yep, rules

“At this point lesser hosts would bore you with a repeat of the rules you have already read a thousand times.”, Ora mused while twirling her crown around with a finger. “Luckily for you, you are currently watching the greatest season with the greatest host in this shows history! So, we will just skip that part.”

She tossed her crown high in the air, it spun there for a while before various thorns started to shoot downwards, each of which headed for one of the contestants.

Some yelped in pain, others tried to avoid the attack, it didn’t matter, the result was the same. Within seconds, every single information about the games rules, objective, transformations, eliminations etc was rudely shoved into the girls brains. Ora made sure to include a few examples of past eliminations for good measure.

Some took to it better then others.

“Ok, not a dream. Got it”, Shizuka nodded her head, a bit of a manic smile on her face.

“Urp...hurlllll!!!!” After a bit of dry heaving, Sahara evacuated the contents of her stomach, much to the dismay of her neighbors.

Sahara wasn’t the only one who had an accident. Megan, near cataconic, wet herself.

Carol looked like she was about to hyperventilate before a sharp glare from her teacher caused her to compose herself.

Kikki had closed her eyes, seemingly in complete denial.

At this point, the girls were allowed to move again. Dahlia, herself grappling with this immense influx of information, stood up and patted Sahara on the back, trying to soothe the shaking queen.

“Fooking hell!”, Liz cursed, as she scooted away from the soiling girl, shouting many colorful expletives as she did.

As for the master, he looked at the whole spectacle with a distraught look on his face, wanting to do something but clearly unable to focus on any particular problem individually so he just kept impotently gaping.

Ok, this is fun and all but let’s just hit the fast forward button until the girls are mentally coherent again.

Whirrr…Whiiirrr...whiiiiiiiiiiir...ah wait that’s too far one of them died of thirst….whuuuuuuuur….perfect!

Ora snagged her crown back out of the air with a triple backwards sommersault.

“To quickly recap for the one moron in the audience who hasn’t yet watched a season: These girls are tasked with obtaining 100 Victory points. Whoever holds that number by the end of a round will be granted the honor of mistress of the harem and a wish. While playing the game, you will accrue various transformations and should you for whatever reason end up with negative VP by the end of a round, you get a cool song from me. Oh and you will be kicked out of of the running and be saddled with a soul and body crushing exit transformation! But the song is really cool!”

Ora smirked towards Sahara, who recoiled in fright.

“This season will last for five rounds or until the first person has obtained 100 Victory points. Fair warning: Should anyone obtain 100 VP before Round 5, the lowest ranking Harem members will receive an exit transformation. How many depends on the round that happens. Four in Round 1, Three in Round 2 etc. So, make sure to snipe any high fliers. Or else.”

Doing a quick sanity check, it looks the girls got the initial panic out of their system, quite literally in some cases, and are now either at the stage of dread or denial. So that’s nice.

“Well then, we have some very FUN house rules this season. We will of course go over these in more detail. Because they are interesting, so don’t skip this! And Daniel just did. He is a spork now. Don’t be a Daniel. Anywaaaaaays, starting with the AMAZING GREAT FANTASTIC MAIN GIMMICK OF THE SEASON!!!!!!!”

Ora snapped her finger and behind her a cheap looking neon sign lighted up:

“On lesser seasons of Harem Hotel, the contestants can usually live it up pretty nicely. Oh sure, they have to compete in some silly, degrading games, be subject to objectification and might suffer some horrible, life altering transformations but overall life is pretty cozy. Sorry to say, I am not your average host and things here will be quite a bit different. Quite different indeed! Ohohohohoho!”

"Then get a bloody move on!”, Liz barked.

Ora was glad to oblige.

“Let me first give you an example. It’s easier that way.”

Below the MEAN MAIDS sign, another sign appeared but it was a bit far away, so Cherry went around and handed out pamphlets instead. Anyway, here is yours. You can print it out and frame it in your bed room!

“For this round your social ranking will be decided by two things”, the little host continued. “Your transformation is the main deciding factor, with harsher transformations making things a bit nicer and vice versa. But don’t get too cocky. A low popularity ranking can still screw you over. Popularity is also a factor in how much BP you make per hour worked, but it’s kinda complicated and I’m getting thirsty, so meh.”

Waiting for everyone to read the pamphlet(that means you!), Ora took a break and drank a glass of delicious Cherry juice that was handed to her by a penguin butler.

