking for her!"

Tellingly, a door flung open in the distance, accompanied by a scream from Megumin. Kazuma gulped, then quickly threw on his clothes, knowing he'd somehow get blamed for sexual harassment again if Sena walked in on him in his t-shirt and boxers.

--------- "Ko no su baaaaaaa!"----------

Kazuma, now dressed, hurried in the direction he'd heard Megumin's voice screaming from. When he found her, she was curled up in her bed, still dressed in her pink pajamas, but with the covers pulled up to her chin, shivering and wearing a horrified expression.

"Kazuma... Kazuma...!"

"Have you seen Sena?"

"I... I saw something kind of like Sena..."

"What? Were you still dreaming? Crap, you didn't wet yourself again, did you?"

"W-What do you mean 'again?!' A Crimson Demon never wets anything, ever!" Megumin scolded, throwing a pillow that bounced off of Kazuma's head harmlessly. "She was trying to find Darkness. You've got to go help her!"

"And what about you?"

"Don't take this the wrong way, but from the way Sena looked, I think this is more of a job for you."

"How did she look? Angry?"

"She always looks that way," Megumin sighed, then shivered, clutching her knees tighter and rolling her body into a small ball, falling sideways onto the bed. "This was very different... Too different..."

Kazuma gulped. He was starting to get a hunch what was going on here. "Oh crap. I know what's happening now. I have to hurry or I'm going to miss it."

"'Miss it?'"

"No time to explain!" Kazuma shouted back, nearly tripping over himself as he ran towards Darkness's room further down the hall, leaving Megumin on her bed. He could already hear Darkness wailing. He had to hurry before he missed the spectacle of a life time! How did he feel about this? As was always the case in this house, it was a coin toss if he'd see something outrageously overstimulating when he threw open the door or if he'd see something so mind-numbingly stupid he'd close the door back and try to forget about it.

This time, it was a little of column A and B.

Sena had come back to fulfill her promise for yesterday, evidently still under the effects of pieces of the script that Kazuma had forgotten to write out the day before. Darkness had probably been asleep until Sena burst in the room, but before the crusader could get out of bed, the royal prosecutor had climbed back on top of her in a cowgirl position, facing her back towards the door. Her lengthy black hair billowed and the bed creaked with the motion of two adult women, as she slapped her hips up and down against Darkness's lap in a sex-like motion. This time, Darkness didn't have the benefit of armor, either-- she was wearing that needlessly erotic, semi-transparent white-pink nightie that Kazuma had seen her don on several occassions. Her legs were exposed from the thighs down as Sena hammered her down against the bed.

The nightie was downright modest next to what Sena had on, though. True to her word, the only familiar piece of clothing the prosecutor still had on was her glasses. The rest had been replaced as she promised, with a purple, sequined tube dress, its shoulders wrapped with a big, pink feather boa that was rapidly jumping up and down with the motion of her body. Her purple stiletto heels were left by the bedside-- it was funny to see that sense of decorum from someone otherwise behaving so wildly.

The part Kazuma's eyes focused on and stayed on, however, was the lower hem of the dress. The piece was so short that if she'd been standing up with her arms at her sides, it wouldn't come close to reaching her fingertips. With her current activity, riding on top of Darkness and snaking her body, it had ridden almost all the way up her ass. True to her word, she hadn't worn any panties, just those heart-shaped pasties in place of them... or at least, Kazuma assumed she had, because her bare butt was hanging out the bottom of the dress.

"A full moon!" he gasped, staggering backwards.

It was impossible not to grit his teeth over how this was being wasted on Darkness. If Sena was going to do it to somebody, it ought to be someone who'd appreciate it! What would he give to have woken up that way?!

Well... he had the power to make that happen, since he still had the script. He'd resisted its temptations since yesterday, but after watching this... he was wondering if chivalry ought to just go ahead and die.

"What are you talking about? It's far too late in the day for any kind of moon. Do you all truly sleep in this late every day?" Sena questioned, looking over her shoulder to watch Kazuma while continuing to bounce on Darkness's lap.

