You Know It's Not The Same As It Was

“So… how is it? Being... you again?”

Ben stands on the railing of the observation tower. Here he had fucked Wendy only two days ago from his perspective. Now he stands here with her, vastly different,yet utterly the same. Different from how she had been since she was introduced on the show for the past couple of days. The same because… this is the Wendy Ben had known for all of those months when they were dating. She was free. Or more accurately, she was given a day of freedom, bound to head back to that bundle of transformations that now defined her. A last gasp of air before being subsumed within that ‘person’.

“I… I don’t know. You’d think that I’d be shocked all over again about this place. Wish that I could stay like this and fight and resist being made back into your leather bound submissive, but…”

She pauses, turning to Ben and hugging him. “I know it’s temporary. And I know that if I try to make it last forever, I’ll just get hurt. And… and the more I think about it, the more that other life doesn’t seem like a **** sentence.” She pauses, letting those words linger as she breaks the hug. “Would I choose it? No. But at least I’m at least somewhat at peace with it. Unlike her.”

Wendy’s eyes turn to the third person on the observation tower. Kneeling near the stairs, Ashley is waiting, watching. “I know why you did it, but did you really need to take her with us?”

Ben sighs. “You saw what she was doing. She was trying to trip you when I wouldn’t stop talking to you. And when I asked her why, she just said “Oh, is Master going to punish me?” Before slapping her own ass.” I sigh. “So I told her to follow me, and both of you agreed due to my power. Then I told her to kneel and be quiet, because I don’t want her to be fucking with anyone else. I don’t understand why your transformations made her so bratty.”

Wendy shrugs. “You heard Yuki. Apparently, her desire for submission is more competitive. A desire to find somebody who can dominate her, challenging all to try. So, she behaves like a brat, trying to get people to stand up to her.”

Ben turns from Ashley. “But enough about her, you were saying you were at peace with… with being that girl the transformations make you into?” Wendy doesn’t turn from her, looking at Ashley wistfully. “Yeah. it’s… It’s not good, but… there is a peace in finding a role. I am your ****, utterly devoted to you. Now, that I have my freedom for a moment, my instincts tell me that I should be trying to fight, as you said. But, I also know this. I love you, and if being a **** to you is how I have to express my love… It’s not that bad. It is better than being bound to some random guy. Ashley… She has her boyfriend, but she was also doing her side thing. And now this transformation has her thinking she did it in some attempt to find happiness, to find the man who would actually give her the dominating presence she needed, searched for.”

Wendy leans into Ben. “Is it really that bad? Being at peace with who I am being shaped to be? You seem to think so, based on that contemplative look on your face. I thought you had made peace with being a Master.” Ben holds her in his arms.

“I… That was an act, though one that grows truer by the day. You don’t just snap and become some monster overnight. I know my role is necessary, keeps you all safe. But that doesn’t mean I’m comfortable with it.” Ben’s jaw grows tight as he grimaces.

Ben’s hold on Wendy grows tighter. “And you’re back. Back to who you were? Don’t you think we should do something to celebrate, to mark the occasion in some way? You told me earlier that you don’t have any big plans, that you were just going to go and talk with the other women at the meeting and then go to bed. Don’t you want to… You know, be with me, as yourself?” Ben holds Wendy’s ass in his hands to make his intention clear.

But Wendy merely shakes her head. “That’s the hotel talking, Ben. You may not be comfortable in your role, but that doesn’t mean you can escape all of its habits and bounds on your perceptions. Maybe if we made love now, it would be more gentle, more sweet. But it would still be because of the game. A small act of rebellion against it, to say ‘You didn’t change us, Yuki.’ But it would be a token gesture. A gesture that Yuki merely shrugs at. ‘Oh, how cute. I’m glad you marked the occasion by fucking.”