The reaction was quite varied. The nerd soaked the information provided up like a sponge. The teacher hag looked at it with eyes so full of disgust Ora wondered if she would puke too. Meanwhile Ora was pretty sure the shizo nurse was just pretending to read.

“You expect me...to do menial labor?” Sahara eventually pressed out and her face blanched.

Ah, that’s her cue to continue. Ora quickly finished the rest of her drink.

“*gulp* Indeed I *gulp* *gulp* do! *gulp* Weeell, with your points negative and your complete inexperience with any sort of labor...”, Ora smirked. “All I can say, you better hope the audience despises another contestant more then you. But don’t worry. Since we value our workers health(and are not unionized) you all get a day off on your date night AND the day of the challenge. Oh, and today doesn’t count either. Lucky you! Am I a generous host, or what?”

Ora waited a bit for this bombshell to settle in. “Now I see Miss Brainiac is already eagerly raising her hand. Yes, please.”

“What fort of work are we expected to do here?”

“Good question! In a very broad sense, you are tasked with making sure this hotel keeps nice and tidy. Other lesser seasons may have fairy’s, ghosts, fauns are other flunkies to do the job. But not here: Only on Harem Hotel: Mean Maid edition will you get the privilege to be both contestants and the hired help!”

Of course that alone was not satisfying enough for Carol who never even bother to lower her hand.

“Thif pertainf towardf the fecond pofition on the lift. What if “managerial work?”

Ora grinned. She was waiting for that question.

“The manager, or head maid, will be allowed to allocate your work, first position excluded of course. Now let me be clear here: The hours you have to work each day will not change but what exactly you have to do will. This will be especially important for the lower ranked ones. The work you will have to do can make all the difference between life or ****. Or well a fate worse then ****. You can’t actually die here.”

I fee. In other wordf, the fecond fpot if more defirable then the firft, Carol thought but decided to keep to herself. Yes, she also lisps in her mind, stop being annoying.

The little host allowed the girls to stew about that for a bit too. “Now then, any other questions?

Carols arm was still raised but someone else spoke up instead.

“What of the master?”, de sade asked pointedly.

“What about him?”

The teacher made an unpleasant face. It looked a bit as if she just bit down on a lemon. “Must I spell everything out for you? I demand to know if he is able to influence our managerial duties.”

Ora’s face started to twitch. Maybe she should just go ahead and transform the old hag into a coat hanger. No, no. Ora is a professional. Rules now, coat hanger later.

“Not at all!”, the super professional host thus explained in her super professional voice. “You are completely in charge of the manager position! The master hasn’t a say in it.”

“But we have to obey hif orderf.”

“Eh?”

“Or we get penalifed with minuf five victory pointf, af waf eftablifhed prior.”

“W-well...”

“Fo if he juft orderf…”

SPLURT!

Huh, how weird. Suddenly, out of nowhere, Carol Summers was hit by a massive mind blowing orgasm! Oh my, it looks that orgasm was so intense it knocked the poor girl straight ****! Geez, isn’t that so weird? Huh!

“Any more questions? No? Good.”, Ora nodded pleased “Now...”

“W-wait!”, Sahara suddenly shrieked. “Listen, you lot! My Daddy is wealthy beyond measure! Just give me the top spot and you have my word, he will grant all of you riches beyond your wildest dreams!”

“Shut yer fooking trap”, Liz snarled.

Yeah, what she said.

If only Sahara would have shut her trap, the audience might have already forgotten she existed. Ah, Ora wondered what exit transformation she should give the loudmouth? Definitely something that put that mouth to good use. Maybe stone fountain ornament with her mouth serving as the fountain? A bit cliché perhaps but classics are classics for a reason.

The other girls at least seemed to have realized that a good Harem Hotel contestant is seen not heard.

Progress.

“If that would be all”, Ora pressed, eager to get this utterly tedious part over and done with. “Next, let’s talk a bit about victory points. You have already realized that you can get them for pleasing your master...or losing them. And you also know that you can get VP by playing around with your fellow contestants. However…”

Ora smirked.

“Exclusive to Harem Hotel: Mean Maids you can also gain VP for totally screwing your fellow contestants over!”

Not wanting to miss a beat, Ora continued. “No matter if you trick them or use your brute strength to subdue them. You will gain points for that. And you know the best part? The poor sap you bullied will lose the exact same amount of points! It’s win-win! Well win for you and the audience. The victim is screwed.”

