You're always up for something different

"Hmmmmm," you say, tapping your finger on your chin. "Alright!"

"Excellent!" Dr. Philovibe claps his hands together. "Please, what is your name?"

"Joy!" You reply.

"Joy, get in the vehicle behind Miss Helena."

You happily comply, opening the door of the black SUV and clambering in behind the large woman.

"Buckle up," the woman says with a hint of an Eastern European accent.

Dr. Philovibe pulls away from the curb. He drives past your house on the way to their house in Hollydale. It's only about two blocks down the road from you, which lessens the concern you were beginning to feel once you were buckled into the seat.

"You go inside," Helena explains as the SUV pulls into their driveway.

You follow them into the two-story home with gray vinyl siding. It's dark in the house, but it appears to have modern decorations and fine dark hardwood floors throughout.

"Please," Dr. Philovibe says, "follow me."

You fall in behind him and Helena, a good foot taller than you, brings up the rear. Dr. Philovibe leads you into an austere kitchen finished in chrome and black tiles. To the left of a glass table is a simple door. He opens it with a key and begins to descend a staircase into the dark basement.

You hesitate.

"Please, Joy," Dr. Philovibe says. "There is nothing much to be afraid of down here."

Helena closes in behind you, providing a creepy counterpoint.

"Alright," you say, and follow him down.

As you near the bottom of the stairs flourescent lights flicker on. You are in very sterile room, much larger than you would have expected. The floors are smooth and painted light blue and the walls are covered in immaculate white tiles. Along the walls of the room are various shelves and work tables covered with electronics, chemicals, and arcane devices.

"Welcome to my laboratory, Joy," Dr. Philovibe opens his arms.

"Gee, Mr. Philovibe," you say.

"Doctor!" Helena barks.

"Dr. Philovibe!" You quickly correct. "This is amazing. What do you do down here?"

"I am a scientist, miss," he peers at you through his huge glasses. "I invent, I experiment, and I create."

"What sort of stuff do you create?"

Dr. Philovibe grins.

"Why, all manner of things, my dear!"

He begins directing your attention to various shelves and devices.

"This is a non-invasive gender reassignment device," Dr. Philovibe points to a sarcophagus-like metal chamber. "I was going to sell it to the Swedes. Milo Philovibe's Tender Gender Bender."

You giggle.

"It didn't work properly," he hangs his head a bit, "People ended up stuck between two genders. Very unfortunate. It might have helped so many people."

He continues on and then stops at a series of transparent tubes filled with various colors of liquid. Each tube has a tap in it like a beer keg.

"The makeover shake," he points to the tubes. "Mix a shake from the various liquids in the right proportions and you can give yourself a very thorough makeover."

"How thorough?" You ask, leaning into to peer at the liquids.

"Life-changing, physically thorough," he says. "It only lasts a day. You just look up the correct mixture in the recipe book to achieve the desired effect."

"You'll make a fortune!" You exclaim.

"He lost book," Helena interjects.

Dr. Philovibe nods sadly.

You notice a red door that appears to be made from iron. There is a heavy padlock on the door.

"What's in there?" You ask.

"Oh," Philovibe stops. "Ahem, my, ah, specimens. But those shouldn't concern you, just a few failed experiments and aliens."

"What did you just say!?"

"Oh, my, nothing, nevermind," he continues on. "Come along."

He stops at a work bench that looks like a chemistry set exploded across its surface.

"This might be my masterpiece," he indicates a plastic jar with a screw-on lid. "Formula-00. I designed it for the military."

"What is it?" You ask.

"It's a body cream," he unscrews the lid to show you the white goop inside the jar. "You apply it to your skin, it soaks in, reacts with the chemicals in your pores, and then it gives you a very special power. You can become invisible!"

"No way," you giggle. "Invisible? That could never work!"

"My dear," he replies. "It does. Unfortunately, it only works when you are sexually aroused. The US military tried it with some of their commandos, but, well...don't ask, and I won't tell."

You giggle again.

"But you, my beautiful young lady," he indicates a gray door, "should head through that door and have a seat."

"Why?" You ask.

"You will be participating in a perfectly safe and harmless experiment," he guides you to the door and opens it.

The room inside is similarly bright and clean, but there is a padded examining table in the room's center. Most of one wall is black glass, suggesting there may be an observation room concealed there.

"I don't know about this," you say.

"I assure you, it's perfectly fine," Dr. Philovibe leads you into the room. "I have never harmed a test subject."

Helena bends down and whispers something in his ear.

"That was his own fault!" He hisses back at her.

He clears his throat.

"Just have a seat," Dr. Philovibe pats the table. "Relax. Helena will be back shortly and in less than an hour you will be on your way and much the richer."

"Oh, alright," you relent and hop up on the table.

"Thank you," he says.

Dr. Philovibe and Helena hurry out of the room.