You’re sick of being single

You haven’t been with a girl in a really long time – like not even hooking up. You are taking a break from the apps after a series of bad first dates mixed in with an equal number of girls who flake or basically stand you up. You don’t think you’re unattractive – and you have a good job as VP of Communications or Google. You don’t know why you haven’t been able to find a girl in all of Chicago that wants to date or at least hook up with you.

Perhaps your burgeoning interest in Samantha isn’t helping you. Especially since you know she has a husband named Jimmy – and they seem happy together when you’ve seen them at Google events and happy hours.

The good thing about being single if you can jerk off whenever you want – and that turns out to be a lot. You jerk off maybe three times a day. It was about two, but now that you think about Samantha so much during the day you often slip into one of the small gender-neutral bathrooms that are completely enclosed to jerk off in the middle of the work day.

You get very distracted in your weekly check-in meetings with Samantha - especially when she wears something low cut enough to give you a little peak at her cute A-cup breasts - knowing that you're going jerk one out thinking about her after your meeting. And it's not like Samantha is the only hot girl you have working for you. Caitlin and Laura Jean - Samantha's closest work friends - also make regular appearances in your daytime fantasies either individually or as a group.