You.

More accurately, your body. With, apparently, a copy of you inside? This is weird, but when you think about it, it makes some sense. Maybe the mind of the girl you are now replaced yours? But since she’s obviously not trying to figure out why she is in your body…

It’s irrelevant.

“Hey D-A. I’m sorry I passed out, I hope you slept well?”

So apparently you, always the loser, picked up the fat slob **** girl at the party, but ended up not even plowing her?

Nice. Great.