Level 1: Visit the dealer.

You heard around college that there was actually a **** dealer who dealt out of a lean-to in the forest of the park.

Of course you're broke, so you don't have any money to buy ****, nor would you, if you're being honest with yourself (you can just imaging how you'd get grounded for, basically, ever), but you thought you would check it out anyway.

"Are you cop?" says the disheveled man peaking out of the lean-to. "You have to tell me if you are."

"I am not a cop," you say.

He has a ragged, closely cropped, white stubble, eye glasses and messy black hair. He looks more like a hippy than someone dangerous.

"Okay. Do you want to hear my story?'

"No, I was just--"

"Well here it is anyway. I once worked as a Principal Investigator for DuGen--"

"Hey, that's where my Step-Dad and sister work."

"Stop interrupting me. Where was I? Right. I worked at DuGen. I was the hottest PI since Jennifer Doudna! I could CRISPR circles around her. Feng Zhang wished he could cross the blood-brain barrier with my viral delivery system! But the MAN got wind of what I was CAPABLE OF, MAN, and THE MAN couldn't handle the POWER I had, MAN. The MAN was all like: 'experiments of untested **** on living human guinea pigs is unethical Brian!' They couldn't HANDLE what I could DO! So they fired me, the PIGS. But I'LL SHOW THEM."

"You'll show them?"

He grasps your jacket collar and pulls you uncomfortably close. He smells of urine and lab equipment.

"They don't know, see?" he whispers, urgently. "They don't know I stole all that equipment. They thought it was just moved to some other lab, but I fooled them. It's IN MY HOUSE. And I got friends on the INSIDE, see? Friends with REAGENTS. Friends with LIQUID NITROGEN. THEY'LL SEE! AND THEN THEY'LL COME BEGGING TO TAKE ME BACK! BUt NO, I'm not going back, see? I'M JUST GONNA LAUGH IN THEIR FACES."

"Dude!" you push him away. "I was just riding through the forest!"

"So what are you here for? I got the weirdest possible shit for you, my friend."