You get a good review

You and Mary try to enjoy the movie, but you can't get your mind off of what her mom said. You can kind of understand where her mom was coming from. She only wanted the best for her daughter. Still, this was a bit ****. I mean she was actually going to call you ex-girlfriend, to find out how good you are in bed? And what if Samantha said you were lousy, just to spite you?

"What wrong, John?" Mary pulls you out of thought.

"Huh, oh just thinking some about your folks," you explain. "They're not quite what I expected."

She nods. "Well, they are a bit unique, but that's just who they are."

You wonder if she knows anything about her mom's little plan. You need to ask, without giving too much away. "Marry, I know you want to wait before we have sex, and I know it has something to do with your parents, but are you wanting to wait for marriage, or something else?"

"Mom always said that if it's the right boy, it will be the right time," she tells you. "But if it's the wrong boy, every time will be the wrong time."

"I'm not sure I follow."

"She said when she lost her virginity, it was a horrific experience. She almost decided to give up on men in favor of a good vibrator. But she says she then met my dad. Ever since they hump like bunnies. It's a little embarrassing; I can even hear them in my room. But I know they're happy, and that's what I want."

All you can do is wait for your review, and hope for the best.

About 9:00 the next morning you wake to your mom calling, "John!! John!! You have a phone call!! Are you up yet?"

You rub the sleep from your eyes. "Huh? Yeah, just a sec!" you shout back. You pick up your extension, still a little groggy. "He-hello?"

"John?" came the female voice on the other end. "It's Marie, Mary's mom?"

"Do you have it?!!" your mom shouted to you from down stairs.

"I got it!!" you return your attention to the phone, just as you hear your mom hang up the other line. "Yeah, sorry about that. What do you need?"

"Well, I wanted to tell you that I spoke to Samantha last night."

"Already?!" Your surprised that she was moving this fast. Heck you were still hoping the bit about calling Samantha was a bluff. "What did she say?"

"Well," Marie started. "She was rather hurt by your brake up, but she's found someone else, and at least claims to be glad you have too. As for your review," here it comes, "She said you were very big, you had excellent staying power, very creative use of tongue she you would give oral, and in general an eagerness to experiment. Very good! I give you and A+!"

You breath a heavy sigh of relief. "Thank you! So does this mean you're ok if Mary and I... you know?"

"Fuck like no tomorrow?" she fills in for you. "I encourage it in fact. Just make sure that you two are responsible, and don't take any unneeded risks."

"We'll be sure," you tell her.

"Well, just so you know, I got Mary a prescription for birth control pills about when you two started dating. It hasn't been long enough yet. But soon they'll kick in. In the meantime, I order condoms in bulk on line. Jacob and I go through about three dozen a week. You're welcome to share."

Three DOZEN a week? "Umm, That's like five times a day?"

"... and?"

You shrug it off. "Ok, so I guess I'll pick up Mary tonight?"

"Well, I was wanting to know how soon you could come over?" Did she want you to deflower her daughter now?

"I guess in about half an hour or so, why?"

"I just want to give you a quick test drive before we give Mary the keys."

You drop the phone, then scramble to pick it up again. "I'm sorry, I dropped the phone. It sounded like you said you wanted me to sleep with you."

"No, just a good fucking," She tells you as if it were the weather report.

"...what..."

"You got a great review, but nothing beats hands on experience," she explains. "I mean how many times have you gone to a movie that the critics liked, but you hated?"

"...what..."

"Just let me take a few laps with Mr. Happy, and then you have Mary. We could even video tap it for you if you want."

"...WhaT!?.."

"Anyhow, I should get things ready. See you in about half an hour!"