"K-K-Kazuma! Fix this! Why are you not fixing it?!" Darkness interjected, as the one of the two girls who realized this was a scenario that would never normally come to pass.

"That's the bounty you claimed on me, right? What kind of asshole would I be if I took that from you?" he sighed, shaking his head. "Anybody in this city would kill to be woken up like this. You should be thankful! But joking aside, it's really hard to get a bead on your personality sometimes. It really doesn't turn you on if I watch this happen to you?"

"It does not! It most certainly does not! This is not the kind of humiliation I desire!" Darkness cried, struggling to find some decent place to put her hands and attempt to manually drag Sena off. As she kicked her legs, her nightie rode further and further up on them, to the point that Kazuma nearly got two peepshows at the same time.

"... When I look at it from this angle... it kind of makes me want to... slip in there between you two. Like there's a perfect slot down there each time she bounces up..."

"Pleeeease! Kazumaaaa!!"

------------ "Konosubaaaaaaaa!!"--------------

In the end it had taken Darkness throwing Sena off after all. As a crusader with a high physical stat, it was easy enough once she stopped being noble about it. Being thrown off the bed on her back with her legs in the air seemed to give Sena a more clear sign to stop than being told verbally did; she finally let Darkness go and now sat alone at the breakfast table with Kazuma.

The young man had a hard time understanding the quest that now lay before them. To see Sena dressed this way, with her legs entirely on display and a good bit of cleavage from this frankly slutty dress, it was impossible for him to comprehend how it could be any kind of "mission" to hook her up with somebody. Everyone man in town-- and some of the women, if not Darkness-- ought to want a piece.

"Kazuma Satou. You remember your promise, correct? The operation?" the prostitute-looking prosecutor asked him, raising one eyebrow as his eye held too long at the cleft of her bosom.

"Operation Sena Sex Bomb!"

"I'm not agreeing to that name. If you say it again, I'll have you arrested for sexual harassment."

"Y-Yes! Right!" he murmured, taking a small bite of a breakfast pastry while Sena ignored hers along with the house's tea. It didn't seem the breakfast met her standards any better than the name of the operation did. Speaking of which... "What kind of guy are you looking for, anyway? What's your type?"

Sena crossed her arms with a troubled expression. "It feels like I'm being harassed again when you ask me that, but I know you're just trying to help. Fine. Allow me to list my criteria." She held up one finger to start, with a face as fierce as though she was presenting an argument in court. "First off! Financial stability. I am not in need of money, but I don't want anyone who will mooch off of me for my considerable salary. The town is largely comprised of adventurers, so this presents a problem: the men in that lifestyle tend to have highly unstable incomes. I would need someone from a notable party, one with many successful ventures, on a regular basis."

Kazuma felt an arrow figurative arrow fly out and embed itself in his chest. He was the furthest thing from financially stable there was. Sure, he was in money right now, but it was a roller coaster-- some days, he'd ended up sleeping in the stable. In fact, that nearly happened one day ago. "R-Right? That's understandable!" he laughed awkwardly, privately thinking that if she had such a well-paying job, she ought to be the bread-winner. "What woman wants a bum with no money? Ha ha ha..."

"Second! I want it to be... romantic," Sena continued, losing her ferocity and turning her eyes down towards her tea.

Kazuma's ears perked up. "Go on."

Her face became a bit red as she rubbed along the circumference of the tea-cup with her fingers slowly. "Marriages in this world are often matters of convenience. Status, reputation, and the like are chief concerns for most people. That's not why I want to marry... I want someone to come home to. Someone to hold. Someone who isn't concerned about my job and isn't afraid of me, but also isn't a pervert who just wants me for my body. Someone who understands and appreciates me..."

"Hm. I think that a person who's seen you show this **** side of yourself would be best," Kazuma agreed, wearing a serious expression as he nodded his head and placed one hand upon hers atop the cup. "If we narrow it down to men who meet that criteria, then the best would be-"

His hand was slapped away and Sena's girlish expression vanished, immediately replaced with her cold glare. "No."

