You said we were LOW budget!

"You said we were low budget!" I shouted at Eris as she ran down the tropical ravine. A huge explosion detonated behind us, and the shot panned to a large crossbow looking siege engine being loaded by a dozen swarthy men in hammered bronze breastplates and helms.

"I Lied! Cue the Action Music!" Eris jumped, and did an amazing bit of wirework which would take much longer to explain than just give the audience reaction, which was a nice long....ooooooh, followed by an Ahhh, as the expected detonation punctuated the stunt.

Unfortunately just describing it that way offended the audience considerably who threatened to beat me senseless if I didn't explain how Eris had vaulted over a perfectly placed tree stump into a forward somersault which she then accentuated by a perfect flap of the wings, allowing her to glide to a nearby tall tree with no lower branches, which was just perfectly placed to allow her to kick off from it. She then soared another fifteen feet to smack her foot perfectly against the shield on one end of a row of breastplated and armored men coming up the path. They collapsed against each other theatrically, causing the final one to fall backwards off the cliff with a classic wilhelm scream, bouncing all the way to the bottom, where he proceeded to explode for some reason.

"First take!" Eris crowed, landing with her hand on the ground and the other thrown held above her head.

"You are having way too much fun with this," I responded, ducking and rolling into a bush as at least a dozen arrows flew past, embedding themselves in the dirt and quivering there for effect. I don't know how, but the next thing I knew, Artemis was in my arms, and I was running away from another explosion, this one a bit smaller than the last.

"Wait... wait... CUT! CUT!" Eris shouted, walking off screen. "Ok, let's try that again."

The explosion tripled in size and sent out a shockwave which I narrowly dodged by dropping into a small gully, the blast passing overhead harmlessly, and making a sound that the foley guy later told me was a freight train turned up to eleven, mixed with breaking a few pine boards, and finally throwing in a cow moo, just because people have come to expect it.

"Dad always was a bit overprotective..." Artemis giggled against my chest as a crack of thunder echoed.

"Uhm... you said something about a secret way..." I asked her, trying to ignore the complicated kung fu sequence which Eris was involved in. Damn that guy was big... aaaaaand she just girl powered him... cool. Oh wait, twenty more... ok, that should be at least a couple minutes, time enough to think.

"You didn't read the script either?" Artemis boggled at me. "I mean, I read MY parts of it, but I don't remember doing much here."

"Well, crap.... where are we...?" I pulled out my copy of the script, and so did Artemis as a rain of MG42 bullets scored across the top of the gully, making a ricochet sound which echoed.

"Uhh.... let's see... " Artemis pulled out her copy, which was covered in incredibly beautiful hand drawn pictures of animals, birds and other natural features. Looks like she'd been doodling while waiting for her call. "Did we... which... fuck, which ending is this... is this the hippie back to nature ending?"

"No... no, I don't think I've lived that one yet..." I flipped through my copy which seemed like it was missing chapters, but as soon as I concentrated on what was missing, they would appear in detail. So much that I could...

Another explosion brought me out of my reverie as I watched Eris loading what looked like an ancient greek rocket launcher, then firing it at someone I couldn't see from my position. Crap, not time to be working on other possibilities. Where the fuck are we NOW?

"Uh... we're... Brent? Your name's... I thought I got to be with a girl..." Artemis started flipping back and forth in the script. "I really need to catch up here."

"Whatever, I'm... how many fucking endings does Eris HAVE?" I snarled, looking through a particularly nasty ending where I apparently gained an affection for... NOPE, NOPE, not reading THAT one... flipping right past it.

"Gonna be one less if you don't fucking hurry UP!" Eris loaded what looked like a high tech **** rifle, before firing it rapidly at someone I couldn't see, but the foley guy made certain I knew that she had scored many many hits.

"Well, it certainly sounds like you're winning..." I replied, flipping through again. "I never fucking thought... I'd be trying to read... while around me..."

"Less talking, more studying!" Artemis shouted, suddenly blasting at a public domain monster which had suddenly risen from the stream. Wasn't sure where she had got the shotgun from...

"Right, Right... uhm... script says... uhm... Artemis... uh... let's see, you've got about... three lines...."

"Where?" She asked, dropping the weapon to the ground and looking over my shoulder. "That's not in my copy..." She pulled her copy out again, and began flipping. "Let's see what page... page... fuck, was I eating a honey cake while I was reading this thing?"

"What do you mean?"

"I... I got two of the pages stuck together. My bad!" Artemis sheepishly admitted. "Uh... right right... you're not..." She mumbled to her self, her eyes scanning the pages. "Fuck, can't read... somebody spilled coffee on this thing... blah blah... Ok, Here's the line! Brent, when someone thinks you're a God, don't disabuse them of that notion!"

"Sounds a little wordy, doesn't it?" I commented.

"BRENT!"

"Right, Right!" I looked around to see that Eris had disappeared. "Fuck... right when we needed her." The angry sound of shouting was coming closer, and I peeked over the edge of the gully to see stock footage of angry legionaries, soldiers and ducked down as the squibs went off, accompanied by the requisite sound effect.

"Crap... they're getting closer," I mumbled.

"You know, I don't really want to read this part about what Dad will do to you. I mean... feels kinda... ick." Artemis commented, making some notes with a pen.

"You should have brought that up at the story meeting!" I commented, throwing a grenade overhanded. The thump and Aieee in response was right on cue, and I continued to scan through the script.

"Uh... right... let's see... uh... blah blah, something about destiny, blah blah, lame apology which would never work... blah blah... I offer you a ponny? Fucking seriously? That's... that's just stupid."

"Awwww, really? That's kinda cute actually," Artemis laughed. "Very traditional, too, but I'm worth at least two horses."

The sudden crackle and slam of a phone booth right next to us silenced our conversation. The door opened to reveal a Smiling Eris, her clothes torn strategically to suggest her perfectly proportioned body, with a slight cut on several parts, grime in artistic places, and a sexily brandished gun. Her hair blew perfectly, and a slight light illuminated her from behind. A row of judges stood up from behind a small group of bushes, all holding up signs that read ten, except for the guy with a soviet pin, who gave a Nine. I think the sunglasses were just a bit of a step too far, but when she lowered them and looked across with that smoldering gaze, she sold me on it.

"Where you headin'?" Eris delivered the line perfectly, and Artemis and I scrambled to our feet,

I was about to retort with an extremely fun line that we'd rehearsed over and over, when the sound of a voice booming "TIME OUT" roared through everything, bringing a bright flash of white to my eyes.