What About Mom

"Its not like she's home." Buffy said. "She's on one of her 'art trips' buying for her gallery."

"But if she is." Xander pressed.

"But she isn't."

"But if she is."

"Isn't. " Buffy huffed.

"Is?" Xander teased.

Buffy knew that Xander and she could keep doing this, they could just go round and round so decided to cut it off.

"If Mom is home she'll just have to deal."

Xander laughed, "Oh, yes, Joyce Summers is a fan of lap dancing, stripping and all things burlesque."

Buffy slumped and stopped walking, she then motioned Xander to lean down. When he was down at her level Buffy explained in a soft voice, "Look, you aren't... entirely... wrong."

"Say what?" Xander asked.

"Before my parents divorced that movie Striptease came out and there was that whole business about Demi Moores saying every woman should strip for her man. So... to try and save their marriage Mom took some stripping lessons."

"Okay." Xander slowly nodded his head.

"Didn't work." Buffy grumped, "They still got divorced. But...."

"But?" Xander pressed.

"But Mom liked stripping as a work out. So... yeah, Mom likes stripping, dancing and all the things involved because it keeps her in shape and, y'know, makes her feel sexy still." Buffy explained. She palmed her head, "We even have a practice pole in the basement."

"Joyce Summers: secret stripper." Xander said bemusedly. "I would never have guessed, Buff. Feels like a set up for a soft core skinemax movie."

Buffy huffed. "My mom is a stripper. Part time. And nothing skeevy, more burlesque type jobs."

Xander just blue screened for a minute. "Huh."

"Well, how do you think she stays in such great shape?" Buffy asked, her mom was in ridiculously good shape and damn near a perfect representation of a M.I.L.F. or a Cougar. Buffy was just relieved her Mother hadn't gone full skeevy stripper and had a big ballon bimbo boob job.

Xander shrugged, "Good genes? Yoga? Aerobics?"

Buffy snorted, "Nope. Working a pole. Like the super acrobatic kind. Holding herself up at the top and inverting, spinning down the pole and all that gymnastic type stuff. She recently started working with those big silk drape things." Buffy started walking away, "So that's why it isn't going to be a big deal if I give you a lap dance."

"Huh." Xander fell into step behind Buffy.

"Also, she's working a job this weekend in L.A." Buffy explained, "That's why I don't have to worry about her being home. Friday and Saturday, staying with her original teacher overnight. Home on Sunday with a... a... little bit of extra spending money."

Xander's brain suddenly connected a few dots, "Wait a minute, wait a minute, are you telling me all of Joyce's 'art trips' to find stuff for her gallery is just a cover for her job as a stripper?"

Buffy exhaled a great big breath, "Sometimes. Yeah. D-dont tell anyone about it, okay?"

Xander mimed zipping his lips and throwing away the key.