Your best friend Alex

… and the girl he fucked yesterday on your couch. You’re not sure how, but one thing often happens. You both go out, you come back with Alex and some hottie, drink a beer and end up asleep in your bed as he plows the chick in your living room.

The difference today is that you are… well, not you.

As you look out the door, you recognize the girl. She’s Aaliyah, the scorching-hot ebony cheerleader. Of course Alex would score her. That’s what he does. She waves at you.

“Hey D-A! Did you sleep well? Thank you so much for keeping Alex’s friend busy.” She adds in a lower voice: “I’m sorry we left you with him, but he’s such a bore… I think we heard you get eaten out, though, so I hope it went well?”

Gee. So you ate some fat slob out while the gorgeous cheerleader who thinks you’re boring got railed by your best friend. Wonderful. Then apparently you weren’t man enough to do something about the girl in your bed, and now you’re nowhere to be seen.

Fab.

“Want me to give you a lift?”