by reading the main path, of course!

“So, we finally return to this one, eh Gina?”

“Oh, yeah the Dragon fucker one. Took us long enough. I wonder if he heeded my advice and didn't screw any animals in the meantime.”

“We will never know.”

“Anyways where exactly where we? If memory serves right Lunnara and her dragon/child/toy where just about to engage in combat.”

“Yes, but that doesn't matter because in the four months since our review the author released a grand total of one chapter on that path.”

“What the fuck? The hell is that lazy shit doing?”

“Writing other stuff. Which is why we are here. And old hag has instructed us to read the main path and we don't want to upset old hags now would we?”

“Yeah...sure.”

“Well then, without further ado...”

READING IN PROGRESS (BGM)

“Why are we here Marcie, just to suffer?”

“Well, I don't think it needs to ruin the entire story for you.”

“It does. This cute story about a hot darkelf girl got absolutely RUINED.”

“Basically, our hero Lunnara gets a dragon. Not Remy tough but his brother(?) Lord Ballsack.”

“Ugh.”

“Ballsack however is very weak and as such he spends most of his time sleeping, as a penis, between Lunnara's legs.”

“I don't think I can sufficiently articulate how much this pisses me off. My favorite character TURNED INTO A DICKGIRL!”

“There, There. Look, I don't get the obsession with Futanaris either. But this will be a pretty boring segment if you complain about that one thing all the time.”

“Alright fine. Just as last time Lunnara craves world domination.”

“And she actually does a fairly good job this time around. She enslaves an ancient witchqueen, gets Lord Ballsack's approval and saves a young girl from her abusive mother, all in a days work.”

“Oh yeah, Myrce, the painslut. So that's where Unknown7 got that term.”

“Stealing as usual, I see. It is very fitting here tough. Is that what gets you masochists off?”

“Who are you calling a masochist!”

“I'm just saying, if you are into asphyxiation...”

“MOVING ON! Myrce quickly starts to obsess over Lunnara and calls her mommy. Basically same shit we saw last time.”

“Yes, Conan likes his ****, both actual and fake. Anyways, after turning Myrce's mother into a figurative cow and her boyfriend into a sissy princess...”

“Actually let me stop you right there.”

“Yes?”

“What the fuck ever happened to Princess?”

“True, he just fell asleep and was never mentioned again. I imagine Conan kinda forgot about him. I'm surprised you care tough.”

“Eh, not really. I just like calling people out. You are more into that sissy shit.”

“I only enjoy the humiliation aspect of it. When the guys are into, it just kinda loses it's appeal, wouldn't you say?”

“Whatever.”

“At any rate, this is where things take a critical turn. Conan asks his readers which direction the story should take. One of pure evil, or something a bit more nuanced.”

“Of course the edgy fuckers choose pure evil.”

“Yes, I am disappointed in Conan. What good comes from listening to these dregs? Knowing the general storybeats and that there will be no redemption in store for Lunnara is rather disappointing.”

“And what better way to show pure evil then becoming even more of a dickgirl vomit by absorbing the power of Lord Ballsack...somehow.”

“I must admit I am somewhat confused how this works as well. Why exactly did Nameria submitting result in making Lunnara more powerful?”

“You are assuming Conan doesn't just make this shit up as he goes.”

“Fair point.”

“You know what I want to know? Why is everyone in this story a cum addicted slut that caves with the slightest amount of pressure? These losers wouldn't last a single day at our school!”

“True, I was expecting better from Nameria. With her newfound powers Lunnara finally decides to make her next move and starts taking over a human kingdom.”

“And really fucking fast at that. She wiggles herself into the inner circle and becomes the shadow ruler in what, 24 hours?”

“Very expeditiously. I generally dislike this type of taking over trough mind control stuff.”

“OH YOU DON'T SAY?”

“Think, Gina, think. I was able to control you. But that was it. I couldn't just magic myself into rulership with the power of dick.”

“You are just jealous Lunnara has achieved more then you.”

“Hmpf. I suppose it is true that I don't rule a country...yet.”

“Oi.”

“So yes, at this point Lunnara has taken over the most powerful human kingdom and is poised to attack the neighboring nations. That's where Book One ends. Your opinions?”

“Was fun. Would have been better if Lunnara didn't have dick.”

“Let's see...I like the comedy in it. The timing is always slightly off, but that's what makes it charming. Also Conan still mixes up pronouns a lot.”

“Well, Lunnara has a dick, so might as well address her properly. Oh and the sex scenes are all fucked up.”

“Just as last time, Conan just doesn't do normal sex. The amount of different depravity he can conjure up is actually quite impressive.”

“More like disgusting. I didn't even know that you can cum out of your ass.”

“I...will not look that up. But yes, the sex scenes didn't quite scratch my itch either.”

“Yeah same here. Maybe if Lunnara was a bit nicer to Myrce. I know she is into that shit, but i'm not. Also dick.”

“I suppose my biggest criticism would be the lack of tension.”

“You mean how Lunnara wins pretty effortlessly?”

“Yes. The beginning was great in that regard. It was fun to see Lunnara struggle with Numaria and Lord Ballsack. But then halfway trough the story she just starts winning and never stops. I would have liked for the not Lannisters to be an actual threat for example.”

“At least the **** armor was pretty cool.”

“As I said, I blame the readers for it. Never listen to a bunch of horny fools.”

“I mean there are signs that things aren't all peachy.”

“You mean the stuff with Remy? Sure, that's something to work with. If this story however ends up with Lunnara conquering all kingdoms just for Remy to show up for the final boss. I will be very disappointed.”

“That's what Unknown7 did. Never do what Unknown7 does.”

“Words to live by.”