“Waaait…” One could almost see the meager gears in Liz’s brain turning. “Can I just dong everyone 'ere?

“H-Hey! I am opposed to ****!”, declared Sahara who scooted herself away.

“Of course not”, Ora rolled her eyes. “We want to see sexy **** here! Sexy!”

Ora could tell by the vacant expressions that none of these freaks know what that meant.

“Meaning no scooped out eyeballs or any of that guro stuff! Doing that will net you a penalty depending on severity. **** someone until they pass out? You bet that’s a punishment transformation. But punching someone in the face will just cost you a few VP’s. So, if that’s fine with you, go for it. I don’t judge.”

Quite a few of the girls countenance drained even more then they already have, if that’s even possible.

"Reckon all the bloody good stuff's been given the flick."”, Liz grumbled. “So, what kinda stuff's even fair dinkum?

“Again, everything that’s deemed sexy is perfectly fine. You know, slapping, spanking that sort of thing. You have to figure the gist out on your own. Experimentation is half the fun!”

Shizuka nodded her head in agreement.

“W-wait!” Ashley finally remembered he existed. “I don’t want to see any **** here. That is an order!”

“Well?”, de Sade asked.

Grrrrr, who’s idiot was it to let the master order the girls around? This will ruin the ratings!

Then, the same penguin from earlier waddled on stage and whispered something in Ora’s ear. The little host looked very happy, as if all her troubles had vanished in an instant.

“Ehem!”

She cleared her throat.

“I veto it.”

“Y-you what?”, Ashley gasped.

“My, is it not obvious?”, the little host nodded sagely. “I am allowed to veto any unreasonable order you give the contestants. Of course, if I do so, the girls won’t lose any points for disobeying you.”

"Right, so how do we suss out which orders we gotta follow and which ones to chuck in the bin?", Liz asked a grinning Ora.

“That’s the neat thing, you don’t.”

“Fooking figures.”

“Now, to matters at hand! A five point penalty for even the slightest amount of fisticuffs is far too unreasonable. So, that’s one vetoed”, Ora declared smugly, much to the masters chagrin.

“B-but...”

“But far be it from me to deny the master his peaceful Harem! So from now on, any contestant will receive a loss of a full half Victory point for any amount ****!”

Of course, it was easy enough to figure out, that even with that penalty, **** would most likely result in a net gain.

It will however reduce the overall points gained, which was awesome as far as Ora was concerned! This won’t be one of those dumb seasons were the host has to course correct halfway through because the contestants earn too many points.

“Excufe me.”

Oh great, the nerd’s awake.

Carol, looking slightly unsteady but otherwise no worse for the wear stretched her hand out again. “What about the manager duty?”

Ora rolled her eyes. “What about it? Didn’t we just discuss that?”

“Yef. But I wifh to know if we can get pointf there too?”

“Ah that…” For once an actual smart question from the brainiac. Maybe that girl isn’t completely hopeless after all., “Of course! For every day you make one girls life a living hell you gain 1 VP while the girl you torment loses one.”

“H-How awful”, Dahlia gasped.

“Just one?”, Liz scrunched up her face. “Who gives a stuff about one bloody point?”

“Hmm...that’s one per girl and day...”, Shizuka mumbled in her sleep. “...the potential points gain per round iiiis 60 points...hehe...Disneyland...”

“42 pointf”, Carol corrected. “You have to account for the date and challenge dayf, but that if ftill maffive.”

In a single week the girl on manager duty could gain enough points to reach past the halfway point.

Even Sahara would be easily able to make her negative balance back.

In other words, the girl who ended up in that position would be tremendously powerful.

“Hmm, I don’t knoooow…”, Kikki cutely poked her chin. “It might be difficult to come up with awful enough work for the girls who only need to work one or two hours. You also need to consider alliances and blowback. So, the actual points one can gain is probably much lower.”

“We shouldn’t even entertain the idea!”, Dahlia shouted. “If we want to make it through this we all have to stick together. Please!”

“Oh, can it, ya hippy slut”, Liz snapped.

A bit of a heated discussion broke out after that. This was amusing but Ora was on a time crunch and so she clapped her hands to get them to shut up. “That is the gist of the rules. I left some small things out but don’t sweat it. Now...lettuce finally FINALLY get to the fun stuff.”