going home

After Sarah left the hospital, the reality of your new live settled in with a heavy weight.

You went with Sarah back to Diana’s luxury apartment under the guise of helping your mother-in-law who was recovering from accident and the loss of her daughter. When you entered you were struck by the strangeness of it all. You tried to not be caught up in your own feelings and concerns, and focus on Sarah. You thought she must feel overwhelmed, coming to live in a space filled with memories and expectations that weren’t hers but that she now had to embody. The high ceilings, the elegant décor - you could feel the presence of Diana here, and it created an atmosphere unlike the comfortable home you shared with Sarah.

You squeezed her hand in comfort but she seemed to ignore it. Her face showed none of the worries you assumed she carried. Instead her gaze moved across the room, noting the position of everything and the general cleanliness. She pulled her hand away distractedly and strode through the apartment. With a dissatisfied "hurumph" she moved a few things around. "I'll have to get on the cleaning staff. They've completely slacked off."

You stood at the doorway watching her. Concerned by her behavior you prompted "Sarah, are you okay?"

That made her pause. She turned back toward you with a confused look. "I ... I don't know what came over me. That was so strange. I walked in and immediately noticed that condition of the place and that it wasn't up to my... I mean mom's standards."

You went over to her and pulled her into your arms. "It will be okay, Sarah. This is a lot, I know. And it will take some time to get used to everything."

She let you hold her a few minutes, relaxing silently as your bodies gently swayed. You were interrupted by the sound of someone opening the door.

Sarah stiffened and jerked away from you just as Joyce, Diana's personal assistant walked in. She stopped in surprise when she saw you both. "Oh, Diana ... I didn't think you'd be here already. I wanted to be here to welcome you home and update you on what you've missed while in hospital. And my condolences on Sarah - she was a lovely woman."

Joyce threw you a quick look. While she had always been cordial enough to you, your interactions had always been awkward. She was all too aware of Diana's attitude toward you, and so had often tried to limit your time alone together or act as a mediator. "James... my condolences to you as well. But I didn't expect to see you here," she added in a questioning tone, turning back to Sarah.

Without any hesitation Sarah slipped into her role as Diana. Knowing them both so well, you could see the change in body language - how she held herself, and the expression of control Diana nearly always had.

"James was kind enough to accompany from the hospital. We had our differences but we both loved Sarah, and he was concerned for my physical and emotional health." She shifted her gaze to you as she continued. "But as you can see, James, I'm perfectly fine. Thank you for your help but you can leave now. I'll have Joyce contact you later to set up a time for me to come by your home and help with with the paperwork. And then we can do some followups to sort through Sarah's belongings."

Her tone and mannerisms were perfectly Diana. Not cruel to you but still cold - more businesslike than familial. But you saw a of glimmer of Sarah behind Diana's eyes, trying to tell you that she hated to make you leave. You knew there was little choice, though. If Sarah was going to have to BE Diana, the relationship between you would have to be keep hidden. Hopefully the two of you could change that slowly over time.

You returned to your modest home, the space that had held years of shared history now feeling empty and strange without your wife.