"Right?" Kazuma sobbed, grabbing his teacup and running his fingers across its surface dejectedly like she had been a moment ago. "But huh... You say you want someone well off, but also someone who will marry you for love. This is getting tricky. Let's move on to my schemes-- I mean, uh, plans."

Sena nodded, turning her chair slightly to face him at an angle. This was the part she was interested in.

"Option one: the shotgun approach."

"What is a shotgun?"

"Not important. What I mean is that this is the one with the biggest 'spread.' In this approach, all you need to do is show off your charm in town. The easiest way to do that is if I use the script to control your actions. I know the kinds of things that make men crazy! I'll get them all buzzing around you like fruit-flies and then you can take your pick!"

"... And how would you have me do that?"

"... I was thinking that shaking your ass for those knights did pretty well-"

"No," Sena cut him off, pushing her glasses up with one hand and looking not angry, but rather, just disappointed. "What is the other plan."

Kazuma groaned-- this next one was a lot more work on his part. "This is what I call the 'sniper rifle' approach."

"Rifle... like that artifact from the Crimson Demon village that destroyed the magic eater?"

"Something like that. The point is precision. So one of your big problems is that you don't know who's already interested in you, right? If you did, that would help a lot, since you want someone who can be romantic with you. Your best bet, then, is to pick someone who already likes you, despite your cold exterior, but for whatever reason, they just can't say it."

Sena placed her fist over her mouth and nodded intently, looking suddenly more excited. "Yes! How can we know who fits that criteria, though?"

"So... there's this secret place where men can enjoy all kinds of fantasies with different women. It's-"

"The succubus brothel. A place for degenerates."

"I-I've just heard about it from friends, of course," Kazuma squeaked, feeling himself sink back in his seat. "But I know some people who work there. One of the rules is that the patrons can write any appearance for a succubus down on the paper and a succubus with those features will visit them in their dreams. But you see... it's not actually against the rules to pick a real person, so a lot of patrons will do that. So some patrons have probably already picked to have a succubus that looks like you!"

"Ah, I see. Thank you for the information. I'll have the entire brothel shut down immediately."

"N-No! Anything but that!" Kazuma pleaded, clasping his hands together. "I'm going somewhere with this! I'm saying that if the brothel keeps records, then those records can show us who already has an interest in you!"

"Denied. Consider that criteria three: the person I'm looking for cannot be such a degenerate that they'd attend a succubus brothel."

"Welp, I tried. Guess you might as well go home."

Sena's eyebrows tilted up in confusion. "Excuse me?"

Kazuma leaned forward, crossing his arms at his chest with a serious expression and speaking as a representative for all men in Axel. "Because I'm telling you: every man in the entire city, and probably more than that if we expand to the pastures just around the city, has been to that brothel, and most of them are regulars there. That's half the reason so many male adventurers even stay in this city. If you don't want a guy who's interested in having the woman of his dreams appear to him at night and give him sweet release for the low cost of some of his vital ****, then you aren't going to find a guy-- ever."

Hearing those words made her gasp out loud-- it hit too close to home. Leaning back in her chair somewhat with a look of fear on her face, Sena turned her head slightly to the side as he closed in further and watched him out of one nervous eye. "O-Okay! I yield! You know more about men's tendencies than I do, obviously. But on the topic of the list, how could you even acquire that? I doubt it's available to the public and just because I'm the royal prosecutor doesn't mean I can just seize it myself. I won't **** my authority that way."

Kazuma picked up his breakfast scone, took a bite, and chewed it over. The answer was really simple: he needed to take Sena's name off the script, put a succubus's on it, have that succubus check the list for men who'd requested Sena succubi, and then they'd be golden. It might not even make sense to put Sena's name back on the script after that. They'd have all the info they needed...

... But then, Sena didn't know how the script worked. This was all for the sake of a good deed-- who could complain if there was another little twist first? "Do you trust me to use the script on you again for the sake of getting that list?"

With slight **** and an unusually submissive frown, Sena nodded.

--------- "Ko no!" "S-Su ba..."---------