“And… I don’t want that. Us making love wouldn’t inscribe the real Wendy in your heart. The real Wendy isn’t some static thing, and the hotel Wendy steals her body and dances to Yuki’s tune. The hotel wants you to objectify us, make us into your neatly arranged dolls, one for breeding, one for fucking in bdsm gear. I’m not going to be your ‘Guilt Free Uncaged Fully Organic Fuckslut, limited time only.’ That’s what I would be if we had sex now. No, with my freedom, I will give you this.”

She leans up, kissing Ben. Kissing him for quite a few minutes, deeply passionately. But then, she lets it go. “And when I go back to being your bondage Barbie, don’t think of who I was. Think of who I am. That beneath the leather, my heart still loves you. That despite the bondage, I am freely giving myself to you. That while the Hotel’s Wendy and the ‘real’ Wendy might express their love differently, their love is the same.”

“You know it’s not the same as it was. Because it can never quite be as it was. People are always changing, more a collection of memories, bound to move forward, looking back but never able to return.” Wendy laughs, as tears start to form in her eyes. “See, that’s the fancy Ivy League education coming through.” The tears are not that she is losing that aspect soon, **** to quit school to join Ben’s company.. But that she ran away from Ben to achieve it in the first place.

“I feel like I've been talking a while, so what are your thoughts, oh Master of mine.” Ben looks at Wendy, really looks at her, not her body encased in leather or the girl who came to him with a butt plug ready to give him everything. Into her eyes, into her soul.

“I love you. And I will be your Master when you turn back into… when you take back your transformations. I’ll try to remember who you are, even as this place makes understanding that harder and harder. But I won’t deify you. You are you. The you outside of the Hotel isn’t some perfect being corrupted and stained into utter depravity. You are just you. And your love is real, even if the way you express it is different.” Ben smiles. “Something like that?” Wendy shrugs. “I think you got the gist at least.” But her teasing words dart out through a warm smile that says that she knows he understands.

Wendy turns, “Anyways, let’s get going. I don’t know if you need to meet with anybody else before tomorrow. Maybe you could come and talk to the other girls, give them some peace before tomorrow.”

Ben’s gaze hardens. “I don’t think I will. I don’t know I can give solace to anyone, given what is going to happen tomorrow. How do you comfort somebody when based on the whims of some hidden audience, one of them will never be the same after tomorrow.” Ben follows her, looking at Ashley. “Ashley, you may stand and you may speak now.”

The immediate answer of Yes Sir is followed by a very unexpected one. Ashley begins to cry. Or rather, verbalizes her crying, for the tears had gathered in her eyes for a little bit. “Please, Master! Please, can I ever be worthy of your love like that?!” Ben at first turns his face away from Ashley, taking this as Wendy’s transformations driving Ashley crazy, but then he thinks for a moment.

She was always the side piece. Ben had sex with Ashley, but with Callie. Her boyfriend has sex with her, but even before the transformations had really grabbed hold of Ashley, she didn’t speak of him in glowing terms. And obviously the men she slept with hadn’t had any positive emotional impact. And that moment with Wendy just now… it was beautiful. Like a fairy tale, dripping with a true and enduring love, despite their circumstances.. The type of romance that would go into a movie and make millions.

I’m sure Yuki is just eating this up. Or maybe not, she seems a bit disgusted with such pure forms of love.

So Ben turns back toward Ashley, who has now stood up. The even bustier blonde wrapped up in leather, looking at the Master that she always dreamed of. “Of course. I love you too, Ashley.” Ben knows that he is lying. That of the various sex toys, he had bonded with Ashley the least in terms of her mind. Every transformation she took seemed to be centered on making her less of a person. Sure, the others had transformations that made them sexier, changed their minds, but Ben could see that Ashley always got that little bit rougher. He thought of her in her dome. The Bimbo. A being you do not love, but that you merely have sex with. A sex doll with a pulse.

“I’m sure that I’ll come to love you as we spend more time together.” Another lie. Ben knew that while he would probably have sex with Ashley in the future, he didn’t know if he’d ever love her more than he did now. Maybe. Stranger things had happened. He loved many of his girls, like Callie and Yua. Ashley wasn’t one of them. She was his sex doll and as Ben descended the stairs, part of him didn’t even question that.