You want the truth? You can’t handle the truth. No truth handler, you. Bah! I deride your truth handling ability!

Oh shit. What do I tell her? Um... maybe it’d be best to secure a ride back first? Naw, Uber is a thing these days even here in this fucking frozen wasteland. Ever wish that life had a pause button? I’m Batman! No, we’ve already decided that won’t work. We? When the hell did we start using the Royal We? But it does seem appropriate. Thank god I keep my internal dialogue internal. We have to tell her the truth. And have her run screaming? No. She trusts us and we can make her trust us more. We could just command her to follow us and not bother with any explanation. Stupid plan. I’m the God Damned Batman! Shut up! “I love you, Little Sister.” Way to be subtle, jackass!

It takes a moment for those words to sink in and before they do you launch into an explanation, “In 1986 my mother gave birth to twin baby girls and gave one up for adoption. I only just found out about this about a week ago and I started looking. I would have looked a long time ago, but Mom only just let me know on her deathbed.” Chrissy’s face goes from shock, to disbelief, and finally to sympathy as you pause for a breath and fumble with your phone. “You’re the girl she gave away. You have your sister’s eyes.” You hold up a picture of Beth for her to see, and watch as her pupils dilate in recognition of a face so similar to the one she sees in the mirror.

“That means that you’re my...”

“Half brother. And I think I’ve already fallen in love with you. Just like I did with your twin sister.” You point at your phone. “This is Beth. And she really wants to meet you. We both want to get to know you.”

She smirks at you from your lap. “You know, you’re a sick fuck, right Jimmy?” She sits up and slips her arms around you, pulling you close so that your lips are only centimeters apart, “And I think I like it.”

It’s another half hour later that the two of you are in her car heading back north on I-35. Plans have been made for you to retrieve your ride, and her to head back home for the day and meet you and Beth for coffee in the morning.

There’s an old proverb that says “If you want to make God laugh, tell Him your plans.”

You’re about two minutes out of Scanlon when Chrissy’s phone rings. She answers it on speaker so you hear the sound of sirens in the background. Her mother is hysterical. The fire trucks are trying to put the house out. It looks like a total loss.

She pulls into Sugar Daddy’s lot and bursts into tears. You hold her close, renewing your resolve to see to the happiness of your sisters at all costs. From the back seat you hear a muted “Blert”

Well, at least the cat